T-Time Weekly News Update for the Week of April 22nd-28th 2008

Do you work all day and have no time or energy to find out what's going on in the world? Do you get bored and impatient watching TV anchors tell you over and over what's going on? Do you sometimes care more about what Britney Spears is doing than what President Bush said during his State of the Union address? If you answered yes to even one of these questions this is what you've been waiting for! Every week I'm going to give you a quick rundown of the past week's biggest headlines. I won't bore you with minute details and shove tons of information down your throats. These are just the facts with a little humor for measure! And if you want to know more you can always just Google it or ask me.

Celeb POP-pourri:

Celeb news has been all over the place so the stars are getting their own potpourri sash this week. Tween sensation, Miley Cyrus, has had quite a crazy week. First she signed a 7-figure deal for her memoirs. What kind of memoirs could a 15-year-old have?!? Then pictures of her in compromising positions with a boy and exposing her bra surfaced for which she abruptly apologized. But the kicker has to be the ‘Vanity Fair’ photo shoot and interview she did and now totally “regrets”. She posed for famed photographer Annie Leibovitz and one of the shots is of her semi-topless covered with a blanket and looking over her shoulder (reminder she’s only 15). http://www.vanityfair.com/culture/features/2008/06/miley_slideshow200806?slide=15#globalNav. Obvi Disney is freaking out that their #1 star is getting a little to frisky for their liking so they’re making sure she publicly denounces the entire thing.

Star Jones, of ‘The View’ fame and not much else, is divorcing her hubby after pimping out her wedding for all to see. When one thing ends another begins. Carmen Electra has just become engaged to Korn guitarist Rob Patterson. This will be her 3rd marriage…hopefully this one sticks. Those ‘Baywatch’ babes don’t have much luck in the long-term guy department. Beyonce and Jay-Z, although not confirming their marriage, filed a signed marriage license in NY. Mariah Carey has been “hanging out” with actor Nick Cannon, and rocked a ‘suspicious’ monster diamond on her ring finger…let’s see if this is legit. Carey is not one to fall into relationships. Jennifer Aniston and John Mayer have been seen having dinner together…another new couple story I’ll wait to confirm.

Tom Cruise’s adopted son Connor is making his film debut in Will Smith’s next movie. Could he seriously not get a part in one of his father’s films? Cruise, the elder, is revisiting the Oprah show Friday, May 2nd to talk about his 25 years in show business but more importantly Scientology, Katie, Suri, and the whole “couch-jumping (a.k.a. career ending)” incident!

TV’s holy grails, ‘Gossip Girl’ and ‘Grey’s Anatomy’ have finally returned after a too-long hiatus. You may all breathe a sigh of relief. JLo hasn’t let giving birth to twins keep her down. She and Marc Anthony are getting a reality show on TLC showing her life as a mogul and mom.

Actor Wesley Snipes was sentenced to 3 years in prison for failing to file tax returns…for almost 10 years!

Poli, Poli, Politics:

All 3 presidential candidates are taking this campaign to a whole new level…it’s getting physical. Check out these WWE, yeah you read that correctly-World Wrestling Entertainment, ads from each one of them: http://www.wwe.com/content/media/video/vms/raw/2008/april15-21/6913858?zone=_index. And if you were thirsty would you go for a “Hillary’s Bosnian Bull-shooter”, “Barack O’Bomber”, or “The Senior Moment”? Totally confused? Get all your burning questions answered here: http://www.mediabistro.com/tvnewser/generalities/whca_cocktails_campaigns_for_reuters_guests_83129.asp, and next time you’re out ask for your drink of choice! In all seriousness Senator Hillary Clinton beat Senator Barack Obama in the Pennsylvania primaries by 10 points, which technically keeps her in the Democratic race. Now they’re looking towards Indiana and North Carolina. Clinton is also trying to get Obama to do another debate against her, but he refuses. Obama’s controversial pastor, Reverend Wright, took some time-off but is back with a vengeance. He spoke at the National Press Club to “clarify” all the stories…listen (video and transcript) to him here to make your own opinion: http://www.nytimes.com/2008/04/28/us/politics/28text-wright.html?em&ex=1209528000&en=3d06e6c5b2bd0f3a&ei=5087%0A. First-daughter Jenna Bush, despite being born into a Republican dynasty, admitted on Larry King that she’s not sure who she’ll vote for (too busy writing books and planning her wedding) and thinks it’s good to keep your mind open. Her poppa, President G.W. Bush, had a little fun this week at his own expense. He was on the show ‘Deal or No Deal’ to cheer on an Iraqi war veteran playing for $1 million and joked that he was “thrilled to be anywhere that had high ratings”. The Prez was also the comedic relief at the White House Correspondents’ Dinner mocking himself and all 3 candidates hoping to fill his seat in the Oval Office.

News Potpourri:

I'll leave you with some quick news tidbits that couldn't fit either here or there so they're getting their own paragraph! The Boston Marathon, considered one of the harder marathons, happened this past week. Ethiopia’s Dire Tune came in 1st for the women and Kenya’s Robert K. Cheruiyot came in 1st for the men. Seven-time Tour de France champion Lance Armstrong finished the 26.2 mile race in 2:50:58. FHM Magazine came out with their list of the world’s hottest women: http://www.fhm.com/site/100sexiest/topten/one.aspx. Weird that they didn’t include T-Time…I’m calling for a boycott! The 3 NYC police officers accused of shooting and killing Sean Bell were acquitted of all charges. Late night TV is about to get a makeover. Conan O’Brien is slated to take over for Jay Leno on the ‘Tonight Show’, and former SNL star Jimmy Fallon will be filling in for Conan’s empty seat at ‘Late Night’. Suspenders have another chance to make a comeback…CNN’s Larry King had his contract extended. The Olympic Torch traveled through North Korea for the first time ever. The Tribeca Film Festival, New York City’s and Robert DeNiro’s answer to Robert Redford’s Utah based Sundance Film Festival, has taken over the city (http://www.tribecafilmfestival.org/). The bear from Will Ferrel’s most recent movie, ‘Semi-Pro’ attacked and killed his trainer. Just a friendly reminder..wild animals will always be wild no matter how many blockbuster movies they’ve been in. What would you do if you got stuck in an elevator for 41 hours? Here’s your video of the week: http://www.newyorker.com/online/video/2008/04/21/080421_elevators.
I hope this gives you an idea of what's going on in the world. Buck up…it's not so bad! Miley Cyrus is just filling the void that Britney left behind and the presidential hopefuls discovered that they have potential wrestling careers to fall back on. All is right with the world!

Now go and have an intellectually stimulating conversation with your neighbor about what you've just learned.

~t

You can also check this out on my official blog at http://ttimeupdate.blogspot.com/.

T-Time Weekly News Update for the Week of April 15th-21st 2008!

Do you work all day and have no time or energy to find out what's going on in the world? Do you get bored and impatient watching TV anchors tell you over and over what's going on? Do you sometimes care more about what Britney Spears is doing than what President Bush said during his State of the Union address? If you answered yes to even one of these questions this is what you've been waiting for! Every week I'm going to give you a quick rundown of the past week's biggest headlines. I won't bore you with minute details and shove tons of information down your throats. These are just the facts with a little humor for measure! And if you want to know more you can always just Google it or ask me.

Pop With Extra Fizz:

Rumors of Ashlee Simpson being pregnant hit fever pitch when reliable People Magazine reported she was expecting. In addition her father/manager has apparently been shopping around photo rights to her wedding and baby pics…but I still refuse to believe anything till I see a bump! Victoria, Posh Spice, Beckham got called out by the owner of Kitson boutique for not promoting her jeans line. But that didn’t dampen her spirit cause she still celebrated her b-day, which she shares with T-Time’s momma, in true super star style. Madonna continues to prove that she owns the world. She reportedly has signed on to perform 2 concerts in Dubai for the wholesale price of $25 million! Honestly…why even ask for that kind of money? She doesn’t even need it! Her new single ‘4 Minutes to Save the World’ is topping charts all over the world; it’s #1 in over 14 countries. I bet most people couldn’t even name 14 countries! “Recovering” addicts Lindsay Lohan and Amy Winehouse have both, on separate occasions, been caught falling/collapsing/flying off the wagon. Lohan was caught drinking tons of vodka and Red Bull while Winehouse was photographed smoking a joint. It’s great to see how successful rehab stints truly are. Ms. Britney Spears has been making the headlines again lately. She was finally ordered to pay $375,000 to cover her ex-hubby’s legal fees. On a brighter it looks like she’ll be guest-starring on ‘How I Met Your Mother’ again, and her scary former svengali-manager, Sam Lutfi, is still out of the picture. While her whole family has been focused on her recover, little pregnant teenage sis Jamie Lynn has been home alone in Louisiana dealing with impending motherhood, her new engagement, and house hunting. I’m glad to see the Spears clan has its priorities straight.

April 22nd…A Political Conspiracy?:

With the Pennsylvania primaries only a day away (Tuesday the 22nd-same as Earth Day…coincidence?!? Most likely :P) Democratic hopefuls Senator Hillary Clinton and Senator Barack Obama have really gone at each other’s throats. PA TV’s have been inundated with attack-ads from both sides. Now if the Dems could just get along life could be like this: http://wonkette.com/375036/obamahillary-spoof-of-popular-song-involving-matt. The McCain campaign hit a little bump in the road as well. An intern posted “McCain Family Recipes” online only to be caught plagiarizing word-for-word Rachel Ray recipes! Seriously…where’s quality control when you need it? I guess First Lady Laura Bush is trying out potential jobs for when she’s no longer in the White House because she’s co-hosting the Today show on, you guessed it, April 22nd! Cindy McCain must think her husband has the presidency in the bag cause she’s also been practicing for a 2nd career after the White House…she co-hosted The View on the 21st.

News Potpourri:

I'll leave you with some quick news tidbits that couldn't fit either here or there so they're getting their own paragraph! On a mournful note this week marked the 1-year anniversary of the tragic Virginia Tech shooting. Thoughts and prayers go out to all those involved. The Pope came and conquered the U.S. this past week. His 81st birthday was the 2nd day of his trip so like any party animal he celebrated by meeting with the leader of the free world, driving around in a pimp, scratch that, pope-mobile, hosting mass at both Washington Nationals and Yankee Stadium, and giving some speeches. Man that Pope is out of control! Harry Potter’ author J.K. Rowling is suing mad. She has always been supportive of fans, but when they start cutting into her profit she gets “evil wizard” on ‘em! Rowling is suing a fan who is planning on publishing a ‘Harry Potter Lexicon’…a.k.a. a Harry Potter encyclopedia which Rowling herself plans to publish as well. France’s government adopted a bill making it illegal to “promote thinness” as a way save young girls from potential eating disorders. Want to make a 20-something year old feel old? Tell them that MTV’s ‘The Real World’ has just debuted its 20th season! Nothing too new or exciting…6 beautiful, culturally different young people live together, get drunk, make out, and fight…that’s the real world baby! One step forward for women: Danica Patrick was the first woman to win an IndyCar race by coming in first in the Indy Japan 300 this past weekend. One step backward for women: a Yale student may have self-induced several abortions over a 9-month period all in the name of “art” (http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,351608,00.html). Super Bowl MVP Eli Manning capped off his stellar year by getting hitched to his college sweetheart in Mexico. Bill Cosby, your favorite Huxtable, is coming out with a rap album as a companion to his 2007 best-selling book. Sandra Bullock and her hubby were in a head-on car accident with a drunk-driver but no one was hurt. Lesson: DON’T DRINK AND DRIVE! Here’s your deep thought of the week: "I'd love to see a Stones show, but it's something I can never do, you know?" – Rolling Stones guitarist Keith Richards to Blender magazine.

I hope this gives you an idea of what's going on in the world. Buck up…it's not so bad! Earth Day is here and Passover is upon us! So grab some matzo ball soup and try to find a way to be more Earth-friendly this week!

Now go and have an intellectually stimulating conversation with your neighbor about what you've just learned.

~t

You can also check this out on my official blog at http://ttimeupdate.blogspot.com/.

T-Time Weekly News Update for the Week of April 8th-14th 2008

Do you work all day and have no time or energy to find out what's going on in the world? Do you get bored and impatient watching TV anchors tell you over and over what's going on? Do you sometimes care more about what Britney Spears is doing than what President Bush said during his State of the Union address? If you answered yes to even one of these questions this is what you've been waiting for! Every week I'm going to give you a quick rundown of the past week's biggest headlines. I won't bore you with minute details and shove tons of information down your throats. These are just the facts with a little humor for measure! And if you want to know more you can always just Google it or ask me.

The Young, The Old, The Beautiful:

Hugh Hefner proved that age is but a number when he celebrated his 82nd birthday like the true pimp that he is (Pam Anderson sang Happy Birthday to him in her own birthday suit!)! I guess the Beyonce/Jay Z wedding spread a cloud of love over celebridom because Sean Penn and his wife Robin Wright Penn have called off their divorce and are trying to work things out. Another relationship blossomed as well…Ashlee Simpson, Jessica’s younger sister, and Pete Wentz, heavily eye-lined guitarist from Fall Out Boy announced their engagement. Rumor has it she’s pregnant hence the shotgun wedding, but until I see a baby-bump I don’t believe the rumors. Ivana Trump, the Don’s first ex-wife, has married for the 4th time. The groom, Rossano Rubicondi, is 23 years her junior and is an “actor/model” or as some would say “fame-whoring gold-digger”. The White House Press Correspondents Association Dinner will be held on April 26th. Among the guests are respected politicians and journalists…oh and I forgot to mention Pam Anderson and Hills’ star Lauren Conrad…hopefully Pammie will cover up for this event! Although it seemed like Britney Spears was getting her act together she managed to get in a little trouble again. She was involved in a 3-car accident. Luckily no one was hurt, and it seems to have truly just been an accident. Ever wonder how much your fave celebs make? Check it out: http://www.usmagazine.com/How-Much-Money-Did-Miley-Cyrus-Earn-in-2007.

Spin the Globe:

What’s a little update without some international flava? The Venezuelan government, led by “fair and even-minded” President Hugo Chavez has decided to ban the cartoon “The Simpsons”. Officials consider it inappropriate for children so instead they will be airing reruns of “Baywatch Hawaii”…no joke! The Olympic torch may have survived its tour through San Francisco despite hundreds of protestors, but Olympics athletes in China are still forbidden from displaying the Tibetan flag during the games, even in the privacy of their rooms, because that falls under China’s government’s anti-propaganda laws. England’s Prince William received his Royal Air Force (RAF) “Wings”. Part of becoming nominal commander in chief a.k.a. King is training in all the military fields (I think America should take a cue from the motherland) so next up is the Navy. The Dalai Lama has been traveling and speaking throughout the U.S. but proved that he is only human by oversleeping for a meeting. ‘Where was his alarm clock?’ you may ask. He doesn’t own one because he doesn’t believe in owning too many material things. I’m quite impressed, but if I were the leader of a nation I would at least invest in one clock or have someone wake my butt up when needed. Italy has a new, scratch that, the same Prime Minister for the 3rd time in a row. Media mogul Silvio Berlusconi won yet again. He basically owns all the media throughout the country so this doesn’t come as much of a shock.

Political Merri-Go-Round:

Politics and the presidential race have continued to make headlines. Even Vice President Dick Cheney got in the action. After a picture of him fishing was posted online some conspiracy theorists claimed to see the image of a naked woman reflected in his sunglasses. I’m sorry to disappoint but it was just his hand holding the fishing rod. Take a look for yourselves: http://politicalhumor.about.com/od/funnypictures/ig/Funny-Pictures-of-the-Week/Cheney-Sunglasses-Close-Up.htm. Democratic candidate Hillary Clinton got some love from Elton John. Elton performed at a fundraiser and helped her raise $2.5 million. Clinton and fellow Democratic candidate Barack Obama have been going at each other trying to win Pennsylvania’s support. So far Clinton is leading. Clinton and Republican candidate John McCain attacked Obama for being too elitist for his comments regarding Pennsylvania’s working middle class. Obama called Clinton out on her stories of shooting with her dad and pictures of her drinking a beer and taking shots (seemingly trying to fit in with the people). Instead of taking their anger and aggression out on one another the should try this: http://www.therightfoot.net/mystuff/whatever/swf/bubblewrap.swf.

News Potpourri:

I'll leave you with some quick news tidbits that couldn't fit either here or there so they're getting their own paragraph! The release date for Tom Cruise’s new movie ‘Valkyrie’ has been delayed yet again. That’s never a good sign. I bet he regrets all the couch jumping now! George Clooney didn’t feel any movie love either. His new film ‘Leatherheads’ bombed at the box office. I guess the TV show ‘E.R.’ is feeling sympathy pains for Clooney cause it was announced that the series will be ending next year after 15 seasons. American Airlines has cancelled over 3,000 flights over the past week due to necessary safety inspections on their planes. Airports across the country were filled with even angrier than normal travelers. Disgraced Olympic runner Marion Jones not only shamed herself but also has now shamed her relay team members. She was forced to return her gold medals after she was caught lying about using steroids, and now her team members must return their medals as well. Here she comes Miss America. Well actually it’s Miss USA (the one Trump owns), and the winner is Miss Texas-Crystle Stewart. ‘Full House’ star Jodie Sweetin (Stephanie) gave birth to her first child, a baby girl, and Oscar-winning actress Cate Blanchett gave birth to her 3rd son. ‘Project Runway’ is leaving Bravo and moving to Lifetime…make sure your DVRs are updated when the next season begins. In case you were wondering why all of young Hollywood seems to have a sex-tape you can blame it on some older icons. A Marilyn Monroe sex tape, from before she became a star, has just been sold to a N.Y. businessman for $1.5 million. And here’s your video of the week: http://perezhilton.com/tv/?videoid=074962aab6723.

I hope this gives you an idea of what's going on in the world. Buck up…it's not so bad! Earth Day is only a week away (April 22nd) and Ivana Trump has finally found true love! All is right with the world!

Now go and have an intellectually stimulating conversation with your neighbor about what you've just learned.

~t

T-Time Weekly News Update for the Week of April 1st-7th 2008

Do you work all day and have no time or energy to find out what's going on in the world? Do you get bored and impatient watching TV anchors tell you over and over what's going on? Do you sometimes care more about what Britney Spears is doing than what President Bush said during his State of the Union address? If you answered yes to even one of these questions this is what you've been waiting for! Every week I'm going to give you a quick rundown of the past week's biggest headlines. I won't bore you with minute details and shove tons of information down your throats. These are just the facts with a little humor for measure! And if you want to know more you can always just Google it or ask me.

Diva Update:

Some of our favorite divas were making headlines this past week. Both Madonna and Mariah Carey beat separate Elvis records. Mariah’s new single ‘Touch My Body’ went to #1 on the Billboard Hot 100 Singles chart making it her 18th song to hit #1 (Elvis previously held the record with 17 songs). The only thing standing in her way of being the ultimate record holder is a small English band called The Beatles (they have 20 #1 songs)! Not to be outdone Madonna broke an Elvis record as well. Madonna’s new single ‘4 Minutes’ is her 37th Top 10 hit which means she has now surpassed Elvis Presley with the most Top 10s. The ultimate R&B/Hip Hop collaboration happened this past Friday when Beyoncé and Jay-Z got hitched. The couple have yet to confirm the reports, but 6 years of dating + a NY marriage license + white tent full of white flowers + celebrity guests in dresses and tuxes = wedding. Naomi Campbell proved yet again that beauty will only get you so far when you have a severe anger and violence problem. Campbell was arrested yet again this time for causing a raucous on a plane and spitting on a police officer in London’s Heathrow Airport. I can’t blame the poor girl though…the airline wouldn’t let her bring ALL of her luggage on the plane…how rude!

Olympic Sized Drama:

The Olympics keep stirring up controversy. Riots and protests are breaking out all over the world. When it was announced that the Olympics would be held in China protesters began fighting the games. They are fighting China’s cruel control over Tibet. During the initial torch-lighting ceremony in Greece protesters tried to break up the ceremony. Now the torch is traveling through Paris and is receiving more attacks. The torch had to be extinguished twice and eventually was placed on a bus for safety. Apparently this in not only an international issue…climbers in San Francisco scaled the Golden Gate Bridge and put up massive banners saying ‘One World, One Dream. Free Tibet’ and “Free Tibet 08”. President Bush and other political leaders are being asked to boycott the games this year.

Knock, Knock. Who’s There? The Next President:

The presidential campaign continues to roll out fun and exciting news. April Fool’s brought out the silly side of the candidates. Hillary Clinton has lightened up a bit and even made a few jokes. To see what she challenged Barack Obama to check out: http://www.redlasso.com/ClipPlayer.aspx?id=71435656-84aa-406d-9d97-e125e9b3aee9. John McCain also let loose and poked fun at David Letterman on ‘The Late Show’ (even copying his mannerisms): http://youtube.com/watch?v=0_I3Gr-O2Ak. Clinton’s campaign finally released their tax returns from 2000 through 2006 with some 2007 information as well. Between the 2 Clintons they brought in almost $109 million. FYI…your tax return is due April 15th…so you better get on top of that. Since Obama and Clinton are still duking it out for their party’s nomination, McCain is continuing to focus on a VP candidate. Rumors have begun to swirl that Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice may want the position. McCain received a monster endorsement…Heidi Montag (from 'The Hills’ “fame”) said she would vote for him. Unfortunately Ms. Montag isn’t registered to vote. Don’t be like Heidi and register to vote at: http://rockthevote.com/.

News Potpourri:

I'll leave you with some quick news tidbits that couldn't fit either here or there so they're getting their own paragraph! March Madness has come to an official end and the Final 4 has become the Final 1…Kansas beat Memphis (75-68) to win the NCAA Championship title! Science has taken a twisted turn. Scientists in England made a human/cow embryo by combining a cow egg with a human cell, but the embryo only lasted 3 days. Oprah had the pregnant man on her show. The transgender man is really a woman who transitioned into a man but kept her reproductive organs and is now expecting his/her first child (try to keep up). On a lighter note the New Kids On the Block reunion on the Today show was kind of anticlimactic cause they didn’t even perform. But no worries…they will be back to perform May 16th! Comedian Jerry Seinfeld had a little scare when his car’s brakes failed and his car flipped over, but he was able to walk away unhurt. Academy Award winner and National Rifle Association president Charlton Heston passed away at the ripe age of 84. Princess Diana can finally rest in peace. A jury in London concluded that her death was a combination result of her driver being drunk and the paparazzi chasing their car. I feel like it’s my duty as a distributor of important information to warn you of a cereal recall. Malt-O-Meal cereal is being recalled due to fears of salmonella contamination. For more info check out: http://money.cnn.com/news/newsfeeds/articles/djf500/200804071558DOWJONESDJONLINE000590_FORTUNE5.htm and get rid of the cereal if you have it in your pantry. Pam Anderson isn’t letting a 3rd divorce keep her down. It has just been announced that she is getting her own reality show on the E! Channel. Matt Damon and Sarah Silverman continue to rub their love affair into Jimmy Kimmel’s face. To celebrate Kimmel’s 1,000th show they put this ad in the Daily Variety: http://www.people.com/people/article/0,,20188213,00.html.

I hope this gives you an idea of what's going on in the world. Buck up…it's not so bad! The Clintons only made $109 million more than you and Pammie is coming back to the small screen. All is right with the world!

Now go and have an intellectually stimulating conversation with your neighbor about what you've just learned.

~t

You can also check this out on my official blog at http://ttimeupdate.blogspot.com/.

T-Time Weekly News Update for the Week of March 24th-31st 2008

Do you work all day and have no time or energy to find out what's going on in the world? Do you get bored and impatient watching TV anchors tell you over and over what's going on? Do you sometimes care more about what Britney Spears is doing than what President Bush said during his State of the Union address? If you answered yes to even one of these questions this is what you've been waiting for! Every week I'm going to give you a quick rundown of the past week's biggest headlines. I won't bore you with minute details and shove tons of information down your throats. These are just the facts with a little humor for measure! And if you want to know more you can always just Google it or ask me.

Spears, Spears Everywhere:

So a little teenage pregnancy and bi-polar disorder can’t keep the Spears clan down. Slowly and surely both Britney and younger sister Jamie-Lynn have been regaining their footing. Ms. Spears has been cleaning up her act. She had a guest role on ‘How I Met Your Mother’. Check out the highlight clip here: http://youtube.com/watch?v=44ivR3k0pa8. Britney’s dad is still her legal conservator which means he controls everything she does. She’s seeing her kids a few times a week, and she’s opening up a dance studio. Jamie-Lynn has also had a busy week. Little Ms. Spears is officially engaged to her baby-daddy. She also guest-starred on Ashton Kutcher’s new show ‘Miss Guided’. Hopefully she won’t continue to follow in her sister’s footsteps cause that would be just too much craziness to handle!

Getting Sporty On You:

T-Time prides itself in making the loyal readers well-rounded conversationalists so in honor of March Madness, in addition to the celeb gossip and political roller coaster, I’m going to fill you up with some sports news. The madness is slowly coming to an end with the Final Four in place. North Carolina, Tennessee, Kansas and UCLA will be duking it out for the NCAA title and the title as the best men’s basketball team in the nation. What makes this Final Four even more special is that they are each ranked #1 in their respective divisions. Tennis champ Serena Williams has been seen all over town with rapper Common. Common must be quite comfortable with his masculinity if he can date a Williams sister! Another tennis champ has found true love. Cutie Andy Roddick has found “the one” in the form of a Sports Illustrated swimsuit model, Brooklyn Decker. The pair just announced their engagement. And God’s gift to Earth and soccer star/stud, David Beckham made his 100th appearance (or cap if you want to sound super intelligent and European) for England. He’s only the 5th English player to hold such an honor. Could he be more perfect? I think not!

Love Celeb Style:

This was not a good week for celeb relationships. Couples were officially dropping like flies!
1) Denise Richards officially dropped the married last name ‘Sheen’, as in Charlie Sheen, and had the tattoo of his name covered up with a fairy.
2) Pam Anderson and Rick Salomon finally had their quickie marriage annulled
3) Jackass star Johnny Knoxville’s wife had had enough a while ago, but their divorce just came through.
4) Robin Williams and his wife of 19 years, 2nd wife who used to be his nanny when he was with the first wife (keep up!), Marsha Garces Williams are getting divorced as well.

Red, White and 3 Candidates:

After a quick Easter break the race was back on. Even presidential hopefuls have to deal with privacy protection. It was discovered that 3 State Department contract workers breached Barack Obama’s, Hillary Clinton’s and John McCain’s passport files. Nothing too personal was leaked. Clinton “misremembered” her trip to Bosnia in the 90’s claiming she was under heavy attack when really it was a pretty pleasant welcome. Obama took a break from campaigning to go bowling and proved that he’s a much better speaker than bowler. Someone finally crossed the line and asked Chelsea Clinton, who’s been out stumping for her mom) about the whole Lewinsky scandal, and she wasn’t having any of it (her exact words were “it’s none of your business”)! McCain has been busy trying to keep his name in the news. Now he’s traveling the country reminding the people what true Americans he and his family are (in addition to him, his grandfather, father and son have all served for the U.S.A.) If you’re finding it difficult to choose a candidate maybe you need to think outside the box. Instead of who has the better healthcare plan you should ask yourself who do I like more, Brad Pitt or Angelina Jolie? Confused? Check out the candidates and their celeb relatives: http://www.usmagazine.com/pitt_related_to_obama_jolie_to_clinton.

News Potpourri:

I'll leave you with some quick news tidbits that couldn't fit either here or there so they're getting their own paragraph! Lots of false rumors have been flying around the Internet. There is no sex tape, at least not at this point in time, of Lindsay Lohan and her ex-boyfriend Calum Best. The sexually explicit photos of ‘Sex and the City’s’ Kristin Davis, a.k.a. Charlotte, may or may not be legit…the jury’s still out on that. And Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie did not get married. Oprah gave the world another reason to want to be her best friend. She bought her bff, Gayle King, a $7M New York City apartment (the lease is under the name of one of the big O’s many companies). New Kids On the Block are officially getting back together and performing on the Today show this Friday!!! First the Spice Girls, then 90210, and now NKOTB?!? I think the big guy upstairs is finally listening! KFC (Kentucky Fried Chicken) is officially changing its name to KGC (Kentucky Grilled Chicken) so now you don’t have to feel as guilty when you order the bucket o’ wings! Demi Moore admitted to having leech therapy done for health benefits. What happened to a simple nip and tuck procedure? Flying out of New York potentially just got a lot more uncomfortable. On Tuesday, a federal appeals court said “heck no” to an attempt by New York to create a Passenger Bill of Rights which would force airlines to provide food, water and working restrooms for fliers stuck at New York airports. Senator Charles Schumer is trying to fight this and create a national bill, but for now next time you fly make sure you stock up on snacks and steer clear of drinking too many liquids!

I hope this gives you an idea of what's going on in the world. Buck up…it's not so bad! Britney may soon be back to normal and KFC just became a whole lot “healthier”. All is right with the world!

Now go and have an intellectually stimulating conversation with your neighbor about what you've just learned.

~t

You can also check this out on my official blog at http://ttimeupdate.blogspot.com/.