T-Time
Weekly News Update for the Week of December 16th- 24th 2007
Do you work all day and have no time or energy to find out what's going on in the world? Do you get bored and impatient watching TV anchors tell you over and over what's going on? Do you sometimes care more about what Britney Spears is doing than what President Bush said during his State of the Union address? If you answered yes to even one of these questions this is what you've been waiting for! Every week I'm going to give you a quick rundown of the past week's biggest headlines. I won't bore you with minute details and shove tons of information down your throats. These are just the facts with a little humor for measure! And if you want to know more you can always just Google it or ask me.
She’s Pregnant Y’All!:
How could I not start this week’s T-Time by mentioning Jamie Lynn Spears’ pregnancy? Nothing says high-class like being born into the Spears family. Jamie Lynn is a mature woman in a long-term relationship. By mature I mean 16 years old and by long-term I mean on and off for 2 years (she almost makes Britney look normal for waiting till her mid-twenties to get married, having kids and then abandoning them all…I stress ‘almost’). Jamie Lynn has decided to keep the baby because it’s the moral and Christian thing to do. I love that morals kicked in after the fact. And to add yet another level of classiness to the situation Jamie Lynn decided to announce this to the world through OK! Magazine. Britney was the last to know and celebrated by going out, shopping, drinking etc. Why would she care about Jamie’s future child if she doesn’t even care about her own? But before Jamie can worry about her unborn child she has to reevaluate her definitely-not-going-anywhere-soon career and Nickelodeon show ‘Zoey 101’ Nickelodeon put out a statement saying they support and respect Jamie Lynn…loosely translated: we support her pregnancy, but we’re definitely going to cancel her show! In response to the news Nickelodeon is considering doing a teen pregnancy special. Their target audience is kids between the age of 2 and 11. What do 2 year-olds need to know about sex and teen pregnancy?!? In case you’re a little depressed after reading this check out this link (it’s hysterical!)… http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y8baqly5cVI
And the award may not go to…:
That damn writers strike keeps on going like that stupid Energizer bunny. CBS cancelled the People’s Choice Awards. The Writers Guild Association (WGA) won’t allow the awards shows to use guild writers, clips from previous ceremonies that were written by guild writers, etc. Now the presenters will have to come up with their own lame-joke intros. I don’t really see the problem. Could the jokes be any worse than they normally are? Comedy writers aren’t allowed to prepare material for the Golden Globes on NBC. The Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences, a.k.a. the Oscars, also got declined by the WGA when they asked to use clips from motion pictures and past Oscar shows during the February event. The verdict is still out on whether Jon Stewart will be have written material for when he hosts the Oscars. Hopefully this whole strike can be resolved soon. I don’t know how much more I can take…no new shows and cancelled awards show…it’s the end of the world as we know it!!!
No One Wants to Be Jessica Simpson:
Jessica shot to fame playing a dumb blonde, newlywed on MTV. The girl is naturally pretty and can actually sing, so obviously she couldn’t possibly make it big the normal way. After dumping her husband, Nick Lachey, after thinking that her career was really going to take off (talk about biggest mistake EVER!), her career and public image have plummeted. She is now dating Tony Romo, the star quarterback for the Dallas Cowboys. Things seem to be looking up, right? Nope. She exudes so much bad luck that Romo played his worst game ever when she was in the stands cheering. A website called “Ruin Romo” is asking people to upload pictures of Jessica Simpson as masks for people to wear. Their goal is to get as many people as possible to print out the cutout of Jessica and wear the masks to the games. If that wasn’t bad enough Simpson's new film, Blonde Ambition, ran in only 8 theaters in Texas (instead of going straight to DVD which would have been the better decision). Blonde Ambition premiered with a total box office of $384. $384 on opening weekend?!? I make more than that in a week! Blonde Ambition will be taken out of its misery and will be released on DVD in January. Simpson's next movie, Major Movie Star, is expected to go straight to DVD as well.
Weekly News Update for the Week of December 16th- 24th 2007
Do you work all day and have no time or energy to find out what's going on in the world? Do you get bored and impatient watching TV anchors tell you over and over what's going on? Do you sometimes care more about what Britney Spears is doing than what President Bush said during his State of the Union address? If you answered yes to even one of these questions this is what you've been waiting for! Every week I'm going to give you a quick rundown of the past week's biggest headlines. I won't bore you with minute details and shove tons of information down your throats. These are just the facts with a little humor for measure! And if you want to know more you can always just Google it or ask me.
She’s Pregnant Y’All!:
How could I not start this week’s T-Time by mentioning Jamie Lynn Spears’ pregnancy? Nothing says high-class like being born into the Spears family. Jamie Lynn is a mature woman in a long-term relationship. By mature I mean 16 years old and by long-term I mean on and off for 2 years (she almost makes Britney look normal for waiting till her mid-twenties to get married, having kids and then abandoning them all…I stress ‘almost’). Jamie Lynn has decided to keep the baby because it’s the moral and Christian thing to do. I love that morals kicked in after the fact. And to add yet another level of classiness to the situation Jamie Lynn decided to announce this to the world through OK! Magazine. Britney was the last to know and celebrated by going out, shopping, drinking etc. Why would she care about Jamie’s future child if she doesn’t even care about her own? But before Jamie can worry about her unborn child she has to reevaluate her definitely-not-going-anywhere-soon career and Nickelodeon show ‘Zoey 101’ Nickelodeon put out a statement saying they support and respect Jamie Lynn…loosely translated: we support her pregnancy, but we’re definitely going to cancel her show! In response to the news Nickelodeon is considering doing a teen pregnancy special. Their target audience is kids between the age of 2 and 11. What do 2 year-olds need to know about sex and teen pregnancy?!? In case you’re a little depressed after reading this check out this link (it’s hysterical!)… http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y8baqly5cVI
And the award may not go to…:
That damn writers strike keeps on going like that stupid Energizer bunny. CBS cancelled the People’s Choice Awards. The Writers Guild Association (WGA) won’t allow the awards shows to use guild writers, clips from previous ceremonies that were written by guild writers, etc. Now the presenters will have to come up with their own lame-joke intros. I don’t really see the problem. Could the jokes be any worse than they normally are? Comedy writers aren’t allowed to prepare material for the Golden Globes on NBC. The Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences, a.k.a. the Oscars, also got declined by the WGA when they asked to use clips from motion pictures and past Oscar shows during the February event. The verdict is still out on whether Jon Stewart will be have written material for when he hosts the Oscars. Hopefully this whole strike can be resolved soon. I don’t know how much more I can take…no new shows and cancelled awards show…it’s the end of the world as we know it!!!
No One Wants to Be Jessica Simpson:
Jessica shot to fame playing a dumb blonde, newlywed on MTV. The girl is naturally pretty and can actually sing, so obviously she couldn’t possibly make it big the normal way. After dumping her husband, Nick Lachey, after thinking that her career was really going to take off (talk about biggest mistake EVER!), her career and public image have plummeted. She is now dating Tony Romo, the star quarterback for the Dallas Cowboys. Things seem to be looking up, right? Nope. She exudes so much bad luck that Romo played his worst game ever when she was in the stands cheering. A website called “Ruin Romo” is asking people to upload pictures of Jessica Simpson as masks for people to wear. Their goal is to get as many people as possible to print out the cutout of Jessica and wear the masks to the games. If that wasn’t bad enough Simpson's new film, Blonde Ambition, ran in only 8 theaters in Texas (instead of going straight to DVD which would have been the better decision). Blonde Ambition premiered with a total box office of $384. $384 on opening weekend?!? I make more than that in a week! Blonde Ambition will be taken out of its misery and will be released on DVD in January. Simpson's next movie, Major Movie Star, is expected to go straight to DVD as well.
And the award goes to…:
Continuing with my comprehensive coverage of all that is award ceremonies I bring you the Screen Actors Guild Nominees (SAG as we in the industry refer to them :p) Unlike the Foreign Press, the Guild was able to get a higher caliber of actors to announce the nominees. Terrence Howard and Jeanne Tripplehorn announced the nominees for the 14th Annual Screen Actors Guild Awards, with the winners to be revealed Sunday, January 27th, 2008. But like the Golden Globes, SAG honors both television and movies. Here are the categories that people and artists really care about. I've bolded who I think will win.
Outstanding Ensemble, Drama Series:
Boston Legal
The Closer
Grey’s Anatomy
Mad Men
The Sopranos (this is the last year they can be nominated, and they’ve always been award darlings)
Outstanding Ensemble, Comedy Series:
30 Rock
Desperate Housewives
Entourage
The Office
Ugly Betty (they’re pretty strong and have a huge following, plus America Ferrara is everyone’s favorite starlet)
Outstanding Performance by a Male Actor in a Leading Role:
George Clooney (Michael Clayton)
Daniel Day-Lewis (There Will Be Blood)
Ryan Gosling (Lars And The Real Girl)
Emile Hirsch (Into The Wild) (he’s young and super talented, Sean Penn directed him, and this was a huge hit with critics)
Viggo Mortensen (Eastern Promises)
Outstanding Performance by a Female Actor in a Leading Role:
Cate Blanchett (Elizabeth: The Golden Age
Julie Christie (Away From Her)
Marion Cotillard (La Vie En Rose)
Angelina Jolie (A Mighty Heart)
Ellen Page (Juno) (what’s an awards season without a breakout young star?!? She has the best chance)
Outstanding Performance by a Cast in a Motion Picture:
3:10 to Yuma (Christian Bale, Russell Crowe, Peter Fonda, Gretchen Mol, Dallas Roberts, Vinessa Shaw, Ben Foster, Alan Tudyk, Logan Lerman)
American Gangster (Armand Assante, Josh Brolin, Russell Crowe, Ruby Dee, Chiwetel Ejiofor, Idris Elba, Cuba Gooding Jr., Carla Gugino, John Hawkes, Ted Levine, Joe Morton, Lymari Nadal, John Ortiz, RZA, Yul Vasquez, Denzel Washington)
Hairspray (Nikki Blonsky, Amanda Bynes, Paul Dooley, Zac Efron, Allison Janney, Elijah Kelley, James Marsden, Michelle Pfeiffer, Queen Latifah, Brittany Snow, Jerry Stiller, John Travolta, Christopher Walken)
Into the Wild (Brian Dierker, Marcia Gay Harden, Emile Hirsch, Hal Holbrook, William Hurt, Catherine Keener, Jena Malone, Kristen Stewart, Vince Vaughn)
No Country for Old Men (Javier Bardem, Josh Brolin, Garrett Dillahunt, Tess Harper, Woody Harrelson, Tommy Lee Jones, Kelly Macdonald) (this movie was everyone’s favorite. Javier Bardem’s role as a crazy killer is being likened to Hannibal Lector and Josh Brolin is getting the best reviews of his career)
News Potpourri:
I'll leave you with some quick news tidbits that couldn't fit either here or there so they're getting their own paragraph! Pamela Anderson announced that she was divorcing her 3rd husband, Rick Solomon, after about 3 months of marriage. This would be her 3rd divorce, 2nd in 2007…very impressive. But after posting the news on her blog, the only appropriate thing to do during a divorce, she posted a new blog saying that they’re working things out. Good luck with this marriage Pammie! Will Smith continues to rule the box office. I Am Legend opened up in the first spot. He doesn’t even have to try and his movies open up in the #1 spot. Michael Douglas is the new announcer for the NBC Nightly News. Is he that desperate for work? And can NBC really afford to pay a Hollywood star? Their primetime lineup is weakest of the bunch. The Natalee Holloway case is officially closed. After years of trying to build evidence against 3 young guys, nothing can truly be proven and there’s no body…so that’s the end of that. Queen Latifah is the new spokeswoman for Jenny Craig. This will definitely be the end of the super cheesy, hyped-up ads that Kirstie Alley and Valerie Bertinelli have been putting out. And finally Russia’s president, Vladimir Putin, was named Time Magazine’s Person of the Year. Time editors did say that “the choice is not an honor, rather the selection goes to the person who has most profoundly influenced the world during the past year, for better or for worse" (fyi…Stalin and Hitler are previous winners). Britney has profoundly influenced the world…how come she didn’t win?
I hope this gives you an idea of what's going on in the world. Buck up…it's not so bad! I mean…Jessica Simpson has worse luck than you and the Spears clan is multiplying like rabbits. All is right with the world!
Now go and have an intellectually stimulating conversation with your neighbor about what you've just learned.
~t
You can also check this out on www.myspace.com/tgitt or on my new, official blog http://ttimeupdate.blogspot.com/
1 comment:
i was gonna suggest you blog this, glad you did it :) will i be seeing you this weekend?!
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