T-Time Weekly News Update for the Week of July 29th-August 3rd 2008

Do you work all day and have no time or energy to find out what's going on in the world? Do you get bored and impatient watching TV anchors tell you over and over what's going on? Do you sometimes care more about what Britney Spears is doing than what President Bush said during his State of the Union address? If you answered yes to even one of these questions this is what you've been waiting for! Every week I'm going to give you a quick rundown of the past week's biggest headlines. I won't bore you with minute details and shove tons of information down your throats. These are just the facts with a little humor for measure! And if you want to know more you can always just Google it or ask me.

*T-Time is a day early this week cause Monday is the big B-Day, and I’m still fighting to make it a national holiday! Hopefully for all you readers I’ll not only be a year older but a year wiser as well!

Celebrity-Time:

So I’ve been feeling quite sad due to the lack of Britney news lately, but that has all changed with this past week! Brit Brit’s lawyers did not ask for an extension on the restraining order against svengali-like ex-“manager” Sam Lutfi. That doesn’t mean that they’re back in touch, it just means that Britney seems coherent enough to not get involved with the crazies. She may have gotten rid of Sam, but Brit’s still stuck with her dad as her conservator. Dad’s been doing such a good job keeping his daughter in line (only took 25 years) that a judge extended the conservatorship through December 31st. Britney’s little sis Jamie Lynn, mom to Maddie Briann (http://www.buzzfeed.com/blanca/jamie-lynns-baby-photos) may be getting married soon. I guess they just didn’t want to rush into anything…first get pregnant at 16 then think about marriage.

It’s not always sunshine and Botox in Hollywood. Kate Hudson and Lance Armstrong broke up after a whole 3 months of dating. Rumors are flying that Matthew Broderick had an affair while wifey Sarah Jessica Parker was filming Sex and The City: The Movie. But I refuse to believe this cause they’re too cute together and have been together longer than most celeb couples, so I’m chalking this up to tabloid fluff. The former employee accused of abusing students at Oprah’s school in Africa went on trial. If Oprah has anything to do with she’ll be locked up for life…forced to watch Dr. Phil reruns. It seems that although Shia LaBeouf was drunk when he got into the accident that flipped his car, the accident was actually the other driver’s fault (she ran a red light). NY Yankees star A-Rod is going on with his divorce, but he’s making sure that the lawyers stick to the prenup (sounds like someone’s soon-to-be ex-wife is about to get screwed). Christina Applegate, a.k.a. Kelly Bundy, has been diagnosed with breast cancer. Because it was detected early she should expect a full recovery after treatment. Speaking of recovery, Patrick Swayze has been working on a new TV series and looking a million times better than when news broke of his pancreatic cancer diagnosis.

94 Days and Counting:

So I guess the Yeshiva student who stole Senator Barack Obama’s note from the Wailing Wall is a T-Time reader cause he finally felt the pangs of guilt and returned the note to its intended location. Now that the elections are in the somewhat near future VP contender names are dropping left and right. The top guys on the list as of now are: Virginia Governor Tim Kaine, Delaware Senator Joe Biden, and Indiana Senator Evan Bayh.

Senator John McCain wanted to get his name in the press more, and his wish was granted. McCain’s campaign debuted a new commercial calling out Obama for being popular just for being popular (making similarities to Britney and Paris). You can check it out right here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oHXYsw_ZDXg&feature=related. McCain’s daughter, Meghan, admitted that she was registered as “Independent” but switched to “Republican” for her dad on Father’s Day.

The late Tim Russert’s son Luke will be following in his father’s footsteps. Luke will be a correspondent for NBC news. He will be covering everything from youth issues to the Democratic and Republican conventions (Aug 25-28 in Denver and Sept. 1-4 in Minneapolis-St. Paul, respectively).

Rapper Ludacris has gotten himself involved with the elections as well. He wrote a little ditty about all the candidates and the current president. It goes something like this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=THRoyvbkCzg.

What you didn’t register/re-register to vote yet? Must have slipped your mind…I’m sure. www.rockthevote.com. T-Time did it and so should you!

Around the World in 4 Stories:

On the domestic front the U.S. is going through some financial hardships. NYC and California are getting hit the hardest and experiencing huge deficits.

Israel’s Prime Minister Ehud Olmert is stepping down from his post in September, after his party reelects a new leader, amongst allegations that he was involved in some shady financial dealings although he continues to claim his innocence.

China is continuing to anger the international community. Although the Olympics are starting this Friday, August 8th there continues to be issues over many of China’s policies. China will continue to censor the Internet and all users (Chinese, athletes, tourists, etc).

There may be a war going on, but that doesn’t seem to be in the way of American capitalism spreading. A KFC, that’s right Kentucky Fried Chicken, has just opened up in Fallujah, Iraq.

News Potpourri:

I'll leave you with some quick news tidbits that couldn't fit either here or there so they're getting their own paragraph! Sir Richard Branson, owner of all things Virgin, unveiled his new personal spacecraft the Virgin Galactic that will be able to take “tourists” (millionaire tourists) to outer space. If you’re looking for a good party…University of Florida is the place to be. The Princeton Review named it the #1 party school…woohoo! Batman’s The Dark Knight continues to kick butt at the box office. For the 2nd week in a row it came in at #1 bringing its grand total to over $395M. T finally saw it, and let me be the millionth person to tell you that it’s a) really good, and b) Heath Ledger really is that amazing as the Joker. Los Angeles got hit with a pretty decent earthquake last Tuesday. You can see the effects during the taping of Judge Judy: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_5t_p6Adu8E. The 2 major U.S. satellite radio providers Sirius and XM finally completed their merger and became “Sirius XM Radio” (super original). People Magazine has won again by getting the photo rights to Brad and Angie’s twin babies…and I have the first pics right here: http://www.people.com/people/article/0,,20216352,00.html. Green Bay Packer’s QB Brett Favre has been stirring up quite a bit of drama. First he tearfully retired and then he claimed he was forced to quit. Well this whole past week has been full of “will he rejoin” or “won’t he”, and it looks like the star player will be reinstated to his former team and joining them at training camp. In honor of the upcoming Olympics here’s your video of the week (not safe for the office): http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/6c2a1615d5.

I hope this gives you an idea of what's going on in the world. Buck up…it's not so bad! Britney’s finally back in the headlines and the Brangelina baby pics have arrived! All is right with the world!

Now go and have an intellectually stimulating conversation with your neighbor about what you've just learned.

~t