T-Time Weekly News Update for the Week of June 10th-16th 2008

Do you work all day and have no time or energy to find out what's going on in the world? Do you get bored and impatient watching TV anchors tell you over and over what's going on? Do you sometimes care more about what Britney Spears is doing than what President Bush said during his State of the Union address? If you answered yes to even one of these questions this is what you've been waiting for! Every week I'm going to give you a quick rundown of the past week's biggest headlines. I won't bore you with minute details and shove tons of information down your throats. These are just the facts with a little humor for measure! And if you want to know more you can always just Google it or ask me.

I Want to Be on TV:

Boob tube stars have been making waves in the news this past week. MTV has officially said ‘goodbye’ to music and ‘hello’ to “reality” TV. Paris Hilton is searching for a new BFF on her latest reality show. Nicole Richie is pitching a show that will search for the ‘next Nicole Richie’ and then give the winner her own reality show ‘The Hills’ has become so popular that now there are talks to have an Entourage-like spin-off show for Brody Jenner where he will try to find a new “bro” to join his crew. ‘Grey’s Anatomy’ and ‘Knocked Up’ star and Emmy winner Katherine Heigl has been suffering from severe ‘foot in mouth’ disease. Her latest moment was removing herself from the Emmy race because she feels that she wasn’t given quality material that would warrant a nomination. Wasn’t she the same actress who proudly protested and striked along side the writers (the same people who didn’t giver her quality material)?!? There was rumor of a ‘Gossip Girl’ spin-off show centered around Jenny Humphrey’s character, but the creators deny it and say they’re concentrating on Season 2. I agree…I think you need more than 1 season before you branch off to other ventures.

Forbes Magazine came out with its annual ‘Celebrity 100 Power List’. Oprah ranked in at #1 for the 2nd consecutive year…SHOCKER. If you want to be super jealous you can check out the rest of the list here: http://www.forbes.com/2008/06/11/most-powerful-celebrities-lists-celebrities08-cx_mn_0611c_land.html.

Reportedly Pam Anderson and Tommy Lee are back together…AGAIN. They’ve been doing this on again-off again thing for over a decade. Pammie’s cute…can’t she just find a new man?

Most importantly…P Diddy is still P Diddy, not Puff Daddy. You can sleep well now.

Elephants and Donkeys:

Unfortunately I have not been doing my job to its fullest. I neglected to discuss GOP candidate Ron Paul for most of the primary race. I regret to inform all Paul devotees that he has dropped out of the race. Take a moment to mourn.

Now for real this time, it’s officially Senators (D) Barack Obama vs. (R) John McCain. McCain held a town hall meeting at the National Constitution Center in Philly where he discussed his stance on different issues, defined the differences between he and Obama and answered tons of questions. Here are some highlights: http://abclocal.go.com/wpvi/story?section=news/politics&id=6199863. Obama paid a visit to Jimmy Kimmel Live. There was a little bball talk, Hillary jabs, VP ideas and of course a fist pump: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dar6K6UjC_4. Obama got another big endorsement. Mr. Green himself, former VP and Democratic Presidential candidate Al Gore, announced his support for the Senator.

Don’t forget to register/re-register to vote. You can do so at http://www.rockthevote.com/. Yours truly did. It takes 1 minute and you get your new voter card in the mail.

President Bush has been keeping busy during his last few months in office. He has been traveling around Europe on his “Euro Farewell Tour”. His itinerary included Germany, Italy, France and England.

‘Meet the Press’ host/managing editor/moderator Tim Russert passed away on Friday at the young age of 58 from a sudden heart attack (he was at work when he collapsed). Russert was one of the most highly respected people in the news industry. He interviewed some of the most important people in our history, and it was considered a ‘right of passage’ to go on his show and survive one of his truly tough interviews. Friends and colleagues gave a loving tribute during this past Sunday’s show: http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/21134540/vp/25173667#25173667.

S to the P to the O to the R to the T to the S:

The Boston Celtics failed to clinch the NBA Finals over the L.A. Lakers therefore the games continue. The score so far is 3-2 (Celtics) so it’s still anybody’s game. Game 6 will be Tuesday, June 17th at 9 p.m. [EST].

NY Giants and Super Bowl Champ Michael Strahan announced his retirement. Rumors were flying around for a while, but I guess he chose to leave while still on top. Strahan hopes to pursue a career in television (don’t we all!).

Tiger Woods proved yet again why he’s the champ. During the U.S. Open it looked like 45-year-old Rocco Mediate would finally win his first major title. Well after 18 holes and a sudden death, yes there is such a thing as sudden death in golf, Woods (on a bum knee) came out victorious to gain his 3rd U.S. Open crown and 14th major title. Whip out your argyle…it’s time to celebrate!

News Potpourri:

I'll leave you with some quick news tidbits that couldn't fit either here or there so they're getting their own paragraph! Iowa has been hit with catastrophic flooding. Thousands of people have lost their homes, and many cities have just disappeared under water. To help the relief effort please donate to the Red Cross at: https://american.redcross.org/site/Donation2?idb=53735701&df_id=1086&1086.donation=form1. Apple’s Steve Jobs unveiled the new iPhone. It’s faster and cheaper just like most Hollywood starlets (yeah I went there!). They seemed to have worked out all the quirks from the original to make a new and improved version with GPS, longer battery life, faster internet access and so much more! A recent Health Department study found that 1 in 4 NYC adults has Herpes. All together now…EWW. If you like tomatoes hopefully you were steering clear of them last week. A serious salmonella scare put the kibosh on tomato consumption, but the coast seems to be clearing up now. United and US Air have gone to the dark side and will begin charging $15 for checked baggage. When will the madness end? The Tony Awards, the biggest night for Broadway, were this past Sunday. You can check out all the big winners here: http://www.tonyawards.com/en_US/nominees/winners.html. Talk about creativity…this is how you get tourists to visit your town. Your video of the week is: http://youtube.com/watch?v=s27Ilv84bj4.

I hope this gives you an idea of what's going on in the world. Buck up…it's not so bad! Maybe Ron Paul will run in 2012 and Oprah still owns the world. All is right with the world!

Now go and have an intellectually stimulating conversation with your neighbor about what you've just learned.

~t

T-Time Weekly News Update for the Week of June 3rd-9th 2008

Do you work all day and have no time or energy to find out what's going on in the world? Do you get bored and impatient watching TV anchors tell you over and over what's going on? Do you sometimes care more about what Britney Spears is doing than what President Bush said during his State of the Union address? If you answered yes to even one of these questions this is what you've been waiting for! Every week I'm going to give you a quick rundown of the past week's biggest headlines. I won't bore you with minute details and shove tons of information down your throats. These are just the facts with a little humor for measure! And if you want to know more you can always just Google it or ask me.

*According to the AP the youth are suffering “news fatigue”. They are so inundated with numerous facts and headlines that they have a hard time getting into the stories. Just one more reason to read T-Time…I take in all the news for you and just tell you what really matters. You’re very welcome.

Celebrity Soup:

In honor of Father’s Day, this Sunday June 15th, Las Vegas club, Privè, named K-Fed “Father of the Year”. Are you done laughing yet? It’s almost as bad as Dina Lohan being “Mom of the Year”. Sure he spends all his time with his kids now, but let’s not forget the stellar dad he was in earlier days. He left his pregnant (with their 2nd child) girlfriend to frolic with Ms. Britney Spears. Then he knocks up Brit Brit twice and continues partying, spending her money and wasting air. Not till Britney fell off the deep end did Kevin take on any form of responsibility. Now that is the definition of a quality dad.

Two new celeb babies have entered the world. Jessica Alba and her husband Cash Warren just welcomed their first child, a daughter named Honor Marie Warren. And Tori Spelling and her husband Dean McDermott just welcomed their 2nd child, a daughter named Stella Doreen McDermott. Maybe when they grow up Honor and Stella will be their generation’s Paris and Nicole!

Anne Hathaway proves that despite having good taste in movie roles, she does not know how to pick men. Her Italian boyfriend, Raffaello Follieri, of over 4 years is in trouble with the law for the bazzillionth time. He already took care of the $250,000 bounced check, but now his charity is under investigation because it doesn’t seem to be as legit as he claims. The artist P Diddy, formerly known as Puff Daddy, is back to being Puff Daddy. When will you ever use this bit of information? I don’t know…but at least you’re ahead of the pop culture curve.

Hallelujah Amen!:

The longest, most annoying primary season ever finally came to an end. Senator Hillary Clinton conceded the race, suspended her campaign and put her support behind the Democratic nominee, Senator Barack Obama. To add to Hil’s bad week Bill has been fighting a Vanity Fair article that claims he still parties like a rockstar and had an affair with actress Gina Gershon among other women. The only problem is all the “sources” are anonymous and the author can’t really prove any of it.

So finally it’s official (D) Barack Obama vs. (R) John McCain. The candidates are already going at one another. The next few months should be very interesting!

Now the fun of figuring out a VP candidate for Obama begins. The biggest whisper has been about Obama and Clinton running together. They even met privately after she bowed out. But I don’t know if the White House has enough room for 3 egos (Obama and both Clintons). There has even been rumbling of Caroline Kennedy taking the spot. For now Barack is basking in the joys of his win. Fist-pump anyone? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7Ah9IA87DRA&NR=1. If the fist pump isn’t your way of celebrating, how about some Obama underwear: http://www.nydailynews.com/news/politics/2008/06/06/2008-06-06_feeling_barack_obama_all_under-2.html?

Sports, Shmorts:

This past week was full of huge sports (hockey, horses, tennis, b-ball, skyscraper climbing…you name it) moments so they deserve their own section. In one of the most graceful sports around the Detroit Red Wings beat the Pittsburgh Penguins to win the Stanley Cup. Big Brown was a BIG disappointment at the Belmont Stakes. He was in the running to be the first Triple Crown winner in 30 years. Not only did Da’ Tara win, but Big Brown came in dead last. I guess he couldn’t handle the pressure…and he calls himself a thoroughbred! Rafael Nadal beat Roger Federer for his 4th consecutive French Open title. One of the most celebrated sports rivalries is continuing on. The Boston Celtics and the Los Angeles Lakers are battling in the NBA Finals, and so far the Celtics are up 2-0. But the award for most innovative sport goes to “Skyscraper Climbing”. Two men, not associated with one another, climbed the NY Times building in New York City only a few hours apart from one another. The first guy was trying to get the word out about global warming and is an avid “urban climber” who has climbed several other large buildings. The 2nd guy was making a statement about malaria. Dumb moves? Absolutely. Good causes? Double absolutely.

News Potpourri:

I'll leave you with some quick news tidbits that couldn't fit either here or there so they're getting their own paragraph! Friday was a dark day on Wall Street. The Dow Jones dropped 400 points due to increasing energy prices and unemployment rates. Although the horror of September 11th happened almost 7 years ago, the men responsible for plotting the attack have just begun facing their arraignments in Guantanamo Bay, Cuba. And don’t think that all this time in prison has softened the terrorists, according to reporters at the trials the men have been acting extremely smug throughout the process. Hopefully they will be rightfully punished for their crimes. On a lighter note for all you “Hills” fans, Whitney Port is getting her own spin-off show based in NY. Yet another guilty pleasure to DVR! In case being married to multi-billionaire Aaron Spelling wasn’t financially stable enough, Candy Spelling just won $180,000 at slot machines. First airfare prices shot up, then airlines announced that they will charge for checked luggage, and now they may begin charging passengers based on body weight. That’s right…the more you weigh the more you pay. I would kill to see this policy enforced! Does work ever make you feel like you could just “flip out”? Here’s your video of the week: http://www.stumbleupon.com/demo/?friend=5158213&msg=#url=http://break.com/index/office-worker-goes-absolutely-insane.html.

Editor’s Note: I need to make a correction to last week’s T-Time. Mahmoud Ahmadinejad is Iran’s president, not Iraq’s. And Bo Diddley was a rock, not blues, icon.

I hope this gives you an idea of what's going on in the world. Buck up…it's not so bad! We finally have a 50/50 idea of who will be our next president and K-Fed has finally been given the credit he’s always deserved. All is right with the world!

Now go and have an intellectually stimulating conversation with your neighbor about what you've just learned.

~t

You can also check this out on my official blog at http://ttimeupdate.blogspot.com/.

T-Time Weekly News Update for the Week of May 28th-June 2nd 2008

Do you work all day and have no time or energy to find out what's going on in the world? Do you get bored and impatient watching TV anchors tell you over and over what's going on? Do you sometimes care more about what Britney Spears is doing than what President Bush said during his State of the Union address? If you answered yes to even one of these questions this is what you've been waiting for! Every week I'm going to give you a quick rundown of the past week's biggest headlines. I won't bore you with minute details and shove tons of information down your throats. These are just the facts with a little humor for measure! And if you want to know more you can always just Google it or ask me.

Celeb Recap:

Hello lover. Celebrity couples had a good week last week. Ashlee Simpson officially took the name “Wentz” but professionally will go by Ashlee Simpson-Wentz. Here’s something to ponder…under what letter will you have to look her up when she releases her next album…S or W? Got you thinking didn’t I?!? After 6 years of dating Calista Flockhart and Harrison Ford may finally be engaged (Ford denies the rumors though). Unfortunately not all Hollywood couples last, shocking I know. The universe has come to its senses and George Clooney is back to being a bachelor. It only took him a year to realize that he had nothing in common with a Las Vegas cocktail waitress. Bill Murray and his wife of 11 years are divorcing, and it’s not going to be pretty. She claims he was violent, a drug abuser, bad husband, etc!

When celebs do bad things they go all out. Rachael Ray may be a terrorist…at least according to many who saw her recent Dunkin Donuts ad. Ray was wearing a black & white printed scarf that “resembled” a keffiyeh, a traditional headdress worn by Arab men, and therefore conjured up images of Middle Eastern terrorists (http://blog.foreignpolicy.com/files/images/080528_ray.jpg). DD ended up pulling the ad. See kids…too much caffeine and EVOO can do that to a person. Celine Dion is not only a diva on stage but at home as well. According to the Palm Beach Post she uses 6.5M gallons of water at her personal home in Florida. I have a feeling that she’s not BFF with Al Gore. Supermodel Naomi Campbell was charged with assault and 2 other offenses after her big brouhaha at Heathrow Airport. And actress/former child star Tatum O’Neil was just busted for buying crack and cocaine in NYC. She claims she was researching a role as a junkie...that’s what they all say.

Madonna’s adoption of a Malawian boy, David Banda, finally became official. Her new single (‘Give It 2 Me’…which should have been her first single off the new album) and video were just released…and it’s classic Madonna. For anyone who loves Madonna but not ‘4 Minutes’ this will remind you why Queen M rules the world: http://perezhilton.com/tv/?videoid=d227451abf439.

Karma really is a b*tch. After Sharon Stone made a comment that maybe China got hit with a devastating earthquake, that killed over 50,000, due to bad karma for all the abuse the Chinese government has inflicted upon Tibet, Dior dropped several of her ads.

Almost there…Just a few more primaries to go:

So the madness is about to come to an end (hopefully)…we only have a few primaries to go. Tuesday, June 3rd the Dems will battle it out in South Dakota and Montana while Senator John McCain will sit pretty with uncontested wins in New Mexico and South Dakota (just like he did in Idaho on the 27th). Despite inching closer to the Democratic nomination Senator Barack Obama has not been having the best week ever. He misspoke when claiming that his uncle helped liberate the Auschwitz concentration camp (it was his great-uncle and Buchenwald camp), the RNC has been counting the how many days it has been since Obama has gone to Iraq on http://www.gop.com/, and he resigned from his church after all the dramz broke out. On the other hand Clinton just got a huge celebrity endorsement from Mr. Shake Your Bon-Bon, Ricky Martin, and she won Puerto Rico’s primary. Another celebrity got into the political mix as well. Actress Susan Sarandon said she would leave the U.S. if McCain won.

Senator Ted Kennedy just underwent a 6-hour surgery to remove the tumor from his brain. The surgeon says that everything went well and he is in recovery. He will be receiving chemotherapy and radiation to destroy the rest of it.

President Bush did not have a good week either. His former press secretary, Scott McClellan, just released a book, ‘What Happened’ bashing the President and his administration for how major events, such as Katrina and the Iraq War, were mishandled. I have a feeling someone won’t be invited to any White House functions any time soon.

News Potpourri:

I'll leave you with some quick news tidbits that couldn't fit either here or there so they're getting their own paragraph! Ben & Jerry’s has just released a new flavor called ‘Imagine Whirled Piece’ in honor of John Lennon. Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, President of Iran, announced that he wanted to meet with the Pope while he was in Italy. I wonder if the Pope would be able to convince him that the Holocaust really did happen?!? NY governor, David Patterson, announced that NY will recognize legal gay marriages. The 2008 Scripps National Spelling Bee came to an E-N-D this past week. Sameer Mishra won by correctly spelling the word ‘guerdon’. ‘Sex and the City: The Movie’ was a monster hit this past weekend bringing in almost $30M more than expected. Now there are talks of ruining the franchise by making a sequel. Fashion design icon Yves Saint Laurent, the man responsible for putting women in sexy pantsuits, died at the age of 71 after a long battle with illness and a brain tumor. Blues musician Bo Diddley also passed away. The man famous for hits like “Who Do You Love” died at the age of 79 from heart failure. For anyone who’s idea of video games is still Mario Bros…here’s your video of the week: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sGQ20yDDVzQ.

I hope this gives you an idea of what's going on in the world. Buck up…it's not so bad! Rachael Ray is the most dangerous person out there, and the presidential campaign primaries are almost over. All is right with the world!

Now go and have an intellectually stimulating conversation with your neighbor about what you've just learned.

~t

T-Time Weekly News Update for the Week of May 20th-27th 2008

Do you work all day and have no time or energy to find out what's going on in the world? Do you get bored and impatient watching TV anchors tell you over and over what's going on? Do you sometimes care more about what Britney Spears is doing than what President Bush said during his State of the Union address? If you answered yes to even one of these questions this is what you've been waiting for! Every week I'm going to give you a quick rundown of the past week's biggest headlines. I won't bore you with minute details and shove tons of information down your throats. These are just the facts with a little humor for measure! And if you want to know more you can always just Google it or ask me.

Celeb Ups and Downs:

Lindsay Lohan is back in the eye of the gossip news storm. Remember that mink coat she stole despite being able to afford 100 of her own? Well now the student who’s coat Lohan stole is suing her for all the damage done to it. Linz is also dealing with some pretty hard to ignore lesbian rumors. She’s been hanging out with BFF d.j. Samantha Ronson A LOT, and they have been “caught kissing/nuzzling”. As a girl with close girl friends I have a feeling that their friendship is being blown way out of proportion, but take a look for yourselves: http://www.nypost.com/gossip/celebp/20080523_lohan/photo01.htm. Like all bad things Lindsay’s drama comes in 3s. Her fame-obsessed mom and not-so-talented younger sister are promoting the heck out of their new E! reality show “Living Lohan” trying to prove that they’re a normal Long Island family…yeah right! Bring on the crazy!

Instead of smog, love was in the air in L.A. this past week. Jessica Alba and Cash Warren weren’t too old-fashioned to stay chaste till marriage but chose to be all old-school and had a quickie wedding before their baby was born. If punk rocker/goth topped with Alice in Wonderland is your idea of the perfect wedding theme then you’ll want to check out Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz’s wedding pics in the newest issue of People magazine. Legendary actor and director Robert Redford announced his engagement to long-time girlfriend Sibylle Szaggars. See…even the elders can find love.

It hasn’t been all puppies and rainbows in the world of celebrity this past week. Kirsten Dunst secretly checked into rehab a while back and is finally speaking out as to why. She claims that she was dealing with depression, not drugs or alcohol. Well Aerosmith rocker Steven Tyler doesn’t seem to share in her sadness cause he just entered a rehab facility for substance abuse issues. It’s nice to see that age, children and even grandchildren haven’t slowed him down!

New York, New York: The biggest movie moment of the year is just around the corner (May 30th). The ladies of ‘Sex and The City’ have been promoting their movie all over and have just landed in NYC. Kristin Davis admitted that she doesn’t actually drink cosmos or any other drinks…she’s a recovering alcoholic. Charlotte would not approve. Katie Holmes is still trying to make a name for herself as a thespian instead of the crazy impressionable girl who fell under Tom Cruise’s spell so she’s headed to Broadway. Let’s see what she learned from all those years on ‘Dawson’s Creek’.

Politics Here, There, Everywhere:

The Oregon and Kentucky primaries came and solved absolutely NOTHING in the race for a Democratic presidential candidate! Senator Hillary Clinton won in Kentucky and Senator Barack Obama won Oregon. Clinton continues to keep on keeping on. For now the main focus has been Obama vs Senator John McCain over every issue (basically foreshadowing the upcoming election). What Clinton needs to stick out from the pack is some creativity in her TV ads. She could learn a thing or two from Steve Novick: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N2UesvrH-cs. McCain finally released his medical records and got a clean bill of health to continue on running for President. Since he’s no longer competing with other GOP candidates and he’s feeling a-ok he played host to 3 potential vp candidates (Charlie Crist, Bobby Jindal and Mitt Romney). While their husbands are busy gathering votes potential first-wives Cindy McCain and Michelle Obama are getting some face time in the pages of Vogue magazine: http://www.donkeydish.com/2008/05/cindy-mccain-michelle-obama-photos-vogu/.

Senator Ted Kennedy, the 3rd longest serving member of the Senate, and one of the few remaining members of the Kennedy clan/dynasty, was diagnosed with a brain tumor after he had a seizure. All politics aside, people from any and every party expressed their condolences. Kennedy stayed in the hospital, had a few procedures but was released and is enjoying his recovery with family and friends.

Just an fyi…Sam Adams, no not the beer you drunks, has just become the 1st openly gay mayor of a major city (Portland, Oregon to be exact).

News Potpourri:

I'll leave you with some quick news tidbits that couldn't fit either here or there so they're getting their own paragraph! American Airlines has begun doing the unthinkable…they are charging for every checked bag you bring ($15 for the first and $25 for the second). If the hike in gas prices and hence airfare wasn’t bad enough now overpackers have to suffer too…life is so unfair! If you still need your dose of MTV I’m reminding you that this Sunday Mike Myers will be hosting the MTV Movie Awards at 8 p.m.. The streets of NY just got a whole lot more patriotic this week. ‘Fleet Week’ has brought out all the sailors, marines and coastguards. For all you YouTube fanatics the band Weezer has paid tribute to some of your fave videos in their new music video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=muP9eH2p2PI. Test your YouTube knowledge and see if you can remember all the references! The new Indiana Jones movie opened as big as promised bringing in over $311 million during the holiday weekend. Award winning actor and director Sydney Pollack (‘Out of Africa”, “The Way We Were” and “Tootsie”) lost his battle with cancer at the age of 73 at his home in California. In the battle of the David’s on ‘American Idol’ David Cook came out victorious over David Archuleta. Does anyone even care about AI anymore? Paul McCartney isn’t letting a super nasty divorce get in the way of his dreams. He just received an honorary doctorate of music from Yale University. In another string of natural disasters several twisters have just ravaged Iowa. Something serious must be wrong with the universe cause Oprah’s ratings across the board (TV, magazines, etc) have been declining. It may be cause she endorsed Obama or cause she’s been losing the battle of the bulge…but no matter what I’ll always lover her! The Texas polygamist sect families who were separated after a police raid are being reunited after a Texas judge sided with the families over the state officials. Since the last Facebook video was such a huge success your video of the week comes courtesy of the Facebook Gansta: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=he1rYR_8T4s.

I hope this gives you an idea of what's going on in the world. Buck up…it's not so bad! T-Time was only 1 day late (even T needs some R&R), and Lindsay is stirring up drama yet again. All is right with the world!

Now go and have an intellectually stimulating conversation with your neighbor about what you've just learned.

~t

T-Time Weekly News Update for the Week of May 13th-19th 2008

Do you work all day and have no time or energy to find out what's going on in the world? Do you get bored and impatient watching TV anchors tell you over and over what's going on? Do you sometimes care more about what Britney Spears is doing than what President Bush said during his State of the Union address? If you answered yes to even one of these questions this is what you've been waiting for! Every week I'm going to give you a quick rundown of the past week's biggest headlines. I won't bore you with minute details and shove tons of information down your throats. These are just the facts with a little humor for measure! And if you want to know more you can always just Google it or ask me.

The Celeb Life:

Britney Spears is slowly creeping back into the headlines. Now that Paris is in “love” with Benji Madden and no longer acts like a party girl, and Lindsay is struggling to salvage the career she buried under multiple arrests and rehab stints, Britney has found her time to shine. Ms. Spears got into yet another car accident. According to my very scientific calculations this is accident #1,347. I guess to de-stress from crashing cars and not doing much else she decided to go on vacation to Costa Rica with (drum roll please) Mel Gibson. This isn’t the first time the duo has hung out. They’re former Malibu neighbors, and Mel and his wife are trying to help Britney find her way through faith. It’s like the blind leading the blind except replace blind with crazy.

In case you were wondering why you haven’t run into any celebs randomly it’s cause they’re all in Cannes, France for one of the most prestigious film festivals. They should be there to promote important movies but it’s become more of a who’s who of celebs just coming to be seen and feel fabulous in the French Riviera. The biggest talk at the festival has been about Angelina Jolie expecting twins. Jack Black broke the news during a promotional interview, and Angie confirmed it. Great, 2 more perfect human beings are about to grace this planet…just what we need. And actually focusing on movies…the new “Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull” movie is all the rage. It’s getting mixed reviews but is expected to blow up the box office.

The Simpson family can add another wedding album to their collection. Younger sister Ashlee married ‘Fall Out Boy’ bassist Pete Wentz in San Diego this past weekend. Rumor had it that the nuptials were rushed due to her pregnancy, which everybody and their mother denied. Well this time rumor was true cause the couple confirmed to all their guests that they are indeed expecting. I wonder if that baby will be born wearing eyeliner? Older sister Jessica has been experiencing her own drama. Despite being escorted to the wedding by ‘boyfriend’ Tony Romo, rumor has it that he dumped her. And with the track record of rumors in the Simpson clan I’m going to believe this one.

Strange but true new celeb couples of the week…Kate Hudson dropped Owen Wilson like a bad habit and is now getting cozy with Tour de France champ Lance Armstrong (that man loves his blondes). For me the oddest couple of the week has to be Jennifer Aniston and John Mayer…I just don’t get it. Bonus point if you can find the connecting person in both these couples! Sheryl Crow was engaged to Lance and is friends with both Aniston and Mayer.

Political Party:

The seemingly never-ending race that is this year’s presidential elections continues to top the headlines. Senator Hillary Clinton won big in West Virginia’s primary giving her more ammo to stay in the race. Needless to say Senator John McCain won by a landslide as well. Since McCain is the presumptive GOP nominee he has been using his free time traveling the country discussing the importance of preserving the environment and other important issues. He also gave a speech depicting what America life would be like 4 years into his presidency…read or take a listen: http://johnmccain.com/Informing/News/Speeches/e8114732-e294-4a0d-b0b6-e5fa16857f61.htm. And he paid a visit to the SNL set: http://youtube.com/watch?v=OF7DBXlt98c. Senator Barack Obama has upped his ‘feisty factor’ this past week. He attacked the media for attacking his wife, he attacked President Bush for indirectly attacking him during a speech in Israel, he’s gone after McCain for criticizing him on agreeing to talk to terrorists/dictators, and he brought back the flag pin. Despite all this dramz he still managed to score an audience of over 75,000 people at a rally in Portland, Oregon (here are some pics: http://thepage.time.com/photos-obamas-portland-rally-with-record-breaking-crowd/). In addition to all the super delegates twice former presidential candidate John Edwards threw his support behind Obama. Biting your nails in anticipation for the next primary? Well Tuesday, May 20th is your lucky day. Clinton and Obama will be duking it out in Kentucky and Oregon.

News Potpourri:

I'll leave you with some quick news tidbits that couldn't fit either here or there so they're getting their own paragraph! California’s Supreme Court took a huge step by legalizing gay marriages in its state. Many Hollywood stars have expressed their excitement. Comedian/TV talk show host Ellen DeGeneres announced that she and girlfriend, actress Portia de Rossi will tie the knot. China is still reeling from a massive earthquake that hit over 2 weeks ago. Today they had a moment of silence for the 34,073 and counting people who died. Tyra Banks chose “America’s Next Top Model” for the 10th cycle of her hit show. ‘Plus size’ a.k.a. ‘2/3 of America size’ Whitney Thompson took the top prize (http://www.cwtv.com/thecw/gen-gallery-antm10-models/14/1). Kentucky Derby winner, Big Brown, won his 2nd title at the Preakness. He’s now 1 title away from having the Triple Crown. Let the off-track betting begin! For all you Broadway junkies the 2008 Tony nominations were announced: http://www.tonyawards.com/en_US/nominees/index.html. It seems like every year either California or Florida is being ravaged by wildfires, and this year is no different. Florida has been battling the fires for the past week. Maxim magazine came out with its ‘Hot 100’ List: http://www.maxim.com/Girls/2008Hot100/slideshow/2463.aspx. At this point I don’t think I have to point out the obvious missing person! In case the thought of summer and bathing suits isn’t motivation enough to get your butt in the gym here’s your link for the week: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-565974/Pictured-The-fat-guinea-pig-thats-size-football--rest-worlds-overweight-pets.html.

I hope this gives you an idea of what's going on in the world. Buck up…it's not so bad! Brad and Angie are reproducing double-time, Hillary is still in it to win it, and you’re only 4 days away from a long weekend (hooray Memorial Day)! All is right with the world!

Now go and have an intellectually stimulating conversation with your neighbor about what you've just learned.

~t

T-Time Weekly News Update for the Week of May 6th-12th 2008

Do you work all day and have no time or energy to find out what's going on in the world? Do you get bored and impatient watching TV anchors tell you over and over what's going on? Do you sometimes care more about what Britney Spears is doing than what President Bush said during his State of the Union address? If you answered yes to even one of these questions this is what you've been waiting for! Every week I'm going to give you a quick rundown of the past week's biggest headlines. I won't bore you with minute details and shove tons of information down your throats. These are just the facts with a little humor for measure! And if you want to know more you can always just Google it or ask me.

Pop Go The Celebs:

Britney Spears has been laying low lately. I guess trying to prove you’re not crazy is hard work. Well her hard work is paying off cause she has taped her 2nd appearance on ‘How I Met Your Mother’. Here’s a sneak peek: http://youtube.com/user/howimetyourmother?ob=1. On an even higher note Ms. Spears attended another custody hearing and had her visitation rights expanded.

Lindsay Lohan hasn’t had much luck resurrecting her personal life or career after her multiple rehab stints. After a picture of the “actress” wearing a fur coat was published a girl went public that Lohan stole the coat from her. Apparently this isn’t the first time. Lindz also had some klepto tendencies during her 3rd stay in rehab where she stole from co-patients. Next time you go out and are missing something you know who to look for! Lohan’s mom, Dina, was actually just honored as one of Long Island’s Top Twenty Moms by an organization called ‘Mingling Moms’. Were they smoking crack?!? I could make a top twenty list as to why she’s the worst mom ever…her daughter has been in multiple car accidents, has entered rehab for drugs AND alcohol all before the tender age of 21, can’t be trusted with other peoples’ property, and now Dina is pimping out the younger kids on a reality show for the E! Channel.

In celeb justice: actress Uma Thurman can finally breathe a sigh of relief. The man accused of stalking her over the past couple of years was found guilty and could face up to a year behind bars. And Hulk Hogan’s son was sentenced to 8 months in jail and 5 years probation for a car accident that left his good friend in critical condition.

Around the World in 30 Seconds:

The Olympic torch continues its tour around the world. This past week it achieved what most humans have never done…the torch made its way to the top of Mount Everest. Ok…it wasn’t the actual torch but a special one that could stand up to the elements. It’s still quite an accomplishment!

Russia continues to pretend that it’s run as a democracy. The new president Dmitri Medvedev was sworn into office and “shockingly” chose the former president Vladimir Putin as the Prime Minister. How creative…if you can’t be president again just make the people vote for your pick and then have yourself chosen as basically 2nd in command.

Myanmar is still reeling from the devastating cyclone. The full damage is still uncertain, but the death toll is estimated to reach as high as 100,000. At first the government was refusing America’s help, but they’ve finally come to their senses and are allowing U.S. aid into their country.

Israel just turned 60 years old. Despite all the drama over the years the country has managed to not only survive but also prosper. Not sure how to celebrate? Falafel...duh!

Politics Potpourri:

Democratic presidential candidates Senator Barack Obama and Senator Hillary Clinton were really going at each other before the Indiana and North Carolina primaries. Clinton narrowly won Indiana, but lost North Carolina by a big 14 points. Although they each one, Clinton’s narrow win has increased talk about her dropping out. And more and more superdelegates are throwing their support behind Obama. But if I know the Clintons, and I almost feel like I do, they’ll have to physically remove a kicking and screaming Hillary. David Letterman is all over the presidential race. He had both Obama and Clinton on his show, on separate nights of course, to do his ‘Top 10’ List. Some parts were funny some not so much, but here are both clips for your enjoyment: http://youtube.com/watch?v=T9scCjieHWM / http://youtube.com/watch?v=vyzeqihfmhY. The wonderful Garden State was back in the news due to its quality politicians. Former NJ governor Jim McGreevey and his soon to be ex-wife Dina Matos McGreevey having been battling over the details of their divorce in court. The court happenings are being held private but I’m guessing it’s going something like this:
DM: I never knew you were gay. I was deceived. Give me your money.
JM: I don’t want to give you my money. I’m a gay American…leave me alone. Do you want me to bring up the threesome with the driver?
DM: Ok forget it. Just give me some of your money.
One of president Bush’s twin daughters got married this past Saturday. Instead of choosing to have a big blowout in the White House Jenna Bush and Henry Hager decided on a private and simple ceremony on her parents’ ranch in Crawford, Texas. Here are the officially released pics: http://abcnews.go.com/US/Springtime/popup?id=4832462&contentIndex=1&start=false&page=1. And yes, she will be taking his last name.

News Potpourri:

I'll leave you with some quick news tidbits that couldn't fit either here or there so they're getting their own paragraph! Monday, May 5h was a sad day for ice cream lovers. Irvine Robbins one of the co-founders of Baskin-Robbins ice cream died at the grand ol’ age of 90. I’m using his long life as inspiration and excuse to eat ice cream every day! Just when you thought you couldn’t care less about the happenings of ‘The Hills’ crew MTV announced that they are coming back for a 4th season. Woohoo…I can’t wait to see more Lauren/Heidi drama! The North Lauderdale City Commission is calling for Florida to split into 2 states, North and South Florida (very original). They claim it’s in the best interest of the citizens and residents of the Sunshine State, but I think that uptight North Florida is just sick of party-crazy South Florida. First Pluto is no longer a planet and now Florida is going to become 2 states!?! I can’t deal with all these changes. Both Tina Turner and Madonna have announced upcoming tours. Speaking from experience Queen M is an amazing performer so her tour is a must-see, and Turner is an icon who also puts on a high-energy show. I’ve already bookmarked Ticketmaster.com! In case you’re like T-Time who over-ordered checks and hence are still using snail-mail you may like to know that the price of stamps has gone up again to 42¢. ‘Iron Man’ continues to dominate the box office while ‘Speedracer’ crashed and burned. And in quite possibly the most exciting news of the week the ‘90210’ spinoff show is making more progress. Jennie Garth is coming back as Kelly Taylor, who is now a guidance counselor. And rumor has it that Tori Spelling will also be on the show. The only thing that would make this complete is the return of Brandon and Dylan!

I hope this gives you an idea of what's going on in the world. Buck up…it's not so bad! 90210 is coming back and Britney is normal enough to see her kids more! All is right with the world!

Now go and have an intellectually stimulating conversation with your neighbor about what you've just learned.

~t

T-Time Weekly News Update for the Week of April 29th–May 5th 2008

Do you work all day and have no time or energy to find out what's going on in the world? Do you get bored and impatient watching TV anchors tell you over and over what's going on? Do you sometimes care more about what Britney Spears is doing than what President Bush said during his State of the Union address? If you answered yes to even one of these questions this is what you've been waiting for! Every week I'm going to give you a quick rundown of the past week's biggest headlines. I won't bore you with minute details and shove tons of information down your throats. These are just the facts with a little humor for measure! And if you want to know more you can always just Google it or ask me.

Oprah:

It’s been a while since Oprah had her own section in T-Time…but the Queen has taken back her #1 spot just in time for Sweeps Week. Miss O had quite the exciting line up of guests this past week ranging from dare-devil record breakers to a Hollywood star in deep need of some good PR.

David Blaine decided to break another record on the Oprah show. Last time I checked the show was all about celebrities and women’s self-improvement, but I guess the boys need an excuse to watch as well. Blaine held his breath underwater for a record 17 minutes and 4 seconds…breaking the previous record of 16 minutes and 32 seconds.

The star cast of the sure-fire blockbuster ‘Sex and The City’ movie all took a seat on the famous couch. The movie doesn’t come out till May 30th, but the audience got to see the movie up to the last 20 minutes…top-secret stuff. They didn’t disclose anything too shocking. Kristin Davis is sweet and quiet, Cynthia Nixon is still a lesbian, Kim Cattrall dates younger men in real life, and SJP is still the most liked and most popular cast member of all. Reviews for the movie have been quite positive and every woman in the tri-state area is getting ready to Fandango like crazy.

Tom Cruise was back on with Oprah for the first time since his infamous couch-jumping incident. It was described as a “celebration of 25 years in film”, but really it was a mass pr attempt to salvage Cruise’s sinking image. Rumor has it he’ll be making ‘Mission Impossible 4’. Cruise did an intimate interview from his gorgeous Telluride, CO home trying to dispel any and all rumors and then did a follow up film retrospective on Oprah’s set. He did a decent job…for a hot second I almost thought he was normal. It’s hard to hold a grudge against the man who’s made classics like ‘Risky Business’ and ‘Cocktail’ (T-Time’s personal favorite).

Mariah Carey did what I truly thought she was too reasonable to do...she went and got married to “singer/actor” Nick Cannon in an impromptu ceremony down in the Bahamas after a mere 2 months of dating. What happened to learning from your mistakes? What happened to getting to know the person before you make ties that bond for life? She was on with Oprah on April 14th and even said how she was in no rush to get married. I’m chalking all of this to another Carey meltdown (2001 crazy moment that led to her hospitalization for ‘exhaustion’).

The Political Democratic Derby:

And the presidential campaign continues on its blazing path. Republican nominee John McCain continues to sit pretty while Dems rip one another apart. Democratic National Convention (DNC if you want to sound smart) Chairman Howard Dean (the same guy who yelped and lost his own chance at the presidency 4 years ago) is continuing to push for one of the Dem hopefuls to drop out by June so the party can have a smooth run for the office. But not everyone agrees with him and people want to see this fight play out till the bitter end. It’s Obama, Obama everywhere. At the recent Coachella music festival Roger Waters, of Pink Floyd royalty, closed the desert music festival with a few of his greatest hits. What does this have to do with politics you ask? Well during the song ‘Pig’ Waters unleashed a GIANT inflatable pig with all sorts of anti-establishment statements scrawled all over including ‘Obama’ and a checked ballot sign next to it on the belly. I guess the pig wanted to spread his message cause he got loose and was floating around aimlessly for days. And earlier in Waters’ set a plane overhead dropped “Obama confetti” on top of the crowd. Obama also got a major celeb endorsement from Tom Hanks…check out his self-made video: http://youtube.com/watch?v=68CKnirCxak. Hillary tried to prove that she’s just like everybody else and could get her own coffee…watch what happens: http://youtube.com/watch?v=-C9bkuJliMY&feature=related.

News Potpourri:

I'll leave you with some quick news tidbits that couldn't fit either here or there so they're getting their own paragraph! Apparently blondes don’t have all the fun cause another posthumous sex tape is making its way to your local video store’s backroom starring non other than rock legend Jimi Hendrix. His people say it’s a fake but Vivid Entertainment begs to differ. People Magazine came out with its annual ‘100 Most Beautiful People’ issue… http://www.people.com/people/package/gallery/0,,20193583_20196426,00.html, and again T-Time was overlooked! I’m beginning to think this is a conspiracy. Speaking of beautiful people-actress Scarlett Johansson and actor Ryan Reynolds just announced their engagement. America is +1 now that Pam Anderson has officially become a U.S. citizen. Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt have landed in France presumably to give birth to the 2nd most beautiful baby in the world. On a tragic note a cyclone hit and devastated the Southeast Asian country of Myanmar (in case you don’t know where it is: http://eldib.files.wordpress.com/2007/10/myanmar.jpg). As of now the death toll could be as high as 10,000. Kobe Bryant will be named the NBA’s MVP for the first time in his very successful career. In other big sports news Big Brown won the Kentucky Derby this past Saturday. Mother’s Day is coming up this Sunday, May 11th. In case you’re not sure what to get your mom this year here’s a great idea: http://perezhilton.com/2008-04-16-the-next-bestseller-in-la. If plastic surgery isn’t her cup o’ tea then maybe a memoir? TV legend Barbara Walters is finally coming out with her memoir, ‘Auditions’. In the book she gets super personal…even admitting to an affair with a married senator during the ‘70s. And here’s your video of the week: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nrlSkU0TFLs.

I hope this gives you an idea of what's going on in the world. Buck up…it's not so bad! The week began on a serious note…May 1st was officially Holocaust Remembrance Day. I hope everyone took a moment to reflect on that dark time in history. But the week is ending with Cinco de Mayo…so have a margarita, shake some maracas and be happy for all the good around you!

Now go and have an intellectually stimulating conversation with your neighbor about what you've just learned.

~t

You can also check this out on my official blog at http://ttimeupdate.blogspot.com/.