T-Time Weekly News Update for the Week of Decembeer 9th-15th 2007

T-Time
Weekly News Update for the Week of December 9th- 15th 2007

Do you work all day and have no time or energy to find out what’s going on in the world? Do you get bored and impatient watching TV anchors tell you over and over what’s going on? Do you sometimes care more about what Britney Spears is doing than what President Bush said during his State of the Union address? If you answered yes to even one of these questions this is what you’ve been waiting for! Every week I’m going to give you a quick rundown of the past week’s biggest headlines. I won’t bore you with minute details and shove tons of information down your throats. These are just the facts with a little humor for measure! And if you want to know more you can always just Google it or ask me.

Nobel Prize…something I highly doubt I’ll ever receive:
The Nobel Prize Award Ceremony was, as tradition, held on December 10th, the anniversary of Alfred Nobel's death, in Oslo, Norway. Although the winners have already been announced, they officially received them on this day. In attendance were Al Gore, Rajendra Pachauri, Gerhard Ertl, Doris Lessing…I’m not going to bother naming everyone cause honestly you did not, do not, and will not know who these people are. But you should be thankful for them…they’re the great minds of our time. Sure there were geniuses abound, but the celebrities and celebrity performers stole the show. So typical…the nerds are outshone by the cool kids! In an attempt to up the ‘cool factor’ of the Nobel Prize, organizers brought in Al Gore (yeah I did it…what’s a story about Al Gore without a really bad global warming joke?!), Uma Thurman, Kevin Spacey, Alicia Keys, Annie Lennox, Melissa Etheridge and Kylie Minogue. Alicia did her part by wearing a skin-tight catsuit while performing, Kylie did hers by wearing some hot pants and singing some dance songs, and Uma…well Uma just dressed up and smiled.

Pop Train Wrecks:
Britney didn’t show up to her court deposition for her on-going custody battle with ex Kevin Federline. Her creepy assistant/manager Sam Lufti said that she saw the paparazzi outside her window and her anxiety took over. She sees the paparazzi every day! She tells them where she’s going so they can follow her and changes her outfit multiple times so they gets tons of different shots of her. Her anxiety doesn’t seem to be a problem on the road, in bars, at truck stops, etc. Can’t the Judge see what’s going on? She obviously doesn’t want her kids. She can’t come right out and say it so she’s doing everything in her power to lose custody. The woman didn’t bother to show to her own deposition. You can’t hide from the law darling…look at your buddy Paris. And if Britney isn’t enough bleach-blonde white trash celebrity gossip for you then I have some old school flavor coming your way. Anna Nicole Smith is back in the news. Two separate autopsies have revealed that (shocker) her son Daniel died of a lethal combination of methadone along with the antidepressants Lexapro and Zoloft. I can’t imagine that this comes as a surprise to anyone. The poor kid’s mom was Anna, and “surrogate step-dad” was Howard K. Stern. You would try to numb the pain too.

America’s Pastime:
The steroid scandal plaguing the MLB was amped up 100% by the Mitchell Report. Former Senator George Mitchell completed a 409-page report naming 88 players, both past and present, including seven MVPs who are apparently guilty of using steroids, human growth hormones, the juice, etc. This is some intense stuff…not your average high school book report. The report also concludes with four appendixes, including copied checks and FedEx receipts. Mitchell describes each player’s steroid use. He even describes how he tried contacting each player named so they could defend themselves, but only Jason Giambi spoke with him. I guess when you’re guilty it’s easier to stay silent than try to not accidentally admit to anything. Aside from the already troubled Barry Bonds, Yankees pitchers Roger Clemens and Andy Pettitte, Met Paul Lo Duca, former Yankees Kevin Brown, Mike Stanton, Rondell White, Glenallen Hill, Chuck Knoblauch and David Justice, and many others were implicated in the report.

And the award goes to…:
The award season continues with the Golden Globe nominations. The Golden Globes honor both film and television, and the awards ceremony will be held Sunday, January 13, 2008. The Hollywood Foreign Press has picked the crème de la crème of Hollywood stars to represent their award ceremony. A not-so-talented Hayden Panettiere, a very twitchy Quentin Tarantino, Dane Cook (why was he even there?!?) and Ryan Reynolds (of ‘Blade’ fame) announced the nominees. And Rumer Willis, daughter of Bruce Willis and Demi Moore, was officially named Miss Globe. This year the pool of talent is so deep that instead of the usual 5, 7 movies were nominated for best dramatic picture. But the most exciting part will be to see if the Golden Globes even air. The writer’s strike strikes again. Some stars have said that they would never cross the picket line, but I bet they’ll all be there. Everyone likes to get dressed up and told that they’re amazing! Here are the categories that people and artists really care about. I’ve bolded who I think will win. Steven Spielberg will be receiving the top honor, the Cecil B. DeMille Award. If you haven’t seen some of these movies/TV shows now is the time to check them out since no new TV is coming your way any time soon (damn those striking writers!).

Best Picture-Drama:
‘American Gangster’
‘Atonement’
‘Eastern Promises’
‘The Great Debaters’
‘Michael Clayton’
‘No Country for Old Men’ (this film has been getting rave reviews on all fronts)
‘There Will Be Blood’

Best Actor-Drama:
George Clooney ‘Michael Clayton’
Daniel Day-Lewis ‘There Will Be Blood’
James McAvoy ‘Atonement’
Viggo Mortensen ‘Eastern Promises’
Denzel Washington ‘American Gangster’ (he’s always a favorite and the strongest actor of the bunch)

Best Actress-Drama:
Cate Blanchett ‘Elizabeth: The Golden Age’
Julie Christie ‘Away from Her’ (the Foreign Press tends to honor the elders)
Jodie Foster ‘The Brave One’
Angelina Jolie ‘A Might Heart’
Keira Knightley ‘Atonement’

Best Picture-Musical/Comedy:
‘Across the Universe’ (not a definite; but this was an amazing movie)
‘Charlie Wilson’s War’
‘Hairspray’
‘Juno’
‘Sweeney Todd’

Best Actor-Musical/Comedy:
Johnny Depp ‘Sweeney Todd’
Ryan Gosling ‘Lars and the Real Girl’
Tom Hanks ‘Charlie Wilson’s War’ (when has Tom Hanks not won?!? Seriously no competition)
Philip Seymour Hoffman ‘The Savages’
John C. Reilly ‘Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story’

Best Actress-Musical/Comedy:
Amy Adams ‘Enchanted’
Nikki Blonsky ‘Hairspray’
Helena Bonham Carter ‘Sweeney Todd’
Marion Cotillard ‘La Vie En Rose’
Ellen Page ‘Juno’ (she’s new, young, and sharp…all the movie buzz is about her)

Best Television Drama:
‘Big Love’
‘Damages’
‘Grey’s Anatomy’ (they’re on a roll)
‘House’
‘Mad Men’
‘The Tudors’

Best Television Musical/Comedy:
’30 Rock’
‘Californication’
‘Entourage’
‘Pushing Daisies’ (this is new but funny, creative, and refreshingly unique)
‘Extras’

News Potpourri:
I’ll leave you with some quick news tidbits that couldn’t fit either here or there so they’re getting their own paragraph! The Hills are alive with the sound of being picked up. Long live MTV reality programming. After a lackluster finale Lauren “LC” Conrad announced that the show would indeed continue. My DVR is crying tears of joy. Madonna has been nominated to enter the Rock ‘n’ Roll Hall of Fame. Nothing bad to say about that…she’s a goddess. Although she is more pop than rock. Ike Turner, famous for beating his ex-wife Tina Turner, died at the age of 76. He complained that his music genius was overshadowed by the stories of his violent past. Maybe if he had stopped beating women people would have actually listened to his music. Jessica Alba is slowly realizing that she can’t act and her career is basically done. So in celebration she and her nobody of a boyfriend, Cash Warren, announced that they’re expecting. Jeopardy’s Alex Trebek suffered a minor heart attack early last week. But he has been released from the hospital and is recuperating. He issued a statement all in question form: What is “I'm truly overwhelmed by the great show of support and compassion expressed in the past few days to me, my family and my coworkers?” Celine Dion performed her final show in Las Vegas after a 5-year run. No worries…she’ll be chest thumping and over-emoting across the world while on tour to promote her new album.

I hope this gives you an idea of what’s going on in the world. Buck up…it’s not so bad! I mean…Al Gore finally won his consolation prize and Jeopardy will not/cannot be stopped by a mere heart attack. All is right with the world!

Now go and have an intellectually stimulating conversation with your neighbor about what you’ve just learned.

Corrections to last week’s T-Time: It was brought to my attention by everyone and their mother that Kathryn Heigl starred in Knocked Up not Superbad. My bad.

~t

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