T-Time
Weekly News Update for the Week of September 16th-22nd 2008

Do you work all day and have no time or energy to find out what's going on in the world? Do you get bored and impatient watching TV anchors tell you over and over what's going on? Do you sometimes care more about what Britney Spears is doing than what President Bush said during his State of the Union address? If you answered yes to even one of these questions this is what you've been waiting for! Every week I'm going to give you a quick rundown of the past week's biggest headlines. I won't bore you with minute details and shove tons of information down your throats. These are just the facts with a little humor for measure! And if you want to know more you can always just Google it or ask me.

Shiny Stars:

Former Blink 182 drummer and MTV reality star Travis Barker and celeb DJ/Nicole Richie's ex-fiance DJ AM both survived a deadly plane crash. Their private jet crashed in South Carolina killing 4 people including the 2 pilots and 2 other passengers. Both Barker and AM are being treated for severe burns at the Joseph M. Still Burn Center in Atlanta, Georgia. Travis apparently had burns to his torso and lower body while AM suffered burns to his face/head and arms. Both are expected to fully recover.

Personally things are looking up for Lindsay Lohan. She seems sober and in love. But her professional career is leaving something to be desired. What's a starlet to do when her stock is plummeting?!? Put your name and face on everything! Lohan just started a brand development firm called Stay Gold that will focus on her leggings line, self-tanner, and other very important items. She will also guest judge in the season premiere of Project Runway. Jessica Simpson may have finally found some musical success. Her new country album topped the country charts. Let's see how long the country folk put up with her! Britney's mom, Lynne, has been busy promoting her book. Despite selling out both her daughters the family actually seems to be getting along.

Sex and The City II?!? It may happen! Rumors have been swirling and the stars of the movie have all said they would do it if the story is good enough...a.k.a. they'll totally make a sequel once salary negotiations are finalized!!! Candace Bushnell, the author of the book that sparked the TV phenomenon, just announced that she will write about Carrie's teenage years in high school so we can know more about her past...or so a younger generation will get hooked and continue to watch reruns and DVDs :p Mark, Marky Mark, Wahlberg just welcomed his 3rd child (2nd son) with girlfriend/fiance/ baby mamma Rhea Durham. If they keep popping them out he'll soon have his own "funky bunch". Amy Poehler announced that she will leave SNL after the birth of her baby sometime in November. The Emmys aired this past Sunday, and they were super BORING and CHEESY. Apparently I wasn't the only one who felt this way cause it was the lowest rated Emmys show in its history. The big winners were 30 Rock for Outstanding Comedy and Mad Men for Outstanding Drama. To see the full list of winners go here.

If you, like me, are obsessed with celebs you'll probably want your children to get a head start! And what better way than with celebrity Lego people?!?

43 Days and Counting:

GOP VP pick Sarah Palin's personal Yahoo email account was hacked, and emails were leaked to several websites. Although nothing too personal or juicy was found, it's still a huge breach of privacy. The hacker is 20-year-old University of Tennessee student David Kernell who also happens to be the son of Democratic State Rep Mike Kernell. Not only is Sarah Palin a rock star, but now her husband is getting his 15 minutes of fame. Fox News' Greta Van Susteren interviewed Todd Palin a.k.a. the "First Dude". If you want to know know more about the man behind bespectacled woman you can check out the interview here. Senator Barack Obama decided that raising over $66M in August just wouldn't cut it and received even more money with a celeb-filled fundraiser starring Barbara Streisand. Dinner and a private show from Babs only set the attendees back a measly $28,500 each. One celebrity not getting a warm welcome from Obama is Lindsay Lohan. The rehabbed starlet offered to host some events for the presidential nominee, but Obama's campaign said "No, thank you". With the line between celebrity and politician sometimes blurred in this election, it's not surprising that videos like this are popping up everywhere! Poor Joe Biden, the Democratic VP pick, hasn't been getting much air time lately. Well he's not going to take it anymore! In a recent TV interview Biden stated that paying high taxes is patriotic. That comment caused a little tizzy, but that's all. Sorry Biden...you are no match for the Palin machine. A new AP-Yahoo News poll found that some white Democrats' racial views regarding black people could possibly affect their vote despite their party affiliation.

What you didn't register/re-register to vote yet? Must have slipped your mind…I'm sure. T-Time did it and so should you!

Pinstripes for Everyone:

If this were a blog for VH1's Best Week Ever then the Yankees would be having the best week EVER! Derek Jeter broke Lou Gherig's record for all-time hits with 1,270! ARod finally settled his divorce with now ex-wife Cynthia. That lady is probably set for life! But the biggest Yankees news by far is that the "House that Ruth built", Yankee Stadium, held its last game this past Sunday. Old players joined current players and fans galore to bid adieu to the historic stadium. Even Babe Ruth's daughter threw out the first pitch. It is truly the end of an era. A newer, larger, shinier, prettier stadium is taking its place. The worst part about this is that the old stadium isn't even being kept as a memorial, but will be torn down! Businessmen can be so cold-blooded sometimes.

News Potpourri:

I'll leave you with some quick news tidbits that couldn't fit either here or there so they're getting their own paragraph! United Airlines is now doubling the "2nd checked bag fee" to $50. I could travel with just a carry on and buy stuff when I land for less than $50!!! Magician/crazy stuntman David Blaine is at it again. He is hanging upside down above the ice skating rink in New York's Central Park for 60 hours! Doctors have warned him about all the potential health risks, including blindness, but that never seems to stop the crazy daredevil. Israel's Foreign Affairs Minister Tzipi Livni won the Kadima Party's primary election after Prime Minister Ehud Olmert announced that he would not go up for re-election and would actually resign from his post. She could potentially become Israel's first Prime Minister since Golda Meir. Genetically altered meats are slowly making their way to your dinner table. The FDA is continuing to research and approve certain producers of this special meat, there are even claims that this meat will be good for humans. I'd rather become a vegetarian and watch what happens to my fellow man after 5 years of eating cloned meat than trust the government's word. Don't forget...once the FDA approves this they will not require labels warning you that the meat is genetically altered!!! The U.S. Embassy in Yemen was bombed killing 16 people. Authorities are still not sure who is to blame, but six men have been arrested in connection with the attack. Oprah announced her new book club pick...The Story of Edgar Sawtelle by David Wroblewski. It's probably sold out everywhere, but you'll eventually be able to get your hands on it when some housewife puts her copy up for sale online. And tennis star Serena Williams will be writing her memoir. The Wall Street crisis is affecting everyone differently. These 2 men just needed to hug it out. General David Petraeus, the man leading our troops in Iraq was just promoted to head the U.S. Central Command and will be leaving Iraq. Lieutenant General Raymond Odierno will replace him. Waldo of Where's Waldo? fame just turned 21! I personally thought he was already in his 30s when I was a kid. To honor this milestone Waldo is getting a Facebook and MySpace account. You all should totally friend him!

I hope this gives you an idea of what's going on in the world. Buck up…it's not so bad! Waldo is 21 and there will most likely be a Sex and The City II!!! All is right with the world!

Now go and have an intellectually stimulating conversation with your neighbor about what you've just learned.

~t

You can also check this out on my official blog.

T-Time

Weekly News Update for the Week of September 9th-15th 2008

Do you work all day and have no time or energy to find out what's going on in the world? Do you get bored and impatient watching TV anchors tell you over and over what's going on? Do you sometimes care more about what Britney Spears is doing than what President Bush said during his State of the Union address? If you answered yes to even one of these questions this is what you've been waiting for! Every week I'm going to give you a quick rundown of the past week's biggest headlines. I won't bore you with minute details and shove tons of information down your throats. These are just the facts with a little humor for measure! And if you want to know more you can always just Google it or ask me.

Celeb Multitaskers:

This has truly been Ellen DeGeneres' year. Not only did she get married, but she has just been named the new face of CoverGirl. I could see her wife, Portia de Rossi, but Ellen doesn't come off as a makeup kind of gal. I sacrificed even more brain cells, all for you my loyal readers, and watched the casting special for Paris Hilton's new BFF show. OMG...i couldn't believe how bad, cheesy, and fake the show is. I think this is a new low for the heiress. I recommend you don't waste your time and/or DVR space. MTV may be known for mind-numbing TV programming, but their reality stars are money makers. The Hills star Lauren Conrad just signed a 3-book deal with HarperCollins, Tila Tequila is coming out with a book to tell her story of being born to Vietnamese immigrants and then becoming a bisexual, MySpace star, and VH1 reality star David Otunga, a.k.a. Punk from I Love NY 2, just got engaged to Oscar winner Jennifer Hudson.

Actress Minnie Driver, finally popped out her baby boy. His name is Henry Story Driver, but the father's name is still a mystery. Britney Spears threw a double birthday part for her sons who turned 3 and 2 respectively. And she just announced that her new album will be titled Circus and debut on her 27th bday, December 2nd. JLo may have tamed her diva ways by getting married to Marc Anthony and giving birth to twins, but you can't keep that 'tude down for long! Ms. Lopez was supposed to be the guest judge at the Project Runway finale but bailed due to a "foot injury" (I'm sure you all understand how important feet are to judging runway shows). But the injury did not keep her from competing in her first triathlon in Malibu and then immediately jetting to NYC to celebrate her hubby's 40th birthday. Gwen Stefani is branching out in her own clothing line. She will be designing the new uniforms for W Hotel employees.

Michael Jackson may have turned the big 5-0, but he can't escape his problems. The King of Pop's private items, including the underwear used in his molestation case investigation, are being sold on eBay. You better get those PayPal accounts up and ready! Anne Hathaway's shady ex-boyfriend, Raffaello Follieri, pleaded guilty to conspiracy, fraud, and money laundering. Kanye West was arrested at LAX for attacking a paparazzo and breaking his camera. He was released shortly thereafter and probably won't be charged with anything too severe.
Star Jones has finalized her divorce from Al Reynolds. I'm still so shocked that never worked out. Star seems like such a pleasant and easy-going person. When one door closes another opens. Gal pals Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson may be getting hitched by the end of this year...at least that's what Ronson was heard telling someone.

Ashton Kutcher's career is doing sooooo well that he's decided to become an assistant football coach at Harvard-Westlake, a private L.A. prep school. Good to see that marrying Demi Moore has really elevated his star power. Bruce Willis is probably laughing his butt off on some yacht with a hot 20-year-old by his side. Whoever said movie stars and models aren't smart never met these superstars. Supermodel Christy Turlington just enrolled in Columbia to study maternal and child health, Chelsea Clinton will be joining her there to get her graduate degree in public health policy, and actors James Franco and Haley Joel Osment are both students at NYU.

The Country Music Awards nominations were announced. If you're interested to see if your fave honky tonk starts were nominated you can check out the full list here. The show will air Wednesday, November 12th on ABC. If cowboy boots and leather fringe aren't your thing but awards shows are then it's your lucky weekend. The 60th Annual Primetime Emmys will air this Sunday, September 21st on ABC. In case you forgot who was nominated...here's the list. The lesser-watched Creative Emmys happened this weekend, and one of our fave videos of the week I'm F**king Matt Damon star Sarah Silverman went home with an Emmy of her own for "outstanding original music and lyrics".

50 Days and Counting:

Who would have guessed that a little tube of lipstick could take over the presidential campaign? It all innocently began when GOP VP pick Sarah Palin commented that the only difference between a hockey mom and a pitbull was lipstick during her acceptance speech at the convention. Then Senator Barack Obama used the phrase "a pig in lipstick is still a pig" during a speech where he was bashing Senator John McCain's proposed policies. And then the McCain campaign took that comment and made a commercial about how sexually biased the Obama campaign is. Both comments were just commonly used jokes/phrases...get a lilfe politicians!!! Palin also had her big interview with ABC's Charles Gibson. It was broken down into several interviews which you can watch for yourself.

Obama's campaign went after McCain for being out-of-date, especially since he's admitted to not knowing how to use a computer or send e-mails. Obama has also been busy making his media rounds. He went on with David Letterman Obama was supposed to be on SNL with Michael Phelps but cancelled last-minute due to Hurricane Ike. He also had another financial huge month. His campaign raked in a cool $66M for the month of August.

Celebrities are coming out of the woodwork to express their great distaste for Mrs. Palin. Matt Damon said a Palin presidency would be like a really bad Disney movie, Pink thinks Palin hates women and is the furthest thing from a feminist, and Lindsay Lohan thinks Palin is media obsessed and a homophobe.

Another star turned politician has found success in the political world. Comedian and former SNL star, Al Franken, won the Democratic nomination for Minnesota Senate seat.

What you didn't register/re-register to vote yet? Must have slipped your mind…I'm sure. T-Time did it and so should you!

How Many Languages Do You Speak?:

The international community has had the audacity to try and take over the headlines.

Asif Ali Zardari, husband of the late Benazir Bhutto, became the new President of Pakistan. He took over for shamed President, Pervez Musharraf.

Russian prosecutors want to ban the cartoon South Park cause they consider it "extremist". That sounds more like an excuse you would here in China or Cuba, but not Russia!

North Korean Leader/Dictator Kim Jong Il has been causing a lot of concern. The ever-present ruler was missing at an important government holiday event. Rumors were swirling that he died months ago and has had body doubles posing on his behalf, but the truth seems to be that he suffered a stroke and he's too frail to make a public appearance.

News Potpourri:

I'll leave you with some quick news tidbits that couldn't fit either here or there so they're getting their own paragraph! This past Thursday was the unfortunate 7th Anniversary of September 11th. There were memorials held at each of the sites and across the county. Both Obama and McCain went to Ground Zero to pay their condolences. NYC's 911 system is now accepting videos, pictures, and text messages to assist in reporting emergencies. And speaking of emergencies...Hurricane Ike has beyond ravaged Texas, especially the town of Galveston. The storm cost cost the U.S. almost $22B...putting it behind Katrina ('05) and Andrew ('92). This past weekend was a dark, dark time for Wall Street. Two of the countries largest investment banks crashed. Lehman Brothers filed for Chapter 11 Bankruptcy cause no other company would bail them out, Merrill Lynch was bought out by Bank of America, and AIG is holding on for dear life! On a positive note, Burn After Reading, the new Coen bros, Brad Pitt and George Clooney movie came in #1 at the box office with a surprise $20M open. It's an end of an era. MTV's TRL will be airing its final episode in November. Although the show basically stopped playing videos, it's still sad to see the classic go. Lance Armstrong has announced that he will return to compete in his 8th Tour de France. And in honor of Sarah Silverman's Emmy here's your video of the week.

I hope this gives you an idea of what's going on in the world. Buck up…it's not so bad! Ellen DeGeneres is a CoverGirl and pigs and pitbulls are rocking lipstick!!! All is right with the world!

Now go and have an intellectually stimulating conversation with your neighbor about what you've just learned.

~t

You can also check this out on my official blog.

T-Time

Weekly News Update for the Week of August 26th-September 3rd 2008

Do you work all day and have no time or energy to find out what's going on in the world? Do you get bored and impatient watching TV anchors tell you over and over what's going on? Doyou sometimes care more about what Britney Spears is doing than what President Bush said during his State of the Union address? If you answered yes to even one of these questions this is what you've been waiting for! Every week I'm going to give you a quick rundown of the past week's biggest headlines. I won't bore you with minute details and shove tons of information down your throats. These are just the facts with a little humor for measure! And if you want to know more you can always just Google it or ask me.

*I apologize for the delayed T-Time this week. Holidays throw me off. But you have to admit that you probably wouldn't have read this till tonight anyway...so its all good in the hood!

Not Always A Sunny Day in Hollywood:

Kate Hudson is not only having bad luck in love but in law as well. She and her hairstylist, David Babaii, are being sued for stealing the idea to their volcanic ash hair product line. Why do famous people not get the fact that whatever they do will be all over the place?!? Nowhere to hide! A tragedy hit the family of hip-hop legend Dr. Dre. His 20 year-old son, Andre Young Jr., was found dead at the family home. Police have ruled out foul play, and the toxicology results have yet to be revealed. Times are tough, gas prices are high, and no one is getting hit harder than celebs. PDiddy has temporarily retired his private jet and is now flying commercial and coach! What has a world come to if even Diddy has to cut back on costs?!? English actress Helen Mirren just got very candid in a recent interview admitting that she used to do tons of coke and other drugs, was date raped a few times, and other wild stories.

The 25th MTV VMAs are airing this Sunday, September 7th. Rumors have been swirling whether Ms. Brit Brit would show, AND... she will! Shes not performing, but she is opening up the show. That should be reason enough to watch! The original pop star gone freak show, Michael Jackson, turned the big 5-0! First Madonna and now MJ...it looks like 50 is the new rehab. Olympic phenom Michael Phelps is becoming a celeb in his own right. He will be hosting the September 13th season premiere of Saturday Night Live. Hes also been to Disney World with Mickey Mouse, is starting a foundation with his $1M bonus from Speedo, and he will be one of the stars on Oprah's Olympics special.

Tony Soprano, actor James Gandolfini, got hitched to his fiancée Deborah Lin. Pictures of Halle Berry's baby have finally come out...and not surprisingly the baby is gorgeous. Speaking of babies...Tiger Woods and his wife, Elin, are expecting their 2nd child together, and funnyman David Spade just became a father to a baby girl (mother is Playboy model Jillian Grace).

77 Days and Counting:

Unless youve been living under a rock and/or not reading T-Time, you know that the Democratic National Convention came to an end and the Republication National Convention has begun. Before anything could start Senator John McCain named his VP (on the day of his 72nd birthday), and the winner is...Alaska Governor Sarah Palin! The RNC was off to a rough and delayed start due to Hurricane Gustav approaching Louisiana and some protester riots. But no crazy damage was done, and the show had to go on! Senator John McCain's wife, Cindy, spoke, as did current First Lady Laura Bush, and President Bush (via video...he had to stay in D.C. to deal with Gustav). "America's Mayor" Rudy Guiliani and Mrs. Palin spoke this evening. Giuliani took some big jabs at the Dems, but not as big as Palin's. Palin's speech was highly anticipated cause she has been beyond ripped apart in the media since the VP announcement. Her 17 year-old daughter, Bristol, is 5 months pregnant, her experience is being questioned as is her ability to take office while care for her family (something not brought up to the male candidates), but she did not decide to delve into her personal life.

The DNC ran pretty smoothly. Senator Barack Obama officially became the first black candidate to lead a major party ticket accepting his position. Both Clintons spoke. Hillary gave her 18M votes to Obama. She even poked fun at her famous pantsuits. One man not at the convention? Senator John Edwards. Rumor has it he can barely get people to return his phone calls. I guess being a cheat doesn't always pay off. Two men were arrested for planning an Obama assassination.

What you didn't register/re-register to vote yet? Must have slipped your mind...Im sure. T-Time did it and so should you!

News Potpourri:

I'll leave you with some quick news tidbits that couldn't fit either here or there so they're getting their own paragraph! Talk about weird news...a 20-mile cancer cluster has been discovered in PA (where residents have higher risk levels of getting a rare blood cancer). I wouldn't drink the water if I lived between Hazleton and Tamaqua. Friday, September 5th ABC, NBC, and CBS will simultaneously broadcast the "Stand Up For Cancer" Telethon, a huge celebrity sponsored event to help fund the search for a cure and increase awareness. The Lego Minifigure, the little man amidst your Lego blocks, turned 30! An FAA computer failure stalled a majority of East Coast flights earlier in the week (not the first time either)! The Bloomberg financial newswire accidentally published Apple CEO Steve Jobs' obituary. No worries...he's still alive and so are all things "i". Unfortunately Peanuts animator and voice of Snoopy, Bill Melendez, passed away at the age of 91. Facebook is becoming a movie. I wonder if it'll do as well as Batman: The Dark Knight, which just became only the 2nd movie in history to reach the $500M mark. The Southern parts of the U.S. and the Caribbean are being ravaged by storm after storm. It began with Hurricane/Tropical Storm Gustav and has continued with Tropical Storm Hanna, Hurricane Ike, and Tropical Storm Josephine. Hopefully all the storms will pass quickly and with little damage. The Tennis U.S. Open games will be coming to an end this coming weekend...watch out for an almost definite Nadal/Federer rematch. Google continued its clench on all things Internet when it unveiled its own internet browser called Chrome. With summer coming to an end all of your favorite and some new TV shows are coming back...so get your DVRs ready!

I hope this gives you an idea of what's going on in the world. Buck up...it's not so bad! Britney's back, and the presidential campaign keeps on getting more and more interesting! All is right with the world!

Now go and have an intellectually stimulating conversation with your neighbor about what you've just learned.

~t

You can also check this out on my official blog.

T-Time
Weekly News Update for the Week of September 4th-8th 2008

Do you work all day and have no time or energy to find out what's going on in the world? Do you get bored and impatient watching TV anchors tell you over and over what's going on? Do you sometimes care more about what Britney Spears is doing than what President Bush said during his State of the Union address? If you answered yes to even one of these questions this is what you've been waiting for! Every week I'm going to give you a quick rundown of the past week's biggest headlines. I won't bore you with minute details and shove tons of information down your throats. These are just the facts with a little humor for measure! And if you want to know more you can always just Google it or ask me.

The MTV Generation:

The MTV VMAs aired Sunday night, and they were blah, blah, and more blah. It was the 25th annual show so the producers tried to infuse some old school faves but with modern touches...i.e. Katy Perry singing 30 seconds of Madonna's Like a Virgin, Miley Cyrus playing Bon Jovi's Living on a Prayer on Guitar Hero, and even Pete Wentz and Ashlee Simpson-Wentz mocking the infamously creepy Michael Jackson and Lisa Marie Presley moment. Host Russell Brand, a British comedian only really known to the American public for his role in Forgetting Sarah Marshall, was a big fat dud. He made several politically charged comments, and then continued to rail on the poor Jonas Brothers for wearing promise rings (promising to stay virgins till marriage). The big star of the night was Ms. Britney Spears. I'll start with the positive...she looked phenomenal, she did a kind of cute skit with Superbad star Jonah Hill in the beginning, finally won her first (3 in all) VMA Moonmen, and had 2 outfit changes like a true pop diva. But the girl was obviously ridiculously nervous and possibly sedated (with each win she basically repeated herself verbatim). Hey...at least she had the guts to show up after last year's disaster! Katy Perry showed up to the award ceremony with tween sensation Miley Cyrus to disprove all the rumors that they hate each other. I give Miley 6 more months before she's full-blown celeb trouble! Christina Aguilera showed up to promote her greatest hits c.d. She's going for a new look, sexy goth (the only way I can explain it), which isn't really going for her, especially considering her ethereal perfume commercial played on loop throughout the show. X-Tina performed as well...and she LIP-SYNCHED! She's one of the few truly talented performers...why would she ever lip-sync? And lip-sync poorly at that? I don't get it. The rest of the performances were so-so. The standouts for me were Lil Wayne ft. Leona Lewis and T-Pain. He may be scary looking, but he sure puts on a high-energy show! And Kanye West's closing performance was really strong!

You know the world is back in order when Britney is all over the headlines! Brit's mom's book about parenting, a must read for anyone who wants to screw up their children, is being released soon and excerpts have leaked online. Mrs. Spears admits that Brit Brit lost her virginity at the young age of 14. I can't believe she lied about being virgin all that time! Lynne Spears also reveals that Britney did drugs and drank at an early age, and she blames Britney's managers for pushing her as a sex symbol and ruining her adolescence. Poor Brit...who new her childhood was so messed up?!? Well she grew up, had a crazy spell, and is now seemingly back to normal. She proved to the MTV community that she's back!

The Oprah Winfrey Show returned for its new season and premiered with the US Olympic athletes. One guest who won't be on with the Big O for a while? GOP VP pick Sarah Palin. Although Oprah is publically endorsing a candidate, Senator Barack Obama, for the first time in her career, she does not want to use her show as a platform for the presidential campaign. But Oprah's dealing with her own dramz. Her momma, Vernita Lee, is being sued by a high-end clothing store for owing over $155,000. I wonder if Momma O has any family to turn to for help?!?

Blistex came out with the list of the best celeb pouts. I know what you're thinking...Angelina's #1. Well you're wrong! Keira Knightly took the top spot. Keira's lips look like they haven't seen food in months...those Blistex folks are crazy! Surprisingly enough the New Kids On The Block comeback is doing fairly well. And if the 90s are too recent, then maybe a little 80s flashback will make you smile. There may be a new Ghostbusters movie coming soon! Stephen Colbert will have his DNA sent to space as part of the "Immortality Drive". And I'm only writing this because it's so bizarre, and I refuse to believe it, but Michael Jackson and Pam Anderson have reportedly been seen hanging out together. I'm chalking this one up to ridiculously, impossible. Madonna continues to do what she does best...be controversial. While performing on tour in Rome, she dedicated her hit Like a Virgin to the Pope. So naughty! And Tommy Lee Jones is suing Paramount Pictures for $10M claiming he missed out on the profits from his hit movie No Country for Old Men.

57 Days and Counting:

Now that the Republican National Convention is over, the political craziness has quieted down a smidge. Senator John McCain's VP pick, Sarah Palin, has become the rockstar for good and bad reasons of these elections. Her speech at the RNC brought in over 37.2M viewers (McCain brought in 39M viewers, just edging out Senator Barack Obama who brought in 38.4M). Palin's even helping raise money for Obama's campaign...his campaign raised almost $10M after her speech. Despite not making it onto Oprah's show, Palin has finally agreed to do a sit-down interview with ABC News later this week. The magazine US Weekly, T-Time's Bible, was called out for its bias political coverage for favoring the Dems over the GOPers. No big deal, right? Wrong...they've apparently lost thousands of subscriptions!

What you didn't register/re-register to vote yet? Must have slipped your mind…I'm sure. T-Time did it and so should you!

Wanna See My Muscle?:

Despite the Olympics being over, it was another big week in sports. Disgraced Olympic athlete, Marion Jones, was released from prison after serving time for lying to Feds about about her steroid use. Human dolphin Michael Phelps has been doing his celeb rounds by presenting at the VMAs and will continue by hosting SNL this coming Saturday, Sept. 13th. And what is a T-Time without a little OJ Simpson back in court news? That man must be so comfortable at this point...he probably spends 1/3 of the year either in court or a jail cell. This time he's back in front of a judge and jury to decide his fate after that Vegas robbery incident where he claims he was just trying to get back items that were rightfully his. The Tennis U.S. Open came to an end. Serena Williams beat out Jelena Jankovic for the women's U.S. Open title (her 3rd overall), and Roger Federer beat out Andy Murray for his 5th consecutive U.S. Open title and 13th Grand Slam title. Even the White House got into the sports action by hosting the final t-ball match on South Lawn. And sadly, Patriots QB, resident hottie, and Gisele's bf Tom Brady injured his knee during a game and will be out all season. I wonder if he'll need caretaking while Gisele is out stomping on runways?!?

News Potpourri:

I'll leave you with some quick news tidbits that couldn't fit either here or there so they're getting their own paragraph! NY has been keeping busy. The Tennis U.S. Open finished its run in Flushing, NY, and now all the fashionistas are in town for NYC Fashion Week. You can check out some of the hottest runway shows here. Oddly enough elephants have been ruling the headlines lately. MTV used an elephant in their Russell Brand/Britney Spears VMA promo ads, rapper T-Pain arrived at the VMAs on an elephant, reports show that Japanese elephants are good at math, and an elephant in China became hooked on heroin after eating heroin-laced bananas but is recovering from its addictions after a stint in rehab. That's the beauty of news...you can't make this stuff up! Coney Island's iconic Astroland is closing down for good. Microsoft's much-anticipated commercial response to Apple's funny ads went on air, and it wasn't all that funny. You can decide for yourself. If you didn't know who Bill Gates was or why this commercial was made, you would barely know the product they're promoting! You can decide for yourself.

I hope this gives you an idea of what's going on in the world. Buck up…it's not so bad! Roger Federer is getting closer to becoming the best tennis player ever and Britney's back!!! All is right with the world!

Now go and have an intellectually stimulating conversation with your neighbor about what you've just learned.

~t

You can also check this out on my official blog

T-Time
Weekly News Update for the Week of August 12th-18th 2008

Do you work all day and have no time or energy to find out what's going on in the world? Do you get bored and impatient watching TV anchors tell you over and over what's going on? Do you sometimes care more about what Britney Spears is doing than what President Bush said during his State of the Union address? If you answered yes to even one of these questions this is what you've been waiting for! Every week I'm going to give you a quick rundown of the past week's biggest headlines. I won't bore you with minute details and shove tons of information down your throats. These are just the facts with a little humor for measure! And if you want to know more you can always just Google it or ask me.

* Editor's note: In a wave of excitement and birthday joy, I forgot to mention a very important addition to our world. Baby Judah Asher Portnoy (the cutest baby ever according to T-Time) was born August 1st to momma Lindsay, dad Gary, lots of other legit relatives, and "auntie t".

Stars and Hearts:

Can you feel the love? Ellen DeGeneres and Portia de Rossi tied the knot at their Beverly Hills home this past weekend and made their love official now that gay marriage is legal in California. Supermodel Rachel Hunter has finally found love again after his split from Rod Stewart. Hunter is engaged to a 12 years younger, ice-hockey player named Jarret Stoll. Shock jock Howard Stern may have married (but I don't think it happened yet) his girlfriend Beth Ostrosky in the Hamptons this past weekend. Whether they made it official or not is still unknown, but what is known is that Kelly Ripa's hubby Mark Consuelos will officiate the ceremony. Not only is he a soap star with a perfect smile, but he's also an ordained minister. Pop/country star Jewel married her boyfriend of 10 years, rodeo star Ty Murray, in a very private ceremony in the Bahamas. Unfortunately 2 stars did not get hit with cupid's arrow. The couple I thought would last for all of time has split. Jennifer Aniston said good-bye to her millionth failed relationship with beau John Mayer.

Madonna is 50. Yes…50…hard to believe considering most people in their 20s don't look half as good as she does nor have the same level of stamina. Although she is welcoming a new decade, heck a new half-century, she is not adopting a new Malawian baby despite reports stating otherwise. Between the new tour and stressed marriage I doubt she wants to go through another adoption drama. She did celebrate with her hubby and 90 other friends in London but was back in the gym the next morning…now that's what I call discipline.

It only took 4 weeks to do it, but Batman's The Dark Knight has finally slipped to #2. Ben Stiller's Tropic Thunder kicked butt this past weekend. Despite the DK curse, Christian Bale can breathe a sigh of relief. He will not be going to jail for his alleged attack on his mom and sister.

The MTV VMAs are fast approaching (Sept. 7th), and our very own Britney is getting in on the action. No word yet if she will be performing (no one could ever forget last year's disaster), but she is helping promote the show (and looking great if I may say so myself). Tyra Banks has been making some headlines lately. First she posed as Michelle Obama in the lastest issue of Harper's Bazaar, then she promoted Italian Vogue's "All Black" Issue (July 2008) which only used black models in an effort to support diversity in the modeling world with her own special, and she just announced that one of her new America's Next Top Model contestants is a transgender woman (male to female). She really is trying to give Oprah a run for her money.

79 Days and Counting:

Senator Barack Obama is gearing up for the Democratic Nat'l Convention in Denver Aug. 25-28th. He still has yet to announce his VP picks, unless of course I just never got my text message :p But big names are being dropped for who will be attending the convention…like the big O, Oprah, Ben Affleck, Charlize Theron, and Josh Brolin (who is making a not so favorable movie about Bush with director Oliver Stone) amongst other stars. Although word spread that former Secretary of State Colin Powell was endorsing Obama and attending the convention, Powell denies all the rumors. But most importantly Senator Obama has just "rick rolled" you!

Senator John McCain has also yet to name his VP choice. Right now the top 2 picks are former Pennsylvania Governor and Member of the House Tom Ridge and Connecticut Senator Joe Lieberman. Both men are pro-choice which could lead to a very interesting ticket. He has some more time to choice...the Republican Nat'l Convention in Minneapolis-St. Paul isn't till Sept. 1-4th. Both candidates took part in the "Saddleback Civil Forum on the Presidency" moderated by Pastor Rick Warren. This was not a debate, but a forum. They tossed a coin for who would go first, each got their separate times to answer identical questions, and then came together to hug awkwardly. Pastor Warren asked very direct questions. You can check out what the Senators had to say here.
What you didn't register/re-register to vote yet? Must have slipped your mind…I'm sure. T-Time did it and so should you!

Want to See My 'O' Face?:

Despite some controversy regarding fake fireworks, fake singers, and fake 16 year-old gymnasts the Olympics are running pretty smoothly. The U.S. is rocking the medal count with 72 followed by China with 67 and Russia with a distant 36. You can also keep track of the medal count.

But any and all Olympics coverage must include the star, Michael Phelps (the human dolphin). The 23 year-old swimming phenom won not 1, 2 or even 3 but 8 GOLD MEDALS (7 of which were done in world record time). In his quest to being the best (I'm a poet and I know it) he broke swimmer Mark Spitz's record for 7 gold medals in one Olympic game and became the "winningest" Olympian in history.

The U.S. gymnastics team also kicked butt. Except they they did it more as individual gymnasts than as a team (they got Silver after China). Nastia Liukin won the gold and teammate Shawn Johnson won the silver in the individuals all-around competition. In an even bigger moment Liukin won her gold 20 years after her father won a gymnastics gold for the Soviet Union. But last night the roles reversed and Johnson got silver in the floor routine while Liukin brought in the bronze. More individual events are still to come.

The one sport where the big names disappointed was tennis. Reigning champs Roger Federer and the Williams sisters, Venus and Serena, were all knocked out during their quarter-final matche (they finally saw gold during their doubles games). And although James Black beat Federer, he was no match for Novak Djokovic (the Bronze). Rafael Nadal continues his winning streak by grabbing the Gold.

News Potpourri:

I'll leave you with some quick news tidbits that couldn't fit either here or there so they're getting their own paragraph! Warning: those CNN and MSNBC alerts you may have been getting in your inbox are fakes. Do not click on the links. They will take you to a fake news site and ask you to download program updates which will only spread malware on your computer. So now you know…don't fall for it! Plus you don't need to read alerts when you have T-Time. An Ohio church has released its '7 Rules' detailing what is and is not appropriate for priests to do with children. The list does not allow kissing, tickling, or even piggyback riding (plus some other big no-nos), but high-fives and patting on the back are a-ok. Sandy Allen, the world's tallest woman at 7'7", died at the age of 53. Coincidentally she lived in the same nursing home as the world's oldest person…there's definitely something in the water over there! In fear of indictment and death (the latter being a tad bit scarier) US-backed Pakistani President Pervez Musharraf resigned from his post. Mrs. Fields has filed for bankruptcy. Apparently those bratty teens in the mall aren't eating as many cookies as they used to. I ask all my loyal readers to please find your nearest Mrs. Fields and buy a cookie… consider it your moral duty as Americans. Speaking of women who cook, newly released documents confirmed that famed chef Julia Child who introduced French cooking to America was a spy (for what is now the CIA) back in her heyday. With the country becoming more diverse the U.S. Census Bureau released population projections stating that whites will be in the minority by 2042. In case you guys don't realize T really cares about your well-being. I want you to be happy and healthy. So next time you start craving a Whopper with fries just take a look at what this former Burger King employee did to celebrate his bday.

I hope this gives you an idea of what's going on in the world. Buck up…it's not so bad! Michael Phelps proved he is the better than the best in the world and Madonna is the big 5-0! All is right with the world!

Now go and have an intellectually stimulating conversation with your neighbor about what you've just learned.

~t

You can also check this out on my official blog

T-Time Weekly News Update for the Week of August 4th-11th 2008

Do you work all day and have no time or energy to find out what's going on in the world? Do you get bored and impatient watching TV anchors tell you over and over what's going on? Do you sometimes care more about what Britney Spears is doing than what President Bush said during his State of the Union address? If you answered yes to even one of these questions this is what you've been waiting for! Every week I'm going to give you a quick rundown of the past week's biggest headlines. I won't bore you with minute details and shove tons of information down your throats. These are just the facts with a little humor for measure! And if you want to know more you can always just Google it or ask me.

Batman and Babies:

Batman’s The Dark Knight has been full of good and bad. Although it continues to be #1 in the box office and rake in millions of millions of dollars ($400M in only 18 days), the movie seems to be developing a curse. Morgan Freeman was in a very serious car accident earlier in the week. He has since been released from the hospital and seems to be recovering well. Christian Bale was arrested for assaulting his mother and sister. And the biggest story has been Heath Ledger’s death. In case you don’t remember Ledger’s masseuse found him lying dead in his bed but instead of calling the cops, she called Mary Kate Olsen. Well the Feds tried to subpoena Olsen so she would testify as to where Ledger got his prescription drugs illegally. But she refused to talk without the promise of immunity…shady much? What does she have to hide? Well it doesn’t matter any more cause the case is closed, and his death ruled an accidental overdose.

Lisa Marie Presley, the King’s daughter, is having twins. Little known fact…Elvis was a twin, but his older brother died shortly after birth. Porn star, excuse me ex-porn star, Jenna Jameson is expecting her first child with boyfriend and Ultimate Fighting champ Tito Ortiz. Who’s not expecting? Jennifer Aniston. According to her rep, Aniston and her man John Mayer are not having a baby and are not getting married. Don’t believe all you read…unless it’s on T-Time.

This week we lost 2 great talents. Comedian/actor Bernie Mac died at the young age of 50 due to complications from pneumonia. Grammy and Oscar winning musician and the voice of the Chef from South Park, Isaac Hayes, also passed away. He was 65 years old, but the cause is still unknown (he was found next to his treadmill).

86 Days and Counting:

Senator John McCain’s “celeb” video was quite controversial. But no one expected Paris Hilton, one of the ad’s stars to react like this: http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/64ad536a6d. I never thought I’d utter the words, “Paris for President, Bitches”. McCain has yet to name his VP, but CT Senator Joe Lieberman seems to have taken the lead.

Senator Barack Obama had plenty of reasons to celebrate this past week. Monday, August 4th was his 47th birthday (the 4th also being T’s bday…lest you forget). And how did the presidential candidate celebrate? By boozing it up, dancing on top of a bar? Nope…he gave a speech on his energy policy. You don’t need to feel too bad for him though cause now he’s getting some R&R on his fave island, Hawaii. He is said to be announcing his VP pick some time soon, and he’ll be doing it via text message and/or email for any supporters to sign up to receive the info.

Still don’t know who to vote for? Maybe the candidates’ musical tastes will help you out: http://www.blender.com/WhiteHouseDJBattle/articles/39518.aspx

Ex-presidential hopeful Senator John Edwards is in, what we writers like to call, deep doodoo. Edwards has finally admitted to having an affair with Rielle Hunter back in 2006 but claims to not be the father of her child. What about his terminally ill wife Elizabeth? Well her cancer was in remission at the time, so it wasn’t as bad. One of the sweethearts of the Democratic Party has solidified his exit from the political ring. Hillary Clinton’s advisor blames Edwards for her loss. If this news had broken before the Iowa caucuses she could have possibly had the nod.

What you didn’t register/re-register to vote yet? Must have slipped your mind…I’m sure. www.rockthevote.com. T-Time did it and so should you! You know I’m not the only one trying to spread the message of voting. Gwyneth Paltrow has something to say for all you expats: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=amukRM9SSoo.

Want to See My ‘O’ Face?:

The Olympics are in full swing. The opening ceremony was unlike any other and will probably not be topped for quite some time…I recommend watching it if you can. This year’s games are the most watched in history. There have been victories, defeats, and even tragedies.

Michael Phelps is 3 gold medals in to his record-breaking 8 gold medal goal. He continues to live up to his reputation and beyond out swim his competition. The US men’s basketball team defeated China to continue their run for the elusive gold. The US girl’s gymnastics team hasn’t had the greatest of starts, but they still have a chance to rock it in the finals vs. China. And apparently Brad Pitt has gotten into the action…Australian boxer Brad Pitt that is. http://cache.viewimages.com/xc/53268668.jpg?v=1&c=ViewImages&k=2&d=17A4AD9FDB9CF193CC300C081D9F470011A28E6489F82C4896EE826B3DFDDB90A55A1E4F32AD3138. I would totally watch these 2 duke it out.

Currently the US is in 1st place for total amount of medals won with 19 followed by China with 14 and Korea with 9. You can check for yourself here: http://results.beijing2008.cn/WRM/ENG/INF/GL/95A/GL0000000.shtml.a

Unfortunately tragedy struck on day 1 of the games when US volleyball coach, Hugh McCutcheon’s father-in-law, Todd Bachman, was stabbed to death in the streets of Beijing for no apparent reason (Bachman’s wife and tour guide were injured but survived). The attacker then killed himself by jumping off a building. Not one of the more pleasant ways to open up the games.

News Potpourri:

I'll leave you with some quick news tidbits that couldn't fit either here or there so they're getting their own paragraph! After all the dramz Brett Favre was reinstated and then traded to the NY Jets. F-A-V-R-E…FAVRE, FAVRE, FAVRE! Speaking of football…Bruce Springsteen will be the half-time performer at next year’s Super Bowl. The Feds believe they caught the Anthrax killer, army scientist Bruce Ivans. Unexpectedly Ivans killed himself before they could get to him. Playgirl Magazine will cease publishing its monthly mag and will be solely online. I can’t imagine that the demand for naked, beefcake men is so low. Utah state employees will begin working a 4-day workweek in an effort to cut energy costs, and T-Time will be moving out there shortly. Russia and Georgia (the country not the state) are heavily fighting over a piece of land called South Ossetia. This is a serious world issue that could potentially pin nations against one another...so T-Time will be on top of it. The Emmys announced who will be designing the show’s gown. Ralph Lauren? Carolina Herrera? No…Lauren Conrad (yes…of The Hills fame). Ever had a snake stuck in your pants (seriously)? No? Well here’s your video of the week: http://www.cnn.com/video/#/video/us/2008/08/08/natsot.ia.snake.in.pants.kcci.

I hope this gives you an idea of what's going on in the world. Buck up…it's not so bad! The US is rocking the Olympics and John Edwards admitted to being a cheat! All is right with the world!

Now go and have an intellectually stimulating conversation with your neighbor about what you've just learned.

~t

T-Time Weekly News Update for the Week of July 29th-August 3rd 2008

Do you work all day and have no time or energy to find out what's going on in the world? Do you get bored and impatient watching TV anchors tell you over and over what's going on? Do you sometimes care more about what Britney Spears is doing than what President Bush said during his State of the Union address? If you answered yes to even one of these questions this is what you've been waiting for! Every week I'm going to give you a quick rundown of the past week's biggest headlines. I won't bore you with minute details and shove tons of information down your throats. These are just the facts with a little humor for measure! And if you want to know more you can always just Google it or ask me.

*T-Time is a day early this week cause Monday is the big B-Day, and I’m still fighting to make it a national holiday! Hopefully for all you readers I’ll not only be a year older but a year wiser as well!

Celebrity-Time:

So I’ve been feeling quite sad due to the lack of Britney news lately, but that has all changed with this past week! Brit Brit’s lawyers did not ask for an extension on the restraining order against svengali-like ex-“manager” Sam Lutfi. That doesn’t mean that they’re back in touch, it just means that Britney seems coherent enough to not get involved with the crazies. She may have gotten rid of Sam, but Brit’s still stuck with her dad as her conservator. Dad’s been doing such a good job keeping his daughter in line (only took 25 years) that a judge extended the conservatorship through December 31st. Britney’s little sis Jamie Lynn, mom to Maddie Briann (http://www.buzzfeed.com/blanca/jamie-lynns-baby-photos) may be getting married soon. I guess they just didn’t want to rush into anything…first get pregnant at 16 then think about marriage.

It’s not always sunshine and Botox in Hollywood. Kate Hudson and Lance Armstrong broke up after a whole 3 months of dating. Rumors are flying that Matthew Broderick had an affair while wifey Sarah Jessica Parker was filming Sex and The City: The Movie. But I refuse to believe this cause they’re too cute together and have been together longer than most celeb couples, so I’m chalking this up to tabloid fluff. The former employee accused of abusing students at Oprah’s school in Africa went on trial. If Oprah has anything to do with she’ll be locked up for life…forced to watch Dr. Phil reruns. It seems that although Shia LaBeouf was drunk when he got into the accident that flipped his car, the accident was actually the other driver’s fault (she ran a red light). NY Yankees star A-Rod is going on with his divorce, but he’s making sure that the lawyers stick to the prenup (sounds like someone’s soon-to-be ex-wife is about to get screwed). Christina Applegate, a.k.a. Kelly Bundy, has been diagnosed with breast cancer. Because it was detected early she should expect a full recovery after treatment. Speaking of recovery, Patrick Swayze has been working on a new TV series and looking a million times better than when news broke of his pancreatic cancer diagnosis.

94 Days and Counting:

So I guess the Yeshiva student who stole Senator Barack Obama’s note from the Wailing Wall is a T-Time reader cause he finally felt the pangs of guilt and returned the note to its intended location. Now that the elections are in the somewhat near future VP contender names are dropping left and right. The top guys on the list as of now are: Virginia Governor Tim Kaine, Delaware Senator Joe Biden, and Indiana Senator Evan Bayh.

Senator John McCain wanted to get his name in the press more, and his wish was granted. McCain’s campaign debuted a new commercial calling out Obama for being popular just for being popular (making similarities to Britney and Paris). You can check it out right here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oHXYsw_ZDXg&feature=related. McCain’s daughter, Meghan, admitted that she was registered as “Independent” but switched to “Republican” for her dad on Father’s Day.

The late Tim Russert’s son Luke will be following in his father’s footsteps. Luke will be a correspondent for NBC news. He will be covering everything from youth issues to the Democratic and Republican conventions (Aug 25-28 in Denver and Sept. 1-4 in Minneapolis-St. Paul, respectively).

Rapper Ludacris has gotten himself involved with the elections as well. He wrote a little ditty about all the candidates and the current president. It goes something like this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=THRoyvbkCzg.

What you didn’t register/re-register to vote yet? Must have slipped your mind…I’m sure. www.rockthevote.com. T-Time did it and so should you!

Around the World in 4 Stories:

On the domestic front the U.S. is going through some financial hardships. NYC and California are getting hit the hardest and experiencing huge deficits.

Israel’s Prime Minister Ehud Olmert is stepping down from his post in September, after his party reelects a new leader, amongst allegations that he was involved in some shady financial dealings although he continues to claim his innocence.

China is continuing to anger the international community. Although the Olympics are starting this Friday, August 8th there continues to be issues over many of China’s policies. China will continue to censor the Internet and all users (Chinese, athletes, tourists, etc).

There may be a war going on, but that doesn’t seem to be in the way of American capitalism spreading. A KFC, that’s right Kentucky Fried Chicken, has just opened up in Fallujah, Iraq.

News Potpourri:

I'll leave you with some quick news tidbits that couldn't fit either here or there so they're getting their own paragraph! Sir Richard Branson, owner of all things Virgin, unveiled his new personal spacecraft the Virgin Galactic that will be able to take “tourists” (millionaire tourists) to outer space. If you’re looking for a good party…University of Florida is the place to be. The Princeton Review named it the #1 party school…woohoo! Batman’s The Dark Knight continues to kick butt at the box office. For the 2nd week in a row it came in at #1 bringing its grand total to over $395M. T finally saw it, and let me be the millionth person to tell you that it’s a) really good, and b) Heath Ledger really is that amazing as the Joker. Los Angeles got hit with a pretty decent earthquake last Tuesday. You can see the effects during the taping of Judge Judy: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_5t_p6Adu8E. The 2 major U.S. satellite radio providers Sirius and XM finally completed their merger and became “Sirius XM Radio” (super original). People Magazine has won again by getting the photo rights to Brad and Angie’s twin babies…and I have the first pics right here: http://www.people.com/people/article/0,,20216352,00.html. Green Bay Packer’s QB Brett Favre has been stirring up quite a bit of drama. First he tearfully retired and then he claimed he was forced to quit. Well this whole past week has been full of “will he rejoin” or “won’t he”, and it looks like the star player will be reinstated to his former team and joining them at training camp. In honor of the upcoming Olympics here’s your video of the week (not safe for the office): http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/6c2a1615d5.

I hope this gives you an idea of what's going on in the world. Buck up…it's not so bad! Britney’s finally back in the headlines and the Brangelina baby pics have arrived! All is right with the world!

Now go and have an intellectually stimulating conversation with your neighbor about what you've just learned.

~t