Do you work all day and have no time or energy to find out what's going on in the world? Do you get bored and impatient watching TV anchors tell you over and over what's going on? Do you sometimes care more about what Britney Spears is doing than what President Bush said during his State of the Union address? If you answered yes to even one of these questions this is what you've been waiting for! Every week I'm going to give you a quick rundown of the past week's biggest headlines. I won't bore you with minute details and shove tons of information down your throats. These are just the facts with a little humor for measure! And if you want to know more you can always just Google it or ask me.
The Young, The Old, The Beautiful:
Hugh Hefner proved that age is but a number when he celebrated his 82nd birthday like the true pimp that he is (Pam Anderson sang Happy Birthday to him in her own birthday suit!)! I guess the Beyonce/Jay Z wedding spread a cloud of love over celebridom because Sean Penn and his wife Robin Wright Penn have called off their divorce and are trying to work things out. Another relationship blossomed as well…Ashlee Simpson, Jessica’s younger sister, and Pete Wentz, heavily eye-lined guitarist from Fall Out Boy announced their engagement. Rumor has it she’s pregnant hence the shotgun wedding, but until I see a baby-bump I don’t believe the rumors. Ivana Trump, the Don’s first ex-wife, has married for the 4th time. The groom, Rossano Rubicondi, is 23 years her junior and is an “actor/model” or as some would say “fame-whoring gold-digger”. The White House Press Correspondents Association Dinner will be held on April 26th. Among the guests are respected politicians and journalists…oh and I forgot to mention Pam Anderson and Hills’ star Lauren Conrad…hopefully Pammie will cover up for this event! Although it seemed like Britney Spears was getting her act together she managed to get in a little trouble again. She was involved in a 3-car accident. Luckily no one was hurt, and it seems to have truly just been an accident. Ever wonder how much your fave celebs make? Check it out: http://www.usmagazine.com/How-Much-Money-Did-Miley-Cyrus-Earn-in-2007.
Spin the Globe:
What’s a little update without some international flava? The Venezuelan government, led by “fair and even-minded” President Hugo Chavez has decided to ban the cartoon “The Simpsons”. Officials consider it inappropriate for children so instead they will be airing reruns of “Baywatch Hawaii”…no joke! The Olympic torch may have survived its tour through San Francisco despite hundreds of protestors, but Olympics athletes in China are still forbidden from displaying the Tibetan flag during the games, even in the privacy of their rooms, because that falls under China’s government’s anti-propaganda laws. England’s Prince William received his Royal Air Force (RAF) “Wings”. Part of becoming nominal commander in chief a.k.a. King is training in all the military fields (I think America should take a cue from the motherland) so next up is the Navy. The Dalai Lama has been traveling and speaking throughout the U.S. but proved that he is only human by oversleeping for a meeting. ‘Where was his alarm clock?’ you may ask. He doesn’t own one because he doesn’t believe in owning too many material things. I’m quite impressed, but if I were the leader of a nation I would at least invest in one clock or have someone wake my butt up when needed. Italy has a new, scratch that, the same Prime Minister for the 3rd time in a row. Media mogul Silvio Berlusconi won yet again. He basically owns all the media throughout the country so this doesn’t come as much of a shock.
Political Merri-Go-Round:
Politics and the presidential race have continued to make headlines. Even Vice President Dick Cheney got in the action. After a picture of him fishing was posted online some conspiracy theorists claimed to see the image of a naked woman reflected in his sunglasses. I’m sorry to disappoint but it was just his hand holding the fishing rod. Take a look for yourselves: http://politicalhumor.about.com/od/funnypictures/ig/Funny-Pictures-of-the-Week/Cheney-Sunglasses-Close-Up.htm. Democratic candidate Hillary Clinton got some love from Elton John. Elton performed at a fundraiser and helped her raise $2.5 million. Clinton and fellow Democratic candidate Barack Obama have been going at each other trying to win Pennsylvania’s support. So far Clinton is leading. Clinton and Republican candidate John McCain attacked Obama for being too elitist for his comments regarding Pennsylvania’s working middle class. Obama called Clinton out on her stories of shooting with her dad and pictures of her drinking a beer and taking shots (seemingly trying to fit in with the people). Instead of taking their anger and aggression out on one another the should try this: http://www.therightfoot.net/mystuff/whatever/swf/bubblewrap.swf.
News Potpourri:
I'll leave you with some quick news tidbits that couldn't fit either here or there so they're getting their own paragraph! The release date for Tom Cruise’s new movie ‘Valkyrie’ has been delayed yet again. That’s never a good sign. I bet he regrets all the couch jumping now! George Clooney didn’t feel any movie love either. His new film ‘Leatherheads’ bombed at the box office. I guess the TV show ‘E.R.’ is feeling sympathy pains for Clooney cause it was announced that the series will be ending next year after 15 seasons. American Airlines has cancelled over 3,000 flights over the past week due to necessary safety inspections on their planes. Airports across the country were filled with even angrier than normal travelers. Disgraced Olympic runner Marion Jones not only shamed herself but also has now shamed her relay team members. She was forced to return her gold medals after she was caught lying about using steroids, and now her team members must return their medals as well. Here she comes Miss America. Well actually it’s Miss USA (the one Trump owns), and the winner is Miss Texas-Crystle Stewart. ‘Full House’ star Jodie Sweetin (Stephanie) gave birth to her first child, a baby girl, and Oscar-winning actress Cate Blanchett gave birth to her 3rd son. ‘Project Runway’ is leaving Bravo and moving to Lifetime…make sure your DVRs are updated when the next season begins. In case you were wondering why all of young Hollywood seems to have a sex-tape you can blame it on some older icons. A Marilyn Monroe sex tape, from before she became a star, has just been sold to a N.Y. businessman for $1.5 million. And here’s your video of the week: http://perezhilton.com/tv/?videoid=074962aab6723.
I hope this gives you an idea of what's going on in the world. Buck up…it's not so bad! Earth Day is only a week away (April 22nd) and Ivana Trump has finally found true love! All is right with the world!
Now go and have an intellectually stimulating conversation with your neighbor about what you've just learned.
~t
1 comment:
That's a wonderful looking drawing.
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