Do you work all day and have no time or energy to find out what's going on in the world? Do you get bored and impatient watching TV anchors tell you over and over what's going on? Do you sometimes care more about what Britney Spears is doing than what President Bush said during his State of the Union address? If you answered yes to even one of these questions this is what you've been waiting for! Every week I'm going to give you a quick rundown of the past week's biggest headlines. I won't bore you with minute details and shove tons of information down your throats. These are just the facts with a little humor for measure! And if you want to know more you can always just Google it or ask me.
Getting International On Your @ss:
Shockingly news happens outside of the U.S. as well. Violent protests have been breaking out in Katmandu, Nepal. Tibetan monks, refugees and supporters are protesting China’s oppression and killing of Tibetans. The Chinese government is even blaming the peaceful Dalai Lama for instigating the protests. Things are getting so tense that the Dalai Lama is threatening to quit. The summer Olympics are being held in Beijing, and the normally controlling Chinese government does not like all the noise and raucous! The potentially ‘most-expensive divorce in Britain’s history’ finally came to an end. Heather Mills did not dent Paul McCartney’s wallet too badly…only about $50M. Just a friendly reminder: this week commemorates the 5th anniversary of the Iraq War.
Politics NY Style:
So the Spitzer debacle spilled over to another week. Shamed governor Eliot Spitzer resigned, and Lieutenant Governor David Paterson took over. But instead of dealing with secrets spilling out during his term, he and his wife decided it would be best to put everything out in the open. So he gets sworn in and then admits that he and the Mrs. both had affairs during their marriage. Nothing beats celebrating becoming governor like admitting to your scandalous past. Girls Gone Wild CEO Joe Francis, fresh out of jail, jumped on the Spitzer bandwagon and offered $1 million to the now infamous call girl ‘Kristen’. Well funny thing happened on the way to become a high-priced prostitute and it was discovered that when Kristen still went by as “Ashley” she already flashed her goodies and even did some girl-on-girl action for the company when she was 18. I see this as a double win…Francis save $1M and Ashley skips doing any extra work! NJ, sick of being in NY’s shadow, resparked its own governor scandal when news broke that ex-NJ governor James McGreevey who left his post after it was discovered he was having an affair with a male staffer may have also had a threesome with his wife and a male-driver, Teddy Pederson. Dina McGreevey is denying the accusations, but both McGreevey and Pederson claim it happened several times. Whatever happened to sleeping with the one you married and doing the job your were elected by the people to do?!?
Do We Still Not Know Who’s Running?:
Democratic presidential candidates Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama continue to fight for their party’s nomination. Obama has been dealing with the mess from his pastor Reverend Wright. He gave a speech on race and other topics. If you’d like to hear it here it is: http://youtube.com/watch?v=pWe7wTVbLUU&feature=bz301. Clinton got support from Elton John who said he was performing a special concert just for her. Since he’s already clinched the GOP presidential nomination, John McCain is spending his time traveling to the Middle East (including a trip to Iraq and Israel) actually fulfilling his job as a Senator. Vice President Dick Cheney has also been doing his rounds visiting both countries.
News Potpourri:
I'll leave you with some quick news tidbits that couldn't fit either here or there so they're getting their own paragraph! Golf phenom Tiger Woods won his 64th career victory which ties him for 3rd place in all-time wins, and he’s far from retiring so be prepared for a record when he’s finally done. Speaking of sports…March Madness is upon us. If you need some cheering up just go to your neighborhood sports bar and check out all the drunken fools cheering for their alma maters. The ‘90210’ spin-off show is not a definite yet, but here’s a breakdown for the characters: http://defamer.com/369878/meet-the-mills-analyzing-the-90210-spinoff-breakdowns. An American icon is celebrating its 10th birthday. Next time you come across it say “Happy Birthday Viagra!” Not only is Brangelina gracing the world with another perfect child, but they may actually be expecting twins…double the genetic jackpot! The financial world was hit a devastating blow when JP Morgan had to bail out financial investment bank Bear Stearns to save it from going out of business. Bear Stearns’ stocks at one time cost $160 per share, but JP Morgan bought them for only $2. TV shows are finally coming back after the ugly writer’s strike…get your DVR’s ready. CNN’s Anderson Cooper admitted to having skin cancer. No worries though…the silver fox had the bad patch removed and is a-ok. In the crazy Spears world Ms. Britney was ordered to pay K-Fed’s lawyers’ fees, and the restraining order against her svengali-like ex-manager was extended for another 30 days. Here’s your video for the week: http://perezhilton.com/2008-03-24-you-must-5.
I hope this gives you an idea of what's going on in the world. Buck up…it's not so bad! Your favorite TV shows are slowly coming back and being governor seems a lot more exciting these days. All is right with the world!
Now go and have an intellectually stimulating conversation with your neighbor about what you've just learned.
I hope this gives you an idea of what's going on in the world. Buck up…it's not so bad! Your favorite TV shows are slowly coming back and being governor seems a lot more exciting these days. All is right with the world!
Now go and have an intellectually stimulating conversation with your neighbor about what you've just learned.
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