T-Time
Weekly News Update for the Week of August 12th-18th 2008
Weekly News Update for the Week of August 12th-18th 2008
Do you work all day and have no time or energy to find out what's going on in the world? Do you get bored and impatient watching TV anchors tell you over and over what's going on? Do you sometimes care more about what Britney Spears is doing than what President Bush said during his State of the Union address? If you answered yes to even one of these questions this is what you've been waiting for! Every week I'm going to give you a quick rundown of the past week's biggest headlines. I won't bore you with minute details and shove tons of information down your throats. These are just the facts with a little humor for measure! And if you want to know more you can always just Google it or ask me.
* Editor's note: In a wave of excitement and birthday joy, I forgot to mention a very important addition to our world. Baby Judah Asher Portnoy (the cutest baby ever according to T-Time) was born August 1st to momma Lindsay, dad Gary, lots of other legit relatives, and "auntie t".
Stars and Hearts:
Want to See My 'O' Face?:
Can you feel the love? Ellen DeGeneres and Portia de Rossi tied the knot at their Beverly Hills home this past weekend and made their love official now that gay marriage is legal in California. Supermodel Rachel Hunter has finally found love again after his split from Rod Stewart. Hunter is engaged to a 12 years younger, ice-hockey player named Jarret Stoll. Shock jock Howard Stern may have married (but I don't think it happened yet) his girlfriend Beth Ostrosky in the Hamptons this past weekend. Whether they made it official or not is still unknown, but what is known is that Kelly Ripa's hubby Mark Consuelos will officiate the ceremony. Not only is he a soap star with a perfect smile, but he's also an ordained minister. Pop/country star Jewel married her boyfriend of 10 years, rodeo star Ty Murray, in a very private ceremony in the Bahamas. Unfortunately 2 stars did not get hit with cupid's arrow. The couple I thought would last for all of time has split. Jennifer Aniston said good-bye to her millionth failed relationship with beau John Mayer.
Madonna is 50. Yes…50…hard to believe considering most people in their 20s don't look half as good as she does nor have the same level of stamina. Although she is welcoming a new decade, heck a new half-century, she is not adopting a new Malawian baby despite reports stating otherwise. Between the new tour and stressed marriage I doubt she wants to go through another adoption drama. She did celebrate with her hubby and 90 other friends in London but was back in the gym the next morning…now that's what I call discipline.
It only took 4 weeks to do it, but Batman's The Dark Knight has finally slipped to #2. Ben Stiller's Tropic Thunder kicked butt this past weekend. Despite the DK curse, Christian Bale can breathe a sigh of relief. He will not be going to jail for his alleged attack on his mom and sister.
The MTV VMAs are fast approaching (Sept. 7th), and our very own Britney is getting in on the action. No word yet if she will be performing (no one could ever forget last year's disaster), but she is helping promote the show (and looking great if I may say so myself). Tyra Banks has been making some headlines lately. First she posed as Michelle Obama in the lastest issue of Harper's Bazaar, then she promoted Italian Vogue's "All Black" Issue (July 2008) which only used black models in an effort to support diversity in the modeling world with her own special, and she just announced that one of her new America's Next Top Model contestants is a transgender woman (male to female). She really is trying to give Oprah a run for her money.
Madonna is 50. Yes…50…hard to believe considering most people in their 20s don't look half as good as she does nor have the same level of stamina. Although she is welcoming a new decade, heck a new half-century, she is not adopting a new Malawian baby despite reports stating otherwise. Between the new tour and stressed marriage I doubt she wants to go through another adoption drama. She did celebrate with her hubby and 90 other friends in London but was back in the gym the next morning…now that's what I call discipline.
It only took 4 weeks to do it, but Batman's The Dark Knight has finally slipped to #2. Ben Stiller's Tropic Thunder kicked butt this past weekend. Despite the DK curse, Christian Bale can breathe a sigh of relief. He will not be going to jail for his alleged attack on his mom and sister.
The MTV VMAs are fast approaching (Sept. 7th), and our very own Britney is getting in on the action. No word yet if she will be performing (no one could ever forget last year's disaster), but she is helping promote the show (and looking great if I may say so myself). Tyra Banks has been making some headlines lately. First she posed as Michelle Obama in the lastest issue of Harper's Bazaar, then she promoted Italian Vogue's "All Black" Issue (July 2008) which only used black models in an effort to support diversity in the modeling world with her own special, and she just announced that one of her new America's Next Top Model contestants is a transgender woman (male to female). She really is trying to give Oprah a run for her money.
79 Days and Counting:
Senator Barack Obama is gearing up for the Democratic Nat'l Convention in Denver Aug. 25-28th. He still has yet to announce his VP picks, unless of course I just never got my text message :p But big names are being dropped for who will be attending the convention…like the big O, Oprah, Ben Affleck, Charlize Theron, and Josh Brolin (who is making a not so favorable movie about Bush with director Oliver Stone) amongst other stars. Although word spread that former Secretary of State Colin Powell was endorsing Obama and attending the convention, Powell denies all the rumors. But most importantly Senator Obama has just "rick rolled" you!
Senator John McCain has also yet to name his VP choice. Right now the top 2 picks are former Pennsylvania Governor and Member of the House Tom Ridge and Connecticut Senator Joe Lieberman. Both men are pro-choice which could lead to a very interesting ticket. He has some more time to choice...the Republican Nat'l Convention in Minneapolis-St. Paul isn't till Sept. 1-4th. Both candidates took part in the "Saddleback Civil Forum on the Presidency" moderated by Pastor Rick Warren. This was not a debate, but a forum. They tossed a coin for who would go first, each got their separate times to answer identical questions, and then came together to hug awkwardly. Pastor Warren asked very direct questions. You can check out what the Senators had to say here.
What you didn't register/re-register to vote yet? Must have slipped your mind…I'm sure. T-Time did it and so should you!
Senator John McCain has also yet to name his VP choice. Right now the top 2 picks are former Pennsylvania Governor and Member of the House Tom Ridge and Connecticut Senator Joe Lieberman. Both men are pro-choice which could lead to a very interesting ticket. He has some more time to choice...the Republican Nat'l Convention in Minneapolis-St. Paul isn't till Sept. 1-4th. Both candidates took part in the "Saddleback Civil Forum on the Presidency" moderated by Pastor Rick Warren. This was not a debate, but a forum. They tossed a coin for who would go first, each got their separate times to answer identical questions, and then came together to hug awkwardly. Pastor Warren asked very direct questions. You can check out what the Senators had to say here.
What you didn't register/re-register to vote yet? Must have slipped your mind…I'm sure. T-Time did it and so should you!
Want to See My 'O' Face?:
Despite some controversy regarding fake fireworks, fake singers, and fake 16 year-old gymnasts the Olympics are running pretty smoothly. The U.S. is rocking the medal count with 72 followed by China with 67 and Russia with a distant 36. You can also keep track of the medal count.
But any and all Olympics coverage must include the star, Michael Phelps (the human dolphin). The 23 year-old swimming phenom won not 1, 2 or even 3 but 8 GOLD MEDALS (7 of which were done in world record time). In his quest to being the best (I'm a poet and I know it) he broke swimmer Mark Spitz's record for 7 gold medals in one Olympic game and became the "winningest" Olympian in history.
The U.S. gymnastics team also kicked butt. Except they they did it more as individual gymnasts than as a team (they got Silver after China). Nastia Liukin won the gold and teammate Shawn Johnson won the silver in the individuals all-around competition. In an even bigger moment Liukin won her gold 20 years after her father won a gymnastics gold for the Soviet Union. But last night the roles reversed and Johnson got silver in the floor routine while Liukin brought in the bronze. More individual events are still to come.
The one sport where the big names disappointed was tennis. Reigning champs Roger Federer and the Williams sisters, Venus and Serena, were all knocked out during their quarter-final matche (they finally saw gold during their doubles games). And although James Black beat Federer, he was no match for Novak Djokovic (the Bronze). Rafael Nadal continues his winning streak by grabbing the Gold.
But any and all Olympics coverage must include the star, Michael Phelps (the human dolphin). The 23 year-old swimming phenom won not 1, 2 or even 3 but 8 GOLD MEDALS (7 of which were done in world record time). In his quest to being the best (I'm a poet and I know it) he broke swimmer Mark Spitz's record for 7 gold medals in one Olympic game and became the "winningest" Olympian in history.
The U.S. gymnastics team also kicked butt. Except they they did it more as individual gymnasts than as a team (they got Silver after China). Nastia Liukin won the gold and teammate Shawn Johnson won the silver in the individuals all-around competition. In an even bigger moment Liukin won her gold 20 years after her father won a gymnastics gold for the Soviet Union. But last night the roles reversed and Johnson got silver in the floor routine while Liukin brought in the bronze. More individual events are still to come.
The one sport where the big names disappointed was tennis. Reigning champs Roger Federer and the Williams sisters, Venus and Serena, were all knocked out during their quarter-final matche (they finally saw gold during their doubles games). And although James Black beat Federer, he was no match for Novak Djokovic (the Bronze). Rafael Nadal continues his winning streak by grabbing the Gold.
News Potpourri:
I'll leave you with some quick news tidbits that couldn't fit either here or there so they're getting their own paragraph! Warning: those CNN and MSNBC alerts you may have been getting in your inbox are fakes. Do not click on the links. They will take you to a fake news site and ask you to download program updates which will only spread malware on your computer. So now you know…don't fall for it! Plus you don't need to read alerts when you have T-Time. An Ohio church has released its '7 Rules' detailing what is and is not appropriate for priests to do with children. The list does not allow kissing, tickling, or even piggyback riding (plus some other big no-nos), but high-fives and patting on the back are a-ok. Sandy Allen, the world's tallest woman at 7'7", died at the age of 53. Coincidentally she lived in the same nursing home as the world's oldest person…there's definitely something in the water over there! In fear of indictment and death (the latter being a tad bit scarier) US-backed Pakistani President Pervez Musharraf resigned from his post. Mrs. Fields has filed for bankruptcy. Apparently those bratty teens in the mall aren't eating as many cookies as they used to. I ask all my loyal readers to please find your nearest Mrs. Fields and buy a cookie… consider it your moral duty as Americans. Speaking of women who cook, newly released documents confirmed that famed chef Julia Child who introduced French cooking to America was a spy (for what is now the CIA) back in her heyday. With the country becoming more diverse the U.S. Census Bureau released population projections stating that whites will be in the minority by 2042. In case you guys don't realize T really cares about your well-being. I want you to be happy and healthy. So next time you start craving a Whopper with fries just take a look at what this former Burger King employee did to celebrate his bday.
I hope this gives you an idea of what's going on in the world. Buck up…it's not so bad! Michael Phelps proved he is the better than the best in the world and Madonna is the big 5-0! All is right with the world!
Now go and have an intellectually stimulating conversation with your neighbor about what you've just learned.
Now go and have an intellectually stimulating conversation with your neighbor about what you've just learned.
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