T-Time
Weekly News Update for the Week of October 1st-6th 2008

Do you work all day and have no time or energy to find out what's going on in the world? Do you get bored and impatient watching TV anchors tell you over and over what's going on? Do you sometimes care more about what Britney Spears is doing than what President Bush said during his State of the Union address? If you answered yes to even one of these questions this is what you've been waiting for! Every week I'm going to give you a quick rundown of the past week's biggest headlines. I won't bore you with minute details and shove tons of information down your throats. These are just the facts with a little humor for measure! And if you want to know more you can always just Google it or ask me.

Starrywood:

Oprah is just trying to be the best billionaire media mogul she can be, but people around her keep dragging her name through litigation mud! Her mom was being sued for not paying a clothing boutique's bill, and now Momma O is countersuing claiming they should have never given her a store credit card to begin with! Oprah, herself, is being sued for defamation by the ex-headmistress at her South African Girls Academy claiming Oprah's comments about her have tarnished her reputation. Oprah didn't tarnish your reputation, your poor and abusive actions did! Charlize Theron is being sued by Simon Weil for not following her contract stipulations and wearing their watch 24/7. See...if you want to get paid to pimp out products you gotta do your share!

Dancing With The Stars recent reject Kim Kardashian took being kicked off pretty hard and bawled her fake eyelashes off. Kim danced like she was in a comatose state, and the Judges called her out on it. She and her family explained that she was just 'shy'. Last time I checked shy people don't make sex tapes, star is reality shows about their lives, and pose naked for Playboy. Just admit it KK, besides your ASSets you have nothing going for you!

Howard Stern and model/girlfriend of 8 years Beth Ostrosky finally got married this past Friday at Le Cirque Restaurant in NYC. The ceremony was officiated by Mr. Kelly Ripa, Mark Consuelos, and the guest list included Donald Trump, Baba Wawa (Ms. Barbara Walters for all you non Gilda Radner fans), and Baba Booey, just to name a few. Melissa Etheridge and Tammy Lynn Michaels are jumping on the California legal gay marriage train and making their union official! T-Time's mortal enemy, Rosie O'Donnell is getting her own variety show on NBC. Let's see how quick "variety" turns into a "hatred-filled, conspiracy rant" soap box. That's all I'll have to say about that!

The rumor of the week was "Britney sex tape: Real or Fake". The verdict seems to be fake. All parties deny any existence of the tape. I hear dream bubbles bursting across the world. Britney has been keeping busy promoting her new single Womanizer. She even took time out to visit some school kids in the Bronx. One little detail though…the school was closed for Rosh Hashanah so they had to call kids in. Bonus points to Brit's people for careful planning and follow-through!

Elizabeth Hurley's acting career is lukewarm to say the least, so she's been expanding into other business ventures. She will now be promoting an organic food line. Hey...if eating organic food makes me look as good as her in my 40s and post-child or even in my current state then count me in! Speaking of hot moms, Angelina Jolie made her first public appearance, since giving birth to her twins, at the NYC premiere of her new movie The Changeling, and she looked as gorgeous as ever! If you're interested in buying tickets to see a Diva, I'd recommend buying insurance as well. Janet Jackson continues to cancel shows due to a mystery illness, and Cher also had to cancel her last 2 shows of the year in Vegas due to illness!

29 Days and Counting:

The big political news of the week was the first and only Vice Presidential Debate between Senator Joe Biden and Governor Sarah Palin. Over 70 million people watched it! Most people expected Palin to crash and burn against the fast-talking Biden, but she held her own. There was also concern that the moderator, Gwen Ifill, would be biased towards Biden since she wrote a book about Obama, but all was fair on the podium-filled stage. SNL has been banking off this presidential campaign. Here's their take on the VP Debate. Rumor has it that Governor Sarah Palin may even come on to play Tina Fey! Want to know what some liberally thinking, liberally drinking NYC youths thought about the debate? Watch this!

The 2nd presidential debate is Tuesday, October 7th at 9 p.m. [EST], and the 3rd and final debate will be Wednesday, October 15th also at 9 p.m. [EST].

Ohio residents got to start voting early. Certain states are allowing early voting as a way to avoid long lines and confusion the day of. Personally I'm waiting till the very last minute cause in the race anything could go down, and I sure as hell don't want to regret my decision. What you didn't register/re-register to vote yet? What are you waiting for?!? For most states the deadline has either already passed or is coming up this week! But really you don't have to vote...just listen to the celebs!

News Potpourri:

I'll leave you with some quick news tidbits that couldn't fit either here or there so they're getting their own paragraph! You may still be holding on to the hope that the U.S. gymnastics team will win back its deserved Gold medal, but unfortunately for all you patriots the Olympic Committee has officially announced that those tiny, age-defying Chinese gymnasts were in fact "of age" and honestly won their medals. Some actual progress occurred in the financial crisis...both the Senate and the House approved a modified bailout bill. Now we wait and see... For now I'm just trying to figure out if Wells Fargo or Citigroup bought out Wachovia! It's a sad moment for the Great White Way...Hairspray will be closing up shop soon :( House Peters, Jr., the man who played Mr. Clean died this week. I'll never look at cleaning supplies the same way again. Well T-Time be d*mned...O.J. Simpson was found guilty on all charges in his Las Vegas/memorabilia case! He could potentially face up to life in prison. Hmm...I wonder if that jury had any preconceived ill notions of the former NFL star?!? Shockingly Beverly Hills Chihuahua came in #1 at the box office this past weekend. This makes me question all other box office results! A) Who would even want to see it? B) Who even really knew it was out? C) It wasn't even a rainy weekend!!! For all your Entourage freaks...your show is being renewed for another season despite poor ratings this season.

I hope this gives you an idea of what's going on in the world. Buck up…it's not so bad! Howard Stern is finally off the market, and O.J. may actually pay for some of his crimes! All is right with the world!

Now go and have an intellectually stimulating conversation with your neighbor about what you've just learned.

~t

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