Saturday, December 29, 2007

T-Time Weekly News Update for the Week of December 25th-29th 2007

T-Time
Weekly News Update for the Week of December 25th- 29th 2007


Do you work all day and have no time or energy to find out what's going on in the world? Do you get bored and impatient watching TV anchors tell you over and over what's going on? Do you sometimes care more about what Britney Spears is doing than what President Bush said during his State of the Union address? If you answered yes to even one of these questions this is what you've been waiting for! Every week I'm going to give you a quick rundown of the past week's biggest headlines. I won't bore you with minute details and shove tons of information down your throats. These are just the facts with a little humor for measure! And if you want to know more you can always just Google it or ask me.

It’s Contagious…:
Everyone and their mother got engaged this week. I’m going to announce the list of newly engaged couples in order of sincerity. Fergie, from the Black-Eyed Peas and her super cute actor boyfriend, Josh Duhamel, became engaged after 3 years of dating and living together. Fergie has been quoted as saying that she and Josh were “basically married”. Well I guess “basically” wasn’t good enough cause now she’s rocking a huge diamond ring. After announcing her pregnancy, Jessica Alba and Cash Warren have decided to get hitched. The couple broke up earlier this summer because Cash didn’t want to get married. You go Jessica…there’s nothing like getting pregnant to keep your man for life. And Tiffany ‘New York’ Pollard, of I Love New York and Flavor of Love infamy, became engaged to George ‘Tailor Made’ Weisgerber, the guy who “won” her heart in this season of I Love New York 2. I’ll put all my savings down on the fact that this will end by New Year’s.

Actual News:
There have only been 2 major news stories this week. For the first few days of the week a tiger attack in the San Francisco Zoo took over the airwaves. A 350-pound Siberian tiger, named Tatiana, mauled 3 young men, killing 1. At first it seemed like a freak accident, although there’s nothing accidental or freakish about wild animals acting on their instincts (hello…Siegfried & Roy anyone?), but now it seems like the guys were taunting the tiger. Tatiana was shot and killed, and the 2 survivors are still in the hospital but acting super shady to the police. An investigation is in the works. In much more serious and sad news, twice-former Pakistani Prime Minister Benazir Bhutto was killed in a suicide bomber and assassination act. Details are still unclear but it seems that a man shot at Bhutto and then blew himself up. Benazir Bhutto was the only hope for Pakistan’s peaceful and democratic future. She returned to Pakistan after being in exile and faced equal parts love and hate from the Pakistani people. Her father was a former prime minister who was hung during a coup. Pakistani officials are claiming this was an act of Al Qaeda, but some believe the current president, Musharraf, may have been behind it. Either way it’s a sad day for Pakistan and the rest of the political world.

Life must be so hard…:
Sometimes I truly feel bad for the young, rich and famous…NOT. Life gets so boring when you get everything you want at such a young age. Paris and Nikki Hilton were smacked with reality when their grandfather, Barron Hilton, (the one with all the actual money) announced that he would be donating 97% of his personal wealth (approx $2.3 billion) to charity. Apparently Paris has been somewhat of an embarrassment to the Hilton clan…I can’t imagine why!?! Now Paris and Nikki will actually have to work for their money. Mischa Barton has finally realized that in order to be famous and popular she must get caught driving drunk. But just to step it up to another level she had illegal drugs (pot and prescription pills) in her car as well. Next she’ll go to rehab and serve 8 minutes in jail...obvi R&B singer Brandy will not be charged in a crime for a fatal car crash last year. On December 30, 2006, Brandy rear-ended a car on a L.A. freeway that set off a chain-reaction crash and involved two other cars. The driver of the car she hit, a 38-year-old mother of two, died the following day. Brandy is still facing wrongful-death lawsuits from the late woman’s family. I guess money can’t get you totally out of trouble.

News Potpourri:
I'll leave you with some quick news tidbits that couldn't fit either here or there so they're getting their own paragraph! Rapper Jay-Z has decided to not renew his contract as President of Def Jam Records. He wants to concentrate more on his clubs and other business ventures. Maybe this will be like his “retirement” from the rap world, and he’ll return in a year. Sean Penn and Robin Wright Penn are divorcing after 11 years of marriage. 11 years in Hollywood is like 50 in normal people years so their relationship was quite a fete. If you’re as shallow as most Americans and will vote for the next president based on looks then here’s a fun look back at the way they were: http://photos.tmz.com/galleries/the_candidates_then_and_now. Heidi Klum is being sued by jewelry designer Van Cleef and Arpels. Van Cleef claims that Heidi and her jewelry company copied their vintage jewelry, specifically all the clover shapes. If Van Cleef is so concerned about celebrities copying their jewelry that they’re willing to sue then Jessica Simpson better watch out. She’s been copying shoe designs since the launch of her own shoe line.

I hope this gives you an idea of what's going on in the world. Buck up…it's not so bad! All is right with the world! A brand new year full of news is upon us!

Now go have some champagne and ring in the New Year!

~t

You can also check this out on www.myspace.com/tgitt or on my new, official blog http://ttimeupdate.blogspot.com/

Wednesday, December 26, 2007

T-Time Weekly News Update for the Week of December 16th-24th 2007

T-Time
Weekly News Update for the Week of December 16th- 24th 2007

Do you work all day and have no time or energy to find out what's going on in the world? Do you get bored and impatient watching TV anchors tell you over and over what's going on? Do you sometimes care more about what Britney Spears is doing than what President Bush said during his State of the Union address? If you answered yes to even one of these questions this is what you've been waiting for! Every week I'm going to give you a quick rundown of the past week's biggest headlines. I won't bore you with minute details and shove tons of information down your throats. These are just the facts with a little humor for measure! And if you want to know more you can always just Google it or ask me.

She’s Pregnant Y’All!:
How could I not start this week’s T-Time by mentioning Jamie Lynn Spears’ pregnancy? Nothing says high-class like being born into the Spears family. Jamie Lynn is a mature woman in a long-term relationship. By mature I mean 16 years old and by long-term I mean on and off for 2 years (she almost makes Britney look normal for waiting till her mid-twenties to get married, having kids and then abandoning them all…I stress ‘almost’). Jamie Lynn has decided to keep the baby because it’s the moral and Christian thing to do. I love that morals kicked in after the fact. And to add yet another level of classiness to the situation Jamie Lynn decided to announce this to the world through OK! Magazine. Britney was the last to know and celebrated by going out, shopping, drinking etc. Why would she care about Jamie’s future child if she doesn’t even care about her own? But before Jamie can worry about her unborn child she has to reevaluate her definitely-not-going-anywhere-soon career and Nickelodeon show ‘Zoey 101’ Nickelodeon put out a statement saying they support and respect Jamie Lynn…loosely translated: we support her pregnancy, but we’re definitely going to cancel her show! In response to the news Nickelodeon is considering doing a teen pregnancy special. Their target audience is kids between the age of 2 and 11. What do 2 year-olds need to know about sex and teen pregnancy?!? In case you’re a little depressed after reading this check out this link (it’s hysterical!)… http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y8baqly5cVI

And the award may not go to…:
That damn writers strike keeps on going like that stupid Energizer bunny. CBS cancelled the People’s Choice Awards. The Writers Guild Association (WGA) won’t allow the awards shows to use guild writers, clips from previous ceremonies that were written by guild writers, etc. Now the presenters will have to come up with their own lame-joke intros. I don’t really see the problem. Could the jokes be any worse than they normally are? Comedy writers aren’t allowed to prepare material for the Golden Globes on NBC. The Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences, a.k.a. the Oscars, also got declined by the WGA when they asked to use clips from motion pictures and past Oscar shows during the February event. The verdict is still out on whether Jon Stewart will be have written material for when he hosts the Oscars. Hopefully this whole strike can be resolved soon. I don’t know how much more I can take…no new shows and cancelled awards show…it’s the end of the world as we know it!!!

No One Wants to Be Jessica Simpson:
Jessica shot to fame playing a dumb blonde, newlywed on MTV. The girl is naturally pretty and can actually sing, so obviously she couldn’t possibly make it big the normal way. After dumping her husband, Nick Lachey, after thinking that her career was really going to take off (talk about biggest mistake EVER!), her career and public image have plummeted. She is now dating Tony Romo, the star quarterback for the Dallas Cowboys. Things seem to be looking up, right? Nope. She exudes so much bad luck that Romo played his worst game ever when she was in the stands cheering. A website called “Ruin Romo” is asking people to upload pictures of Jessica Simpson as masks for people to wear. Their goal is to get as many people as possible to print out the cutout of Jessica and wear the masks to the games. If that wasn’t bad enough Simpson's new film, Blonde Ambition, ran in only 8 theaters in Texas (instead of going straight to DVD which would have been the better decision). Blonde Ambition premiered with a total box office of $384. $384 on opening weekend?!? I make more than that in a week! Blonde Ambition will be taken out of its misery and will be released on DVD in January. Simpson's next movie, Major Movie Star, is expected to go straight to DVD as well.

And the award goes to…:
Continuing with my comprehensive coverage of all that is award ceremonies I bring you the Screen Actors Guild Nominees (SAG as we in the industry refer to them :p) Unlike the Foreign Press, the Guild was able to get a higher caliber of actors to announce the nominees. Terrence Howard and Jeanne Tripplehorn announced the nominees for the 14th Annual Screen Actors Guild Awards, with the winners to be revealed Sunday, January 27th, 2008. But like the Golden Globes, SAG honors both television and movies. Here are the categories that people and artists really care about. I've bolded who I think will win.

Outstanding Ensemble, Drama Series:
Boston Legal
The Closer
Grey’s Anatomy
Mad Men
The Sopranos (this is the last year they can be nominated, and they’ve always been award darlings)

Outstanding Ensemble, Comedy Series:
30 Rock
Desperate Housewives
Entourage
The Office
Ugly Betty (they’re pretty strong and have a huge following, plus America Ferrara is everyone’s favorite starlet)

Outstanding Performance by a Male Actor in a Leading Role:
George Clooney (Michael Clayton)
Daniel Day-Lewis (There Will Be Blood)
Ryan Gosling (Lars And The Real Girl)
Emile Hirsch (Into The Wild) (he’s young and super talented, Sean Penn directed him, and this was a huge hit with critics)
Viggo Mortensen (Eastern Promises)

Outstanding Performance by a Female Actor in a Leading Role:
Cate Blanchett (Elizabeth: The Golden Age
Julie Christie (Away From Her)
Marion Cotillard (La Vie En Rose)
Angelina Jolie (A Mighty Heart)
Ellen Page (Juno) (what’s an awards season without a breakout young star?!? She has the best chance)

Outstanding Performance by a Cast in a Motion Picture:
3:10 to Yuma (Christian Bale, Russell Crowe, Peter Fonda, Gretchen Mol, Dallas Roberts, Vinessa Shaw, Ben Foster, Alan Tudyk, Logan Lerman)
American Gangster (Armand Assante, Josh Brolin, Russell Crowe, Ruby Dee, Chiwetel Ejiofor, Idris Elba, Cuba Gooding Jr., Carla Gugino, John Hawkes, Ted Levine, Joe Morton, Lymari Nadal, John Ortiz, RZA, Yul Vasquez, Denzel Washington)
Hairspray (Nikki Blonsky, Amanda Bynes, Paul Dooley, Zac Efron, Allison Janney, Elijah Kelley, James Marsden, Michelle Pfeiffer, Queen Latifah, Brittany Snow, Jerry Stiller, John Travolta, Christopher Walken)
Into the Wild (Brian Dierker, Marcia Gay Harden, Emile Hirsch, Hal Holbrook, William Hurt, Catherine Keener, Jena Malone, Kristen Stewart, Vince Vaughn)
No Country for Old Men (Javier Bardem, Josh Brolin, Garrett Dillahunt, Tess Harper, Woody Harrelson, Tommy Lee Jones, Kelly Macdonald) (this movie was everyone’s favorite. Javier Bardem’s role as a crazy killer is being likened to Hannibal Lector and Josh Brolin is getting the best reviews of his career)

News Potpourri:
I'll leave you with some quick news tidbits that couldn't fit either here or there so they're getting their own paragraph! Pamela Anderson announced that she was divorcing her 3rd husband, Rick Solomon, after about 3 months of marriage. This would be her 3rd divorce, 2nd in 2007…very impressive. But after posting the news on her blog, the only appropriate thing to do during a divorce, she posted a new blog saying that they’re working things out. Good luck with this marriage Pammie! Will Smith continues to rule the box office. I Am Legend opened up in the first spot. He doesn’t even have to try and his movies open up in the #1 spot. Michael Douglas is the new announcer for the NBC Nightly News. Is he that desperate for work? And can NBC really afford to pay a Hollywood star? Their primetime lineup is weakest of the bunch. The Natalee Holloway case is officially closed. After years of trying to build evidence against 3 young guys, nothing can truly be proven and there’s no body…so that’s the end of that. Queen Latifah is the new spokeswoman for Jenny Craig. This will definitely be the end of the super cheesy, hyped-up ads that Kirstie Alley and Valerie Bertinelli have been putting out. And finally Russia’s president, Vladimir Putin, was named Time Magazine’s Person of the Year. Time editors did say that “the choice is not an honor, rather the selection goes to the person who has most profoundly influenced the world during the past year, for better or for worse" (fyi…Stalin and Hitler are previous winners). Britney has profoundly influenced the world…how come she didn’t win?

I hope this gives you an idea of what's going on in the world. Buck up…it's not so bad! I mean…Jessica Simpson has worse luck than you and the Spears clan is multiplying like rabbits. All is right with the world!

Now go and have an intellectually stimulating conversation with your neighbor about what you've just learned.

~t

You can also check this out on www.myspace.com/tgitt or on my new, official blog http://ttimeupdate.blogspot.com/

Monday, December 17, 2007

T-Time Weekly News Update for the Week of Decembeer 9th-15th 2007

T-Time
Weekly News Update for the Week of December 9th- 15th 2007

Do you work all day and have no time or energy to find out what’s going on in the world? Do you get bored and impatient watching TV anchors tell you over and over what’s going on? Do you sometimes care more about what Britney Spears is doing than what President Bush said during his State of the Union address? If you answered yes to even one of these questions this is what you’ve been waiting for! Every week I’m going to give you a quick rundown of the past week’s biggest headlines. I won’t bore you with minute details and shove tons of information down your throats. These are just the facts with a little humor for measure! And if you want to know more you can always just Google it or ask me.

Nobel Prize…something I highly doubt I’ll ever receive:
The Nobel Prize Award Ceremony was, as tradition, held on December 10th, the anniversary of Alfred Nobel's death, in Oslo, Norway. Although the winners have already been announced, they officially received them on this day. In attendance were Al Gore, Rajendra Pachauri, Gerhard Ertl, Doris Lessing…I’m not going to bother naming everyone cause honestly you did not, do not, and will not know who these people are. But you should be thankful for them…they’re the great minds of our time. Sure there were geniuses abound, but the celebrities and celebrity performers stole the show. So typical…the nerds are outshone by the cool kids! In an attempt to up the ‘cool factor’ of the Nobel Prize, organizers brought in Al Gore (yeah I did it…what’s a story about Al Gore without a really bad global warming joke?!), Uma Thurman, Kevin Spacey, Alicia Keys, Annie Lennox, Melissa Etheridge and Kylie Minogue. Alicia did her part by wearing a skin-tight catsuit while performing, Kylie did hers by wearing some hot pants and singing some dance songs, and Uma…well Uma just dressed up and smiled.

Pop Train Wrecks:
Britney didn’t show up to her court deposition for her on-going custody battle with ex Kevin Federline. Her creepy assistant/manager Sam Lufti said that she saw the paparazzi outside her window and her anxiety took over. She sees the paparazzi every day! She tells them where she’s going so they can follow her and changes her outfit multiple times so they gets tons of different shots of her. Her anxiety doesn’t seem to be a problem on the road, in bars, at truck stops, etc. Can’t the Judge see what’s going on? She obviously doesn’t want her kids. She can’t come right out and say it so she’s doing everything in her power to lose custody. The woman didn’t bother to show to her own deposition. You can’t hide from the law darling…look at your buddy Paris. And if Britney isn’t enough bleach-blonde white trash celebrity gossip for you then I have some old school flavor coming your way. Anna Nicole Smith is back in the news. Two separate autopsies have revealed that (shocker) her son Daniel died of a lethal combination of methadone along with the antidepressants Lexapro and Zoloft. I can’t imagine that this comes as a surprise to anyone. The poor kid’s mom was Anna, and “surrogate step-dad” was Howard K. Stern. You would try to numb the pain too.

America’s Pastime:
The steroid scandal plaguing the MLB was amped up 100% by the Mitchell Report. Former Senator George Mitchell completed a 409-page report naming 88 players, both past and present, including seven MVPs who are apparently guilty of using steroids, human growth hormones, the juice, etc. This is some intense stuff…not your average high school book report. The report also concludes with four appendixes, including copied checks and FedEx receipts. Mitchell describes each player’s steroid use. He even describes how he tried contacting each player named so they could defend themselves, but only Jason Giambi spoke with him. I guess when you’re guilty it’s easier to stay silent than try to not accidentally admit to anything. Aside from the already troubled Barry Bonds, Yankees pitchers Roger Clemens and Andy Pettitte, Met Paul Lo Duca, former Yankees Kevin Brown, Mike Stanton, Rondell White, Glenallen Hill, Chuck Knoblauch and David Justice, and many others were implicated in the report.

And the award goes to…:
The award season continues with the Golden Globe nominations. The Golden Globes honor both film and television, and the awards ceremony will be held Sunday, January 13, 2008. The Hollywood Foreign Press has picked the crème de la crème of Hollywood stars to represent their award ceremony. A not-so-talented Hayden Panettiere, a very twitchy Quentin Tarantino, Dane Cook (why was he even there?!?) and Ryan Reynolds (of ‘Blade’ fame) announced the nominees. And Rumer Willis, daughter of Bruce Willis and Demi Moore, was officially named Miss Globe. This year the pool of talent is so deep that instead of the usual 5, 7 movies were nominated for best dramatic picture. But the most exciting part will be to see if the Golden Globes even air. The writer’s strike strikes again. Some stars have said that they would never cross the picket line, but I bet they’ll all be there. Everyone likes to get dressed up and told that they’re amazing! Here are the categories that people and artists really care about. I’ve bolded who I think will win. Steven Spielberg will be receiving the top honor, the Cecil B. DeMille Award. If you haven’t seen some of these movies/TV shows now is the time to check them out since no new TV is coming your way any time soon (damn those striking writers!).

Best Picture-Drama:
‘American Gangster’
‘Atonement’
‘Eastern Promises’
‘The Great Debaters’
‘Michael Clayton’
‘No Country for Old Men’ (this film has been getting rave reviews on all fronts)
‘There Will Be Blood’

Best Actor-Drama:
George Clooney ‘Michael Clayton’
Daniel Day-Lewis ‘There Will Be Blood’
James McAvoy ‘Atonement’
Viggo Mortensen ‘Eastern Promises’
Denzel Washington ‘American Gangster’ (he’s always a favorite and the strongest actor of the bunch)

Best Actress-Drama:
Cate Blanchett ‘Elizabeth: The Golden Age’
Julie Christie ‘Away from Her’ (the Foreign Press tends to honor the elders)
Jodie Foster ‘The Brave One’
Angelina Jolie ‘A Might Heart’
Keira Knightley ‘Atonement’

Best Picture-Musical/Comedy:
‘Across the Universe’ (not a definite; but this was an amazing movie)

‘Charlie Wilson’s War’
‘Hairspray’
‘Juno’
‘Sweeney Todd’

Best Actor-Musical/Comedy:
Johnny Depp ‘Sweeney Todd’
Ryan Gosling ‘Lars and the Real Girl’
Tom Hanks ‘Charlie Wilson’s War’ (when has Tom Hanks not won?!? Seriously no competition)
Philip Seymour Hoffman ‘The Savages’
John C. Reilly ‘Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story’

Best Actress-Musical/Comedy:
Amy Adams ‘Enchanted’
Nikki Blonsky ‘Hairspray’
Helena Bonham Carter ‘Sweeney Todd’
Marion Cotillard ‘La Vie En Rose’
Ellen Page ‘Juno’ (she’s new, young, and sharp…all the movie buzz is about her)

Best Television Drama:
‘Big Love’
‘Damages’
‘Grey’s Anatomy’ (they’re on a roll)
‘House’
‘Mad Men’
‘The Tudors’

Best Television Musical/Comedy:
’30 Rock’
‘Californication’
‘Entourage’
Pushing Daisies’ (this is new but funny, creative, and refreshingly unique)
‘Extras’

News Potpourri:
I’ll leave you with some quick news tidbits that couldn’t fit either here or there so they’re getting their own paragraph! The Hills are alive with the sound of being picked up. Long live MTV reality programming. After a lackluster finale Lauren “LC” Conrad announced that the show would indeed continue. My DVR is crying tears of joy. Madonna has been nominated to enter the Rock ‘n’ Roll Hall of Fame. Nothing bad to say about that…she’s a goddess. Although she is more pop than rock. Ike Turner, famous for beating his ex-wife Tina Turner, died at the age of 76. He complained that his music genius was overshadowed by the stories of his violent past. Maybe if he had stopped beating women people would have actually listened to his music. Jessica Alba is slowly realizing that she can’t act and her career is basically done. So in celebration she and her nobody of a boyfriend, Cash Warren, announced that they’re expecting. Jeopardy’s Alex Trebek suffered a minor heart attack early last week. But he has been released from the hospital and is recuperating. He issued a statement all in question form: What is “I'm truly overwhelmed by the great show of support and compassion expressed in the past few days to me, my family and my coworkers?” Celine Dion performed her final show in Las Vegas after a 5-year run. No worries…she’ll be chest thumping and over-emoting across the world while on tour to promote her new album.

I hope this gives you an idea of what’s going on in the world. Buck up…it’s not so bad! I mean…Al Gore finally won his consolation prize and Jeopardy will not/cannot be stopped by a mere heart attack. All is right with the world!

Now go and have an intellectually stimulating conversation with your neighbor about what you’ve just learned.

Corrections to last week’s T-Time: It was brought to my attention by everyone and their mother that Kathryn Heigl starred in Knocked Up not Superbad. My bad.

~t

You can also check this out on www.myspace.com/tgitt or http://ttimeupdate.blogspot.com/