Do you work all day and have no time or energy to find out what's going on in the world? Do you get bored and impatient watching TV anchors tell you over and over what's going on? Do you sometimes care more about what Britney Spears is doing than what President Bush said during his State of the Union address? If you answered yes to even one of these questions this is what you've been waiting for! Every week I'm going to give you a quick rundown of the past week's biggest headlines. I won't bore you with minute details and shove tons of information down your throats. These are just the facts with a little humor for measure! And if you want to know more you can always just Google it or ask me.
Oscars:
The tall, gold man turned 80 years old this year, and no writer’s strike was going to stop him. And like most 80 year-olds his celebration was not all that exciting or full of surprises. John Stewart hosted, Jack Nicholson chilled out in the front/center seat with his shades on and no one got naked. Here are the main winners; I was only off by 2 this time. And if you want a complete list you can check out…http://oscar.com/oscarnight/winners/index.
Best Motion Picture of the Year:
Atonement
Juno
Michael Clayton
No Country For Old Men
There Will Be Blood
Performance by an Actor in a Leading Role:
George Clooney, Michael Clayton
Daniel Day-Lewis, There Will Be Blood
Johnny Depp, Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street
Tommy Lee Jones, In the Valley of Elah
Viggo Mortensen, Eastern Promises
Performance by an Actress in a Leading Role:
Cate Blanchett, Elizabeth: The Golden Age
Julie Christie, Away From Her (she was my pick…I thought the elder would win)
Marion Cotillard, La Vie En Rose
Laura Linney, The Savages
Ellen Page, Juno
Performance by an Actor in a Supporting Role:
Casey Affleck, The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford
Javier Bardem, No Country For Old Men
Philip Seymour Hoffman, Charlie Wilson's War
Hal Holbrook, Into the Wild
Tom Wilkinson, Michael Clayton
Performance by an Actress in a Supporting Role:
Cate Blanchett, I'm Not There (I thought she had a chance)
Ruby Dee, American Gangster
Saoirse Ronan, Atonement
Amy Ryan, Gone Baby Gone
Tilda Swinton, Michael Clayton (total surprise win, even for Tilda)
Atonement
Juno
Michael Clayton
No Country For Old Men
There Will Be Blood
Performance by an Actor in a Leading Role:
George Clooney, Michael Clayton
Daniel Day-Lewis, There Will Be Blood
Johnny Depp, Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street
Tommy Lee Jones, In the Valley of Elah
Viggo Mortensen, Eastern Promises
Performance by an Actress in a Leading Role:
Cate Blanchett, Elizabeth: The Golden Age
Julie Christie, Away From Her (she was my pick…I thought the elder would win)
Marion Cotillard, La Vie En Rose
Laura Linney, The Savages
Ellen Page, Juno
Performance by an Actor in a Supporting Role:
Casey Affleck, The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford
Javier Bardem, No Country For Old Men
Philip Seymour Hoffman, Charlie Wilson's War
Hal Holbrook, Into the Wild
Tom Wilkinson, Michael Clayton
Performance by an Actress in a Supporting Role:
Cate Blanchett, I'm Not There (I thought she had a chance)
Ruby Dee, American Gangster
Saoirse Ronan, Atonement
Amy Ryan, Gone Baby Gone
Tilda Swinton, Michael Clayton (total surprise win, even for Tilda)
The Never Ending Race:
There were more primaries to be had this week. Barack Obama won his birth state of Hawaii. John McCain won for the Republicans in Wisconsin, while Obama took yet another win away from Hillary Clinton by winning Wisconsin as well. More and more it looks like it will be a showdown between Barack Obama and John McCain (could they be more opposite?!?). The back-and-forth attacks between Clinton and Obama continued this week. Clinton knows she has no chance of winning so she’s going after every/anything she can. Clinton’s camp called out Obama for plagiarizing his speeches from Massachusett governor Deval Patrick. Obama’s defense was that Patrick used some of his lines as well (they share) so it’s ok. Dear Barack…if one person cheats it does not mean that cheating is ok. Would you jump off a bridge if your friends did? Ice cream makers Ben & Jerry have decided to put their 2 cents in to the presidential campaign by endorsing Barack Obama. If Oprah can’t drum up middle-age women voters for Obama decadent ice cream can! The Democrats aren’t the only ones making waves. John McCain was in the center of controversy when the NY Times ran an unsubstantiated piece about him and lobbyist Vicki Iseman…insinuating that they had an affair. McCain denied any such allegations and said that he was ashamed of the Times for printing a story with no actual proof to stand behind.
The Rewards of Being a Pop Star:
Jessica Simpson has been seemingly out of the headlines as of late. But she returned full swing this week. Ms. Simpson made a fitness video in 2005 that now she doesn’t want released to the public, and this is greatly affecting our country. According to Alex Astilean from Speedfit, the company that hired her for the video and is now suing her, “Jessica has been hurting millions of fat people in America.” At least one thing is looking up for Jess. Her most recent movie “Blonde Ambition”, the same one that crashed and burned in the U.S. has finally found a welcoming audience in…Ukraine. Although the movie only made $1,771 in the U.S. it raked in a still unimpressive $253,008 out East. America’s favorite pop star Ms. Britney Spears has been keeping busy as well. Her conservator, a.k.a. dad, officially put out a restraining order against Sam Lutfi (her former svengali-like manager). And in more good news Britney finally got to see her kids for the first time since January 3rd. Maybe seeing them will be motivation to get better. Singer Pink and her hubby motorcross racer Carey Hart are divorcing due to career demands (I have a feeling that there are more successful celebs who still manage to stay in relationships, but what do I know?). I guess a million tattoos and love for motorcycles does not a marriage make.
News Potpourri:
I'll leave you with some quick news tidbits that couldn't fit either here or there so they're getting their own paragraph! Fidel Castro, Cuba’s dictator for 49 years officially resigned from his “presidential” post. This is definitely a sign of change for the communist country. Cuba’s future all depends on who will run the country next…his brother Raul is first in line. If cloned meat without a label wasn’t enough incentive for you to become a vegetarian then maybe the largest beef recall in American history is. 143 million, yeah I meant to write million, pounds of beef was recalled after an undercover video showed sick cows being forced into the slaughterhouses. Lindsay Lohan proved yet again that she’s truly no icon on her own by recreating nude photos of Marilyn Monroe for NY Magazine (http://media.nymag.com/fashion/08/lindsay-as-marilyn/). With all of Hollywood getting preggers there is high demand for baby pictures. Harlow’s first pics, daughter of Nicole Richie and Joel Madden, went for a cool million. Max, son of Christina Aguilera and Jordan Bratman, was a little more pimp and pulled in $2 million. Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie haven’t officially announced her 2nd pregnancy (just take a look at her this past weekend http://perezhilton.com/2008-02-23-the-picture-says-it-all …I highly doubt that’s just a gas baby), but their baby pics will probably go for $4 million. The priciest baby pics go to Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony who just received 2 bundles of joy in the form of twins (a boy and a girl) and are estimated to receive $4-6 million. And speaking of kids, Angelina and Brad have yet another reason to celebrate, outside of the fact that they’re the hottest people on Earth, their adoption of Pax, their 4th child, became official. Reaction to Kosovo’s independence has led to tons of riots in the streets of Serbia; even the U.S. embassy was attacked. “Dancing With the Stars” announced their “celebrity” lineup for next season’s show deputing March 17th, and they are: Adam Carolla, Cristian De La Fuente, Shannon Elizabeth, Steve Guttenberg, Mario, Marlee Matlin, Penn Jillette, Priscilla Presley, Monica Seles, Jason Taylor, Marissa Jaret Winokur and Kristi Yamaguchi. If you want to know more about them you can check out:
http://www.people.com/people/package/gallery/0,,20055177_20178834_1,00.html. Jimmy Kimmel is hoping to return the favor to his girlfriend Sarah Silverman for her rendition of “I’m f*@king Matt Damon” by making his own video with Ben Affleck. I promise to pass it along to you the second I get my hands on it! In a scene straight out of a sci-fi movie the U.S. Navy announced plans to shoot down a failed spy satellite due to concern that toxic fuel on board the satellite could crash to earth and injure humans (Russia and China didn’t believe us and thought we were up to no good). Well the mission was a success, the missile hit the satellite and we’re all safe…for now :p
I hope this gives you an idea of what's going on in the world. Buck up…it's not so bad! The Oscars weren’t cancelled due to that pesky writer’s strike and Ukrainians love Jessica Simpson. All is right with the world!
Now go and have an intellectually stimulating conversation with your neighbor about what you've just learned.
http://www.people.com/people/package/gallery/0,,20055177_20178834_1,00.html. Jimmy Kimmel is hoping to return the favor to his girlfriend Sarah Silverman for her rendition of “I’m f*@king Matt Damon” by making his own video with Ben Affleck. I promise to pass it along to you the second I get my hands on it! In a scene straight out of a sci-fi movie the U.S. Navy announced plans to shoot down a failed spy satellite due to concern that toxic fuel on board the satellite could crash to earth and injure humans (Russia and China didn’t believe us and thought we were up to no good). Well the mission was a success, the missile hit the satellite and we’re all safe…for now :p
I hope this gives you an idea of what's going on in the world. Buck up…it's not so bad! The Oscars weren’t cancelled due to that pesky writer’s strike and Ukrainians love Jessica Simpson. All is right with the world!
Now go and have an intellectually stimulating conversation with your neighbor about what you've just learned.