T-Time Weekly News Update for the Week of August 4th-11th 2008

Do you work all day and have no time or energy to find out what's going on in the world? Do you get bored and impatient watching TV anchors tell you over and over what's going on? Do you sometimes care more about what Britney Spears is doing than what President Bush said during his State of the Union address? If you answered yes to even one of these questions this is what you've been waiting for! Every week I'm going to give you a quick rundown of the past week's biggest headlines. I won't bore you with minute details and shove tons of information down your throats. These are just the facts with a little humor for measure! And if you want to know more you can always just Google it or ask me.

Batman and Babies:

Batman’s The Dark Knight has been full of good and bad. Although it continues to be #1 in the box office and rake in millions of millions of dollars ($400M in only 18 days), the movie seems to be developing a curse. Morgan Freeman was in a very serious car accident earlier in the week. He has since been released from the hospital and seems to be recovering well. Christian Bale was arrested for assaulting his mother and sister. And the biggest story has been Heath Ledger’s death. In case you don’t remember Ledger’s masseuse found him lying dead in his bed but instead of calling the cops, she called Mary Kate Olsen. Well the Feds tried to subpoena Olsen so she would testify as to where Ledger got his prescription drugs illegally. But she refused to talk without the promise of immunity…shady much? What does she have to hide? Well it doesn’t matter any more cause the case is closed, and his death ruled an accidental overdose.

Lisa Marie Presley, the King’s daughter, is having twins. Little known fact…Elvis was a twin, but his older brother died shortly after birth. Porn star, excuse me ex-porn star, Jenna Jameson is expecting her first child with boyfriend and Ultimate Fighting champ Tito Ortiz. Who’s not expecting? Jennifer Aniston. According to her rep, Aniston and her man John Mayer are not having a baby and are not getting married. Don’t believe all you read…unless it’s on T-Time.

This week we lost 2 great talents. Comedian/actor Bernie Mac died at the young age of 50 due to complications from pneumonia. Grammy and Oscar winning musician and the voice of the Chef from South Park, Isaac Hayes, also passed away. He was 65 years old, but the cause is still unknown (he was found next to his treadmill).

86 Days and Counting:

Senator John McCain’s “celeb” video was quite controversial. But no one expected Paris Hilton, one of the ad’s stars to react like this: http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/64ad536a6d. I never thought I’d utter the words, “Paris for President, Bitches”. McCain has yet to name his VP, but CT Senator Joe Lieberman seems to have taken the lead.

Senator Barack Obama had plenty of reasons to celebrate this past week. Monday, August 4th was his 47th birthday (the 4th also being T’s bday…lest you forget). And how did the presidential candidate celebrate? By boozing it up, dancing on top of a bar? Nope…he gave a speech on his energy policy. You don’t need to feel too bad for him though cause now he’s getting some R&R on his fave island, Hawaii. He is said to be announcing his VP pick some time soon, and he’ll be doing it via text message and/or email for any supporters to sign up to receive the info.

Still don’t know who to vote for? Maybe the candidates’ musical tastes will help you out: http://www.blender.com/WhiteHouseDJBattle/articles/39518.aspx

Ex-presidential hopeful Senator John Edwards is in, what we writers like to call, deep doodoo. Edwards has finally admitted to having an affair with Rielle Hunter back in 2006 but claims to not be the father of her child. What about his terminally ill wife Elizabeth? Well her cancer was in remission at the time, so it wasn’t as bad. One of the sweethearts of the Democratic Party has solidified his exit from the political ring. Hillary Clinton’s advisor blames Edwards for her loss. If this news had broken before the Iowa caucuses she could have possibly had the nod.

What you didn’t register/re-register to vote yet? Must have slipped your mind…I’m sure. www.rockthevote.com. T-Time did it and so should you! You know I’m not the only one trying to spread the message of voting. Gwyneth Paltrow has something to say for all you expats: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=amukRM9SSoo.

Want to See My ‘O’ Face?:

The Olympics are in full swing. The opening ceremony was unlike any other and will probably not be topped for quite some time…I recommend watching it if you can. This year’s games are the most watched in history. There have been victories, defeats, and even tragedies.

Michael Phelps is 3 gold medals in to his record-breaking 8 gold medal goal. He continues to live up to his reputation and beyond out swim his competition. The US men’s basketball team defeated China to continue their run for the elusive gold. The US girl’s gymnastics team hasn’t had the greatest of starts, but they still have a chance to rock it in the finals vs. China. And apparently Brad Pitt has gotten into the action…Australian boxer Brad Pitt that is. http://cache.viewimages.com/xc/53268668.jpg?v=1&c=ViewImages&k=2&d=17A4AD9FDB9CF193CC300C081D9F470011A28E6489F82C4896EE826B3DFDDB90A55A1E4F32AD3138. I would totally watch these 2 duke it out.

Currently the US is in 1st place for total amount of medals won with 19 followed by China with 14 and Korea with 9. You can check for yourself here: http://results.beijing2008.cn/WRM/ENG/INF/GL/95A/GL0000000.shtml.a

Unfortunately tragedy struck on day 1 of the games when US volleyball coach, Hugh McCutcheon’s father-in-law, Todd Bachman, was stabbed to death in the streets of Beijing for no apparent reason (Bachman’s wife and tour guide were injured but survived). The attacker then killed himself by jumping off a building. Not one of the more pleasant ways to open up the games.

News Potpourri:

I'll leave you with some quick news tidbits that couldn't fit either here or there so they're getting their own paragraph! After all the dramz Brett Favre was reinstated and then traded to the NY Jets. F-A-V-R-E…FAVRE, FAVRE, FAVRE! Speaking of football…Bruce Springsteen will be the half-time performer at next year’s Super Bowl. The Feds believe they caught the Anthrax killer, army scientist Bruce Ivans. Unexpectedly Ivans killed himself before they could get to him. Playgirl Magazine will cease publishing its monthly mag and will be solely online. I can’t imagine that the demand for naked, beefcake men is so low. Utah state employees will begin working a 4-day workweek in an effort to cut energy costs, and T-Time will be moving out there shortly. Russia and Georgia (the country not the state) are heavily fighting over a piece of land called South Ossetia. This is a serious world issue that could potentially pin nations against one another...so T-Time will be on top of it. The Emmys announced who will be designing the show’s gown. Ralph Lauren? Carolina Herrera? No…Lauren Conrad (yes…of The Hills fame). Ever had a snake stuck in your pants (seriously)? No? Well here’s your video of the week: http://www.cnn.com/video/#/video/us/2008/08/08/natsot.ia.snake.in.pants.kcci.

I hope this gives you an idea of what's going on in the world. Buck up…it's not so bad! The US is rocking the Olympics and John Edwards admitted to being a cheat! All is right with the world!

Now go and have an intellectually stimulating conversation with your neighbor about what you've just learned.

~t