T-Time
Weekly News Update for the Week of October 7-13th 2008

Do you work all day and have no time or energy to find out what's going on in the world? Do you get bored and impatient watching TV anchors tell you over and over what's going on? Do you sometimes care more about what Britney Spears is doing than what President Bush said during his State of the Union address? If you answered yes to even one of these questions this is what you've been waiting for! Every week I'm going to give you a quick rundown of the past week's biggest headlines. I won't bore you with minute details and shove tons of information down your throats. These are just the facts with a little humor for measure! And if you want to know more you can always just Google it or ask me.

Celebs Keeping Busy:

It is officially the beginning of the end of The Girls Next Door. Hef's #1 girl, Holly Madison, confirmed to TMZ that she and the robed man are over, and GF #3, Kendra, confirmed her split to E!'s Chelsea Handler. Christie Brinkley finalized her divorce from sleazy Peter Cook. Although some relationships are in the dumps, others are looking up. Comedians Sarah Silverman and Jimmy Kimmel are quietly and slowly getting back together. JLo and Marc Anthony decided last minute to renew their vows in Las Vegas this past weekend. Does this count as wedding #4 or just #3.2? Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie continue to prove that they're hotter and better than us mere mortals. Mr. Pitt was in New Orleans to announce that his organization will be building more homes. He also took stunning, private photos of Angie and the kids at their French estate for W Magazine. You can see some of them online.

Britney's new music video premiered on 20/20 NOT on MTV's TRL (go figure), but at least she almost looks normal again! Beyonce has been busy making music as well. She's released not 1 but 2 new singles and videos! T-Time prefers the catchy single (plus the dancing is out of control), but the 2nd one is for all you ballad lovers. Ryan Reynolds, fresh off his marriage to Scarlett Johansson, announced that he will be running the NYC Marathon to raise money for Parkinson's Disease (in honor of his father and fellow Canadian Michael J. Fox). Halle Berry was named the "Sexiest Woman Alive" by Esquire Magazine.

Lisa Marie Presley, the King's daughter, gave birth to twin girls named Harper and Finley. This is the 3rd and 4th child for the rock 'n' roll heir. Sporty Spice, the last Spice Girl to become a wife and/or mommy, got knocked up a few months ago and is now engaged to her long-term boyfriend.

22 Days and Counting:

Last week's Presidential Debate was another quiet event, but it did bring in the big ratings! The 2nd debate brought in a 21% larger audience than the first. Let's see how this Wednesday's debate fares! So the big day is only a mere 3 weeks away, and things are definitely heating up. Senator John McCain's campaign has been going after Senator Barack Obama and his relationship with domestic terrorist, William Ayers. Obama is also being tied to ACORN, Association of Community Organizers for Reform Now, a group that advocates for low-income voters. Some states have begun voting early, and with that there has been controversy over some possible voter fraud. ACORN is in hot water for registering people multiple (5, 6, even 10) times.

David Kernell, the young man who hacked into Governor Sarah Palin's email, was indicted by a federal grand jury. His trial is set for December 16th. Mrs. Palin is also dealing with her own drama...a.k.a. Troopergate. Tina Fey playing Sarah Palin…Sarah Palin playing Tina Fey? Trippy, but possibly happening! One fan Palin shouldn't count on? Mrs. Richie. Madonna keeps heckling the VP choice through her concert shows. After some hurt feelings and hours of ridicule, McCain will be going back on with David Letterman this coming Thursday. Hopefully they'll be able to kiss and make up. And Paris Hilton is continuing her campaign for the presidency.

What you didn't register/re-register to vote yet? Well I think it's too late for most of you, but you can double check here.

News Potpourri:

I'll leave you with some quick news tidbits that couldn't fit either here or there so they're getting their own paragraph! Blackberry is feeling the competition from the iPhone and doesn't like it. The BB people are coming out with a touchscreen version to continue and hook their users. The economy continues to mess with our minds and bank accounts. The Dow dropped hundreds of points throughout last week, but today it jumped back up over 900 points. The economy isn't only affecting the regular people, but even the multibillionaires are feeling the pinch. Bill Gates is no longer #1 on Forbes' Billionaire List...he is sadly #3. Ford announced a new line of cars that will be parent friendly/teenager safe. The new cars will have a set speed limit and set radio volume so those lead footed and deaf kiddies will be less dangerous on the road. Connecticut is joining California and Massachusetts by making gay marriage legal. Google continues to prove that it is the coolest company EVER. They've just come out with Google Goggles (say that 3 times fast) that prevent you fools from drunk emailing. Before sending you will be asked some math questions to make sure you're in the right state to proclaim your true feelings :p The Dalai Lama had surgery to remove gallstones and is currently still in the hospital recovering...send your prayers his way. In 1492 Columbus sailed the ocean blue, and now we celebrate him every 2nd Tuesday in October. For all you movie buffs, Beverly Hills Chihuahua came in #1 at the box office for the 2nd week in a row! If you're in the NYC area and down for a good laugh you should check out 'The Hysterical Festival'!

I hope this gives you an idea of what's going on in the world. Buck up…it's not so bad! Columbus braved the Atlantic and Hugh Hefner is back on the market! All is right with the world!

Now go and have an intellectually stimulating conversation with your neighbor about what you've just learned.

~t

You can also check this out on my official blog.

T-Time
Weekly News Update for the Week of October 1st-6th 2008

Do you work all day and have no time or energy to find out what's going on in the world? Do you get bored and impatient watching TV anchors tell you over and over what's going on? Do you sometimes care more about what Britney Spears is doing than what President Bush said during his State of the Union address? If you answered yes to even one of these questions this is what you've been waiting for! Every week I'm going to give you a quick rundown of the past week's biggest headlines. I won't bore you with minute details and shove tons of information down your throats. These are just the facts with a little humor for measure! And if you want to know more you can always just Google it or ask me.

Starrywood:

Oprah is just trying to be the best billionaire media mogul she can be, but people around her keep dragging her name through litigation mud! Her mom was being sued for not paying a clothing boutique's bill, and now Momma O is countersuing claiming they should have never given her a store credit card to begin with! Oprah, herself, is being sued for defamation by the ex-headmistress at her South African Girls Academy claiming Oprah's comments about her have tarnished her reputation. Oprah didn't tarnish your reputation, your poor and abusive actions did! Charlize Theron is being sued by Simon Weil for not following her contract stipulations and wearing their watch 24/7. See...if you want to get paid to pimp out products you gotta do your share!

Dancing With The Stars recent reject Kim Kardashian took being kicked off pretty hard and bawled her fake eyelashes off. Kim danced like she was in a comatose state, and the Judges called her out on it. She and her family explained that she was just 'shy'. Last time I checked shy people don't make sex tapes, star is reality shows about their lives, and pose naked for Playboy. Just admit it KK, besides your ASSets you have nothing going for you!

Howard Stern and model/girlfriend of 8 years Beth Ostrosky finally got married this past Friday at Le Cirque Restaurant in NYC. The ceremony was officiated by Mr. Kelly Ripa, Mark Consuelos, and the guest list included Donald Trump, Baba Wawa (Ms. Barbara Walters for all you non Gilda Radner fans), and Baba Booey, just to name a few. Melissa Etheridge and Tammy Lynn Michaels are jumping on the California legal gay marriage train and making their union official! T-Time's mortal enemy, Rosie O'Donnell is getting her own variety show on NBC. Let's see how quick "variety" turns into a "hatred-filled, conspiracy rant" soap box. That's all I'll have to say about that!

The rumor of the week was "Britney sex tape: Real or Fake". The verdict seems to be fake. All parties deny any existence of the tape. I hear dream bubbles bursting across the world. Britney has been keeping busy promoting her new single Womanizer. She even took time out to visit some school kids in the Bronx. One little detail though…the school was closed for Rosh Hashanah so they had to call kids in. Bonus points to Brit's people for careful planning and follow-through!

Elizabeth Hurley's acting career is lukewarm to say the least, so she's been expanding into other business ventures. She will now be promoting an organic food line. Hey...if eating organic food makes me look as good as her in my 40s and post-child or even in my current state then count me in! Speaking of hot moms, Angelina Jolie made her first public appearance, since giving birth to her twins, at the NYC premiere of her new movie The Changeling, and she looked as gorgeous as ever! If you're interested in buying tickets to see a Diva, I'd recommend buying insurance as well. Janet Jackson continues to cancel shows due to a mystery illness, and Cher also had to cancel her last 2 shows of the year in Vegas due to illness!

29 Days and Counting:

The big political news of the week was the first and only Vice Presidential Debate between Senator Joe Biden and Governor Sarah Palin. Over 70 million people watched it! Most people expected Palin to crash and burn against the fast-talking Biden, but she held her own. There was also concern that the moderator, Gwen Ifill, would be biased towards Biden since she wrote a book about Obama, but all was fair on the podium-filled stage. SNL has been banking off this presidential campaign. Here's their take on the VP Debate. Rumor has it that Governor Sarah Palin may even come on to play Tina Fey! Want to know what some liberally thinking, liberally drinking NYC youths thought about the debate? Watch this!

The 2nd presidential debate is Tuesday, October 7th at 9 p.m. [EST], and the 3rd and final debate will be Wednesday, October 15th also at 9 p.m. [EST].

Ohio residents got to start voting early. Certain states are allowing early voting as a way to avoid long lines and confusion the day of. Personally I'm waiting till the very last minute cause in the race anything could go down, and I sure as hell don't want to regret my decision. What you didn't register/re-register to vote yet? What are you waiting for?!? For most states the deadline has either already passed or is coming up this week! But really you don't have to vote...just listen to the celebs!

News Potpourri:

I'll leave you with some quick news tidbits that couldn't fit either here or there so they're getting their own paragraph! You may still be holding on to the hope that the U.S. gymnastics team will win back its deserved Gold medal, but unfortunately for all you patriots the Olympic Committee has officially announced that those tiny, age-defying Chinese gymnasts were in fact "of age" and honestly won their medals. Some actual progress occurred in the financial crisis...both the Senate and the House approved a modified bailout bill. Now we wait and see... For now I'm just trying to figure out if Wells Fargo or Citigroup bought out Wachovia! It's a sad moment for the Great White Way...Hairspray will be closing up shop soon :( House Peters, Jr., the man who played Mr. Clean died this week. I'll never look at cleaning supplies the same way again. Well T-Time be d*mned...O.J. Simpson was found guilty on all charges in his Las Vegas/memorabilia case! He could potentially face up to life in prison. Hmm...I wonder if that jury had any preconceived ill notions of the former NFL star?!? Shockingly Beverly Hills Chihuahua came in #1 at the box office this past weekend. This makes me question all other box office results! A) Who would even want to see it? B) Who even really knew it was out? C) It wasn't even a rainy weekend!!! For all your Entourage freaks...your show is being renewed for another season despite poor ratings this season.

I hope this gives you an idea of what's going on in the world. Buck up…it's not so bad! Howard Stern is finally off the market, and O.J. may actually pay for some of his crimes! All is right with the world!

Now go and have an intellectually stimulating conversation with your neighbor about what you've just learned.

~t

You can also check this out on my official blog.

T-Time
Weekly News Update for the Week of September 23rd-30th 2008

Do you work all day and have no time or energy to find out what's going on in the world? Do you get bored and impatient watching TV anchors tell you over and over what's going on? Do you sometimes care more about what Britney Spears is doing than what President Bush said during his State of the Union address? If you answered yes to even one of these questions this is what you've been waiting for! Every week I'm going to give you a quick rundown of the past week's biggest headlines. I won't bore you with minute details and shove tons of information down your throats. These are just the facts with a little humor for measure! And if you want to know more you can always just Google it or ask

me.

The Celeb-Filled Week:

Forget the days of hiding your sexuality, gay celebrities are out and proud! Lindsay Lohan told a radio show that she's been with girlfriend Samantha Ronson for a very long time. Hopefully her love will be able to support her through her endless family drama. Lindz is taking an order of protection out against her father. Clay Aiken, former American Idol runner-up, posed on the cover of the current People Magazine with his newborn son announcing that he is indeed gay. Shocker. And heterosexual couple Scarlett Johansson and Ryan Reynolds tied the knot in Canada. This a first marriage for both…let's see how this one works out!

Porn queen, Jenna Jameson, is trying to fit in with the Hollywood crowd. Not only is she pregnant, but she just announced that she's expecting twins. Sharon Stone lost custody of her eldest child. When a mother, especially a celeb mom, loses custody that means something is seriously wrong (Britney Spears anyone?). Her ex-husband, Phil Bronstein, now has full physical custody while Stone's 2 other adopted sons (she adopted them after her divorce) remain with her. Speaking of moms losing custody…Britney Spears dropped her new single Womanizer. The Brangelina brood seem to be moving yet again...this time to Germany while Brad films his new movie. Can you imagine how much fun it is to move 6 kids and all your stuff around that often?!? And now rumor has it that they want to adopt a 7th child! No one in their right mind consciously chooses to have 7 kids under the age of 7! The late Heath Ledger's dad, Kim, announced that the family will give all of Heath's estate, approximately $20M, to his daughter Matilda.

Gwenyth Paltrow has given up on being a celebrity waif and become a doting wife and mother of 2. So now she wants to share her enlightenment with us regular folk by posting her thoughts on life on her new site called Goop. Lance Armstrong announced that he will be returning to the world of cycling, and he just announced that he will be riding for the Kazakhstan (Borat's home country) team. And while we're on Borat, Sacha Baron Cohen is up to a new set of hijinks. While filming his new movie, Bruno: Delicious Journeys Through America for the Purpose of Making Heterosexual Males Visibly Uncomfortable in the Presence of a Gay Foreigner in a Mesh T-Shirt, he crashed a Milan fashion show by walking on the runway! Always up to trouble!!! Paul McCartney performed in Israel for the first time despite protests and even death threats, and Bruce Springsteen will be playing at next year's Super Bowl Half-Time Show. Janet Jackson was forced to cancel one of her shows after she fell suddenly ill and was rushed to the hospital. Ms. Jackson, if you're nasty, seems to have suffered from some exhaustion.

Shia LaBeouf is having a good week. He will not be charged for the car accident that totalled his car and left his hand badly injured, and his new movie, Eagle Eye, came in first at the box office. Both DJ A.M. and Travis Barker have been released from the hospital following their deadly jet crash. It will take ~1 year for them to fully recover. Heather Locklear, was arrested for suspicion of a DUI after another driver caught her driving erratically and then blocking traffic on a highway.

TV stars are trying to get their 15 minutes of fame too. The new 90210 has been picked up for a full season. Our favorite Girls Next Door are slowly falling apart. Rumors were flying that Hugh Hefner's 3 girlfriends were dating other men and trying to develop their own careers. Well the rumors seem to be true. GF #1, Holly Madison, and illusionist Criss Angel have been spotted together all over Las Vegas. And GF #3, Kendra Wilkinson, is dating Philadelphia Eagle's wide receiver Hank Baskett. This fun spoof video is for all you Grey's Anatomy/ Michael Phelps fans. Gossip Girl stars are not only lucky in looks but in love too. Ed Westwick, evil Chuck, has been getting kissy with Drew Barrymore all over NYC. Ready to feel old? Saved by the Bell is celebrating its 20th Anniversary next year! Zack and A.C., a.k.a. Mark-Paul Gosselaar and Mario Lopez, got together to discuss the big event! Despite all this TV love, TV ratings for the Fall '08 season have been down across the board! Come on kids...show your DVRs some love!

On a sad note, Hollywood legend Paul Newman passed away Friday, Sept. 26th at the age of 83 after losing his battle with cancer. He would have never made it into T-Time because he was too talented, classy and humble. He will always be remembered for his roles in Cool Hand Luke and Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid, and for his charitable donations through Newman's Own products.

35 Days and Counting:

Former President Bill Clinton has been making his media rounds to support his Global Initiative program and stir up support for Senator Barack Obama. Well if complimenting Senator John McCain and Governor Sarah Palin every time he talks about them and awkwardly avoiding questions about his support for Obama are his way of showing support, then Billy Boy is doing a fine job!

Now that the first Presidential Debate came and went (nothing too crazy to report except McCain suspending his campaign to deal with the financial crisis but eventually regrouping in time to debate), all the buzz is about the Vice Presidential Debate that will air this Thursday, October 2nd at 9:00 p.m. [EST]. Will there be pigs wearing lipstick or pigs wearing hear plugs?!?

30 Rock and former SNL star Tina Fey continues to do her dead-on impressions of Governor Palin. You can check out the latest here. And in case you missed the first skit (my personal favorite), here it is. Another celeb getting into the election spirit is comedian Sarah Silverman. She's been busy promoting the Big Schlep.

And NYC mayor, Michael Bloomberg, is apparantely going to announce that he will revise New York City's office term limits so that he can run for a third term in office. I didn't know you could just change the rules like that!

What you didn't register/re-register to vote yet? Well you're running out of time! There are only 35 more days to go!

News Potpourri:

I'll leave you with some quick news tidbits that couldn't fit either here or there so they're getting their own paragraph! You can't really discuss the past week without acknowledging the insane financial crisis that the U.S. is going through! The House of Representatives just turned down a $700 billion bailout package that would have potentially eased the situation so we're still stuck in square one. The Dow Jones dropped over 700 points but is slowly making its way back up. Now the Senate will have to decide on a modified package. JPMorgan bought out Washington Mutual (making it the largest bank failure in American history), and Citigroup just purchased Wachovia. First Yankee Stadium, and now Shea Stadium (home of The Mets) is closing its doors in exchange for a bigger and better stadium. Google, T-Time's obsession turned 10 years-old, and part of their celebration was the unveiling of the new Google phone (expected to compete with the iPhone)! The weeks of Sept. 29th though October 9th celebrate 2 of the biggest Jewish holidays, Rosh Hashanah (the new year-5769) and Yom Kippur (day of atonement a.k.a. fasting). The UN just finished hosting leaders from around the world. Many photos ops were taken, but not too many actual decisions seem to have been made! The U.S. penny will celebrate Lincoln's bicentennial with 4 new designs. The people behind PETA are really starting to lose it. They are asking Ben & Jerry's to start using human breast milk, instead of regular cow milk, in their ice cream because apparently it's cruel to the animals and healthier for humans. Umm...NO THANK YOU! Drink your own breast milk freaks!

I hope this gives you an idea of what's going on in the world. Buck up…it's not so bad! It's the Jewish New Year so L 'Shana Tova to all my fellow M.O.T.s. All is right with the world!

Now go and have an intellectually stimulating conversation with your neighbor about what you've just learned.

~t

You can also check this out on my official blog (http://ttimeupdate.blogspot.com/)

T-Time
Weekly News Update for the Week of September 16th-22nd 2008

Do you work all day and have no time or energy to find out what's going on in the world? Do you get bored and impatient watching TV anchors tell you over and over what's going on? Do you sometimes care more about what Britney Spears is doing than what President Bush said during his State of the Union address? If you answered yes to even one of these questions this is what you've been waiting for! Every week I'm going to give you a quick rundown of the past week's biggest headlines. I won't bore you with minute details and shove tons of information down your throats. These are just the facts with a little humor for measure! And if you want to know more you can always just Google it or ask me.

Shiny Stars:

Former Blink 182 drummer and MTV reality star Travis Barker and celeb DJ/Nicole Richie's ex-fiance DJ AM both survived a deadly plane crash. Their private jet crashed in South Carolina killing 4 people including the 2 pilots and 2 other passengers. Both Barker and AM are being treated for severe burns at the Joseph M. Still Burn Center in Atlanta, Georgia. Travis apparently had burns to his torso and lower body while AM suffered burns to his face/head and arms. Both are expected to fully recover.

Personally things are looking up for Lindsay Lohan. She seems sober and in love. But her professional career is leaving something to be desired. What's a starlet to do when her stock is plummeting?!? Put your name and face on everything! Lohan just started a brand development firm called Stay Gold that will focus on her leggings line, self-tanner, and other very important items. She will also guest judge in the season premiere of Project Runway. Jessica Simpson may have finally found some musical success. Her new country album topped the country charts. Let's see how long the country folk put up with her! Britney's mom, Lynne, has been busy promoting her book. Despite selling out both her daughters the family actually seems to be getting along.

Sex and The City II?!? It may happen! Rumors have been swirling and the stars of the movie have all said they would do it if the story is good enough...a.k.a. they'll totally make a sequel once salary negotiations are finalized!!! Candace Bushnell, the author of the book that sparked the TV phenomenon, just announced that she will write about Carrie's teenage years in high school so we can know more about her past...or so a younger generation will get hooked and continue to watch reruns and DVDs :p Mark, Marky Mark, Wahlberg just welcomed his 3rd child (2nd son) with girlfriend/fiance/ baby mamma Rhea Durham. If they keep popping them out he'll soon have his own "funky bunch". Amy Poehler announced that she will leave SNL after the birth of her baby sometime in November. The Emmys aired this past Sunday, and they were super BORING and CHEESY. Apparently I wasn't the only one who felt this way cause it was the lowest rated Emmys show in its history. The big winners were 30 Rock for Outstanding Comedy and Mad Men for Outstanding Drama. To see the full list of winners go here.

If you, like me, are obsessed with celebs you'll probably want your children to get a head start! And what better way than with celebrity Lego people?!?

43 Days and Counting:

GOP VP pick Sarah Palin's personal Yahoo email account was hacked, and emails were leaked to several websites. Although nothing too personal or juicy was found, it's still a huge breach of privacy. The hacker is 20-year-old University of Tennessee student David Kernell who also happens to be the son of Democratic State Rep Mike Kernell. Not only is Sarah Palin a rock star, but now her husband is getting his 15 minutes of fame. Fox News' Greta Van Susteren interviewed Todd Palin a.k.a. the "First Dude". If you want to know know more about the man behind bespectacled woman you can check out the interview here. Senator Barack Obama decided that raising over $66M in August just wouldn't cut it and received even more money with a celeb-filled fundraiser starring Barbara Streisand. Dinner and a private show from Babs only set the attendees back a measly $28,500 each. One celebrity not getting a warm welcome from Obama is Lindsay Lohan. The rehabbed starlet offered to host some events for the presidential nominee, but Obama's campaign said "No, thank you". With the line between celebrity and politician sometimes blurred in this election, it's not surprising that videos like this are popping up everywhere! Poor Joe Biden, the Democratic VP pick, hasn't been getting much air time lately. Well he's not going to take it anymore! In a recent TV interview Biden stated that paying high taxes is patriotic. That comment caused a little tizzy, but that's all. Sorry Biden...you are no match for the Palin machine. A new AP-Yahoo News poll found that some white Democrats' racial views regarding black people could possibly affect their vote despite their party affiliation.

What you didn't register/re-register to vote yet? Must have slipped your mind…I'm sure. T-Time did it and so should you!

Pinstripes for Everyone:

If this were a blog for VH1's Best Week Ever then the Yankees would be having the best week EVER! Derek Jeter broke Lou Gherig's record for all-time hits with 1,270! ARod finally settled his divorce with now ex-wife Cynthia. That lady is probably set for life! But the biggest Yankees news by far is that the "House that Ruth built", Yankee Stadium, held its last game this past Sunday. Old players joined current players and fans galore to bid adieu to the historic stadium. Even Babe Ruth's daughter threw out the first pitch. It is truly the end of an era. A newer, larger, shinier, prettier stadium is taking its place. The worst part about this is that the old stadium isn't even being kept as a memorial, but will be torn down! Businessmen can be so cold-blooded sometimes.

News Potpourri:

I'll leave you with some quick news tidbits that couldn't fit either here or there so they're getting their own paragraph! United Airlines is now doubling the "2nd checked bag fee" to $50. I could travel with just a carry on and buy stuff when I land for less than $50!!! Magician/crazy stuntman David Blaine is at it again. He is hanging upside down above the ice skating rink in New York's Central Park for 60 hours! Doctors have warned him about all the potential health risks, including blindness, but that never seems to stop the crazy daredevil. Israel's Foreign Affairs Minister Tzipi Livni won the Kadima Party's primary election after Prime Minister Ehud Olmert announced that he would not go up for re-election and would actually resign from his post. She could potentially become Israel's first Prime Minister since Golda Meir. Genetically altered meats are slowly making their way to your dinner table. The FDA is continuing to research and approve certain producers of this special meat, there are even claims that this meat will be good for humans. I'd rather become a vegetarian and watch what happens to my fellow man after 5 years of eating cloned meat than trust the government's word. Don't forget...once the FDA approves this they will not require labels warning you that the meat is genetically altered!!! The U.S. Embassy in Yemen was bombed killing 16 people. Authorities are still not sure who is to blame, but six men have been arrested in connection with the attack. Oprah announced her new book club pick...The Story of Edgar Sawtelle by David Wroblewski. It's probably sold out everywhere, but you'll eventually be able to get your hands on it when some housewife puts her copy up for sale online. And tennis star Serena Williams will be writing her memoir. The Wall Street crisis is affecting everyone differently. These 2 men just needed to hug it out. General David Petraeus, the man leading our troops in Iraq was just promoted to head the U.S. Central Command and will be leaving Iraq. Lieutenant General Raymond Odierno will replace him. Waldo of Where's Waldo? fame just turned 21! I personally thought he was already in his 30s when I was a kid. To honor this milestone Waldo is getting a Facebook and MySpace account. You all should totally friend him!

I hope this gives you an idea of what's going on in the world. Buck up…it's not so bad! Waldo is 21 and there will most likely be a Sex and The City II!!! All is right with the world!

Now go and have an intellectually stimulating conversation with your neighbor about what you've just learned.

~t

You can also check this out on my official blog.

T-Time

Weekly News Update for the Week of September 9th-15th 2008

Do you work all day and have no time or energy to find out what's going on in the world? Do you get bored and impatient watching TV anchors tell you over and over what's going on? Do you sometimes care more about what Britney Spears is doing than what President Bush said during his State of the Union address? If you answered yes to even one of these questions this is what you've been waiting for! Every week I'm going to give you a quick rundown of the past week's biggest headlines. I won't bore you with minute details and shove tons of information down your throats. These are just the facts with a little humor for measure! And if you want to know more you can always just Google it or ask me.

Celeb Multitaskers:

This has truly been Ellen DeGeneres' year. Not only did she get married, but she has just been named the new face of CoverGirl. I could see her wife, Portia de Rossi, but Ellen doesn't come off as a makeup kind of gal. I sacrificed even more brain cells, all for you my loyal readers, and watched the casting special for Paris Hilton's new BFF show. OMG...i couldn't believe how bad, cheesy, and fake the show is. I think this is a new low for the heiress. I recommend you don't waste your time and/or DVR space. MTV may be known for mind-numbing TV programming, but their reality stars are money makers. The Hills star Lauren Conrad just signed a 3-book deal with HarperCollins, Tila Tequila is coming out with a book to tell her story of being born to Vietnamese immigrants and then becoming a bisexual, MySpace star, and VH1 reality star David Otunga, a.k.a. Punk from I Love NY 2, just got engaged to Oscar winner Jennifer Hudson.

Actress Minnie Driver, finally popped out her baby boy. His name is Henry Story Driver, but the father's name is still a mystery. Britney Spears threw a double birthday part for her sons who turned 3 and 2 respectively. And she just announced that her new album will be titled Circus and debut on her 27th bday, December 2nd. JLo may have tamed her diva ways by getting married to Marc Anthony and giving birth to twins, but you can't keep that 'tude down for long! Ms. Lopez was supposed to be the guest judge at the Project Runway finale but bailed due to a "foot injury" (I'm sure you all understand how important feet are to judging runway shows). But the injury did not keep her from competing in her first triathlon in Malibu and then immediately jetting to NYC to celebrate her hubby's 40th birthday. Gwen Stefani is branching out in her own clothing line. She will be designing the new uniforms for W Hotel employees.

Michael Jackson may have turned the big 5-0, but he can't escape his problems. The King of Pop's private items, including the underwear used in his molestation case investigation, are being sold on eBay. You better get those PayPal accounts up and ready! Anne Hathaway's shady ex-boyfriend, Raffaello Follieri, pleaded guilty to conspiracy, fraud, and money laundering. Kanye West was arrested at LAX for attacking a paparazzo and breaking his camera. He was released shortly thereafter and probably won't be charged with anything too severe.
Star Jones has finalized her divorce from Al Reynolds. I'm still so shocked that never worked out. Star seems like such a pleasant and easy-going person. When one door closes another opens. Gal pals Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson may be getting hitched by the end of this year...at least that's what Ronson was heard telling someone.

Ashton Kutcher's career is doing sooooo well that he's decided to become an assistant football coach at Harvard-Westlake, a private L.A. prep school. Good to see that marrying Demi Moore has really elevated his star power. Bruce Willis is probably laughing his butt off on some yacht with a hot 20-year-old by his side. Whoever said movie stars and models aren't smart never met these superstars. Supermodel Christy Turlington just enrolled in Columbia to study maternal and child health, Chelsea Clinton will be joining her there to get her graduate degree in public health policy, and actors James Franco and Haley Joel Osment are both students at NYU.

The Country Music Awards nominations were announced. If you're interested to see if your fave honky tonk starts were nominated you can check out the full list here. The show will air Wednesday, November 12th on ABC. If cowboy boots and leather fringe aren't your thing but awards shows are then it's your lucky weekend. The 60th Annual Primetime Emmys will air this Sunday, September 21st on ABC. In case you forgot who was nominated...here's the list. The lesser-watched Creative Emmys happened this weekend, and one of our fave videos of the week I'm F**king Matt Damon star Sarah Silverman went home with an Emmy of her own for "outstanding original music and lyrics".

50 Days and Counting:

Who would have guessed that a little tube of lipstick could take over the presidential campaign? It all innocently began when GOP VP pick Sarah Palin commented that the only difference between a hockey mom and a pitbull was lipstick during her acceptance speech at the convention. Then Senator Barack Obama used the phrase "a pig in lipstick is still a pig" during a speech where he was bashing Senator John McCain's proposed policies. And then the McCain campaign took that comment and made a commercial about how sexually biased the Obama campaign is. Both comments were just commonly used jokes/phrases...get a lilfe politicians!!! Palin also had her big interview with ABC's Charles Gibson. It was broken down into several interviews which you can watch for yourself.

Obama's campaign went after McCain for being out-of-date, especially since he's admitted to not knowing how to use a computer or send e-mails. Obama has also been busy making his media rounds. He went on with David Letterman Obama was supposed to be on SNL with Michael Phelps but cancelled last-minute due to Hurricane Ike. He also had another financial huge month. His campaign raked in a cool $66M for the month of August.

Celebrities are coming out of the woodwork to express their great distaste for Mrs. Palin. Matt Damon said a Palin presidency would be like a really bad Disney movie, Pink thinks Palin hates women and is the furthest thing from a feminist, and Lindsay Lohan thinks Palin is media obsessed and a homophobe.

Another star turned politician has found success in the political world. Comedian and former SNL star, Al Franken, won the Democratic nomination for Minnesota Senate seat.

What you didn't register/re-register to vote yet? Must have slipped your mind…I'm sure. T-Time did it and so should you!

How Many Languages Do You Speak?:

The international community has had the audacity to try and take over the headlines.

Asif Ali Zardari, husband of the late Benazir Bhutto, became the new President of Pakistan. He took over for shamed President, Pervez Musharraf.

Russian prosecutors want to ban the cartoon South Park cause they consider it "extremist". That sounds more like an excuse you would here in China or Cuba, but not Russia!

North Korean Leader/Dictator Kim Jong Il has been causing a lot of concern. The ever-present ruler was missing at an important government holiday event. Rumors were swirling that he died months ago and has had body doubles posing on his behalf, but the truth seems to be that he suffered a stroke and he's too frail to make a public appearance.

News Potpourri:

I'll leave you with some quick news tidbits that couldn't fit either here or there so they're getting their own paragraph! This past Thursday was the unfortunate 7th Anniversary of September 11th. There were memorials held at each of the sites and across the county. Both Obama and McCain went to Ground Zero to pay their condolences. NYC's 911 system is now accepting videos, pictures, and text messages to assist in reporting emergencies. And speaking of emergencies...Hurricane Ike has beyond ravaged Texas, especially the town of Galveston. The storm cost cost the U.S. almost $22B...putting it behind Katrina ('05) and Andrew ('92). This past weekend was a dark, dark time for Wall Street. Two of the countries largest investment banks crashed. Lehman Brothers filed for Chapter 11 Bankruptcy cause no other company would bail them out, Merrill Lynch was bought out by Bank of America, and AIG is holding on for dear life! On a positive note, Burn After Reading, the new Coen bros, Brad Pitt and George Clooney movie came in #1 at the box office with a surprise $20M open. It's an end of an era. MTV's TRL will be airing its final episode in November. Although the show basically stopped playing videos, it's still sad to see the classic go. Lance Armstrong has announced that he will return to compete in his 8th Tour de France. And in honor of Sarah Silverman's Emmy here's your video of the week.

I hope this gives you an idea of what's going on in the world. Buck up…it's not so bad! Ellen DeGeneres is a CoverGirl and pigs and pitbulls are rocking lipstick!!! All is right with the world!

Now go and have an intellectually stimulating conversation with your neighbor about what you've just learned.

~t

You can also check this out on my official blog.

T-Time

Weekly News Update for the Week of August 26th-September 3rd 2008

Do you work all day and have no time or energy to find out what's going on in the world? Do you get bored and impatient watching TV anchors tell you over and over what's going on? Doyou sometimes care more about what Britney Spears is doing than what President Bush said during his State of the Union address? If you answered yes to even one of these questions this is what you've been waiting for! Every week I'm going to give you a quick rundown of the past week's biggest headlines. I won't bore you with minute details and shove tons of information down your throats. These are just the facts with a little humor for measure! And if you want to know more you can always just Google it or ask me.

*I apologize for the delayed T-Time this week. Holidays throw me off. But you have to admit that you probably wouldn't have read this till tonight anyway...so its all good in the hood!

Not Always A Sunny Day in Hollywood:

Kate Hudson is not only having bad luck in love but in law as well. She and her hairstylist, David Babaii, are being sued for stealing the idea to their volcanic ash hair product line. Why do famous people not get the fact that whatever they do will be all over the place?!? Nowhere to hide! A tragedy hit the family of hip-hop legend Dr. Dre. His 20 year-old son, Andre Young Jr., was found dead at the family home. Police have ruled out foul play, and the toxicology results have yet to be revealed. Times are tough, gas prices are high, and no one is getting hit harder than celebs. PDiddy has temporarily retired his private jet and is now flying commercial and coach! What has a world come to if even Diddy has to cut back on costs?!? English actress Helen Mirren just got very candid in a recent interview admitting that she used to do tons of coke and other drugs, was date raped a few times, and other wild stories.

The 25th MTV VMAs are airing this Sunday, September 7th. Rumors have been swirling whether Ms. Brit Brit would show, AND... she will! Shes not performing, but she is opening up the show. That should be reason enough to watch! The original pop star gone freak show, Michael Jackson, turned the big 5-0! First Madonna and now MJ...it looks like 50 is the new rehab. Olympic phenom Michael Phelps is becoming a celeb in his own right. He will be hosting the September 13th season premiere of Saturday Night Live. Hes also been to Disney World with Mickey Mouse, is starting a foundation with his $1M bonus from Speedo, and he will be one of the stars on Oprah's Olympics special.

Tony Soprano, actor James Gandolfini, got hitched to his fiancée Deborah Lin. Pictures of Halle Berry's baby have finally come out...and not surprisingly the baby is gorgeous. Speaking of babies...Tiger Woods and his wife, Elin, are expecting their 2nd child together, and funnyman David Spade just became a father to a baby girl (mother is Playboy model Jillian Grace).

77 Days and Counting:

Unless youve been living under a rock and/or not reading T-Time, you know that the Democratic National Convention came to an end and the Republication National Convention has begun. Before anything could start Senator John McCain named his VP (on the day of his 72nd birthday), and the winner is...Alaska Governor Sarah Palin! The RNC was off to a rough and delayed start due to Hurricane Gustav approaching Louisiana and some protester riots. But no crazy damage was done, and the show had to go on! Senator John McCain's wife, Cindy, spoke, as did current First Lady Laura Bush, and President Bush (via video...he had to stay in D.C. to deal with Gustav). "America's Mayor" Rudy Guiliani and Mrs. Palin spoke this evening. Giuliani took some big jabs at the Dems, but not as big as Palin's. Palin's speech was highly anticipated cause she has been beyond ripped apart in the media since the VP announcement. Her 17 year-old daughter, Bristol, is 5 months pregnant, her experience is being questioned as is her ability to take office while care for her family (something not brought up to the male candidates), but she did not decide to delve into her personal life.

The DNC ran pretty smoothly. Senator Barack Obama officially became the first black candidate to lead a major party ticket accepting his position. Both Clintons spoke. Hillary gave her 18M votes to Obama. She even poked fun at her famous pantsuits. One man not at the convention? Senator John Edwards. Rumor has it he can barely get people to return his phone calls. I guess being a cheat doesn't always pay off. Two men were arrested for planning an Obama assassination.

What you didn't register/re-register to vote yet? Must have slipped your mind...Im sure. T-Time did it and so should you!

News Potpourri:

I'll leave you with some quick news tidbits that couldn't fit either here or there so they're getting their own paragraph! Talk about weird news...a 20-mile cancer cluster has been discovered in PA (where residents have higher risk levels of getting a rare blood cancer). I wouldn't drink the water if I lived between Hazleton and Tamaqua. Friday, September 5th ABC, NBC, and CBS will simultaneously broadcast the "Stand Up For Cancer" Telethon, a huge celebrity sponsored event to help fund the search for a cure and increase awareness. The Lego Minifigure, the little man amidst your Lego blocks, turned 30! An FAA computer failure stalled a majority of East Coast flights earlier in the week (not the first time either)! The Bloomberg financial newswire accidentally published Apple CEO Steve Jobs' obituary. No worries...he's still alive and so are all things "i". Unfortunately Peanuts animator and voice of Snoopy, Bill Melendez, passed away at the age of 91. Facebook is becoming a movie. I wonder if it'll do as well as Batman: The Dark Knight, which just became only the 2nd movie in history to reach the $500M mark. The Southern parts of the U.S. and the Caribbean are being ravaged by storm after storm. It began with Hurricane/Tropical Storm Gustav and has continued with Tropical Storm Hanna, Hurricane Ike, and Tropical Storm Josephine. Hopefully all the storms will pass quickly and with little damage. The Tennis U.S. Open games will be coming to an end this coming weekend...watch out for an almost definite Nadal/Federer rematch. Google continued its clench on all things Internet when it unveiled its own internet browser called Chrome. With summer coming to an end all of your favorite and some new TV shows are coming back...so get your DVRs ready!

I hope this gives you an idea of what's going on in the world. Buck up...it's not so bad! Britney's back, and the presidential campaign keeps on getting more and more interesting! All is right with the world!

Now go and have an intellectually stimulating conversation with your neighbor about what you've just learned.

~t

You can also check this out on my official blog.

T-Time
Weekly News Update for the Week of September 4th-8th 2008

Do you work all day and have no time or energy to find out what's going on in the world? Do you get bored and impatient watching TV anchors tell you over and over what's going on? Do you sometimes care more about what Britney Spears is doing than what President Bush said during his State of the Union address? If you answered yes to even one of these questions this is what you've been waiting for! Every week I'm going to give you a quick rundown of the past week's biggest headlines. I won't bore you with minute details and shove tons of information down your throats. These are just the facts with a little humor for measure! And if you want to know more you can always just Google it or ask me.

The MTV Generation:

The MTV VMAs aired Sunday night, and they were blah, blah, and more blah. It was the 25th annual show so the producers tried to infuse some old school faves but with modern touches...i.e. Katy Perry singing 30 seconds of Madonna's Like a Virgin, Miley Cyrus playing Bon Jovi's Living on a Prayer on Guitar Hero, and even Pete Wentz and Ashlee Simpson-Wentz mocking the infamously creepy Michael Jackson and Lisa Marie Presley moment. Host Russell Brand, a British comedian only really known to the American public for his role in Forgetting Sarah Marshall, was a big fat dud. He made several politically charged comments, and then continued to rail on the poor Jonas Brothers for wearing promise rings (promising to stay virgins till marriage). The big star of the night was Ms. Britney Spears. I'll start with the positive...she looked phenomenal, she did a kind of cute skit with Superbad star Jonah Hill in the beginning, finally won her first (3 in all) VMA Moonmen, and had 2 outfit changes like a true pop diva. But the girl was obviously ridiculously nervous and possibly sedated (with each win she basically repeated herself verbatim). Hey...at least she had the guts to show up after last year's disaster! Katy Perry showed up to the award ceremony with tween sensation Miley Cyrus to disprove all the rumors that they hate each other. I give Miley 6 more months before she's full-blown celeb trouble! Christina Aguilera showed up to promote her greatest hits c.d. She's going for a new look, sexy goth (the only way I can explain it), which isn't really going for her, especially considering her ethereal perfume commercial played on loop throughout the show. X-Tina performed as well...and she LIP-SYNCHED! She's one of the few truly talented performers...why would she ever lip-sync? And lip-sync poorly at that? I don't get it. The rest of the performances were so-so. The standouts for me were Lil Wayne ft. Leona Lewis and T-Pain. He may be scary looking, but he sure puts on a high-energy show! And Kanye West's closing performance was really strong!

You know the world is back in order when Britney is all over the headlines! Brit's mom's book about parenting, a must read for anyone who wants to screw up their children, is being released soon and excerpts have leaked online. Mrs. Spears admits that Brit Brit lost her virginity at the young age of 14. I can't believe she lied about being virgin all that time! Lynne Spears also reveals that Britney did drugs and drank at an early age, and she blames Britney's managers for pushing her as a sex symbol and ruining her adolescence. Poor Brit...who new her childhood was so messed up?!? Well she grew up, had a crazy spell, and is now seemingly back to normal. She proved to the MTV community that she's back!

The Oprah Winfrey Show returned for its new season and premiered with the US Olympic athletes. One guest who won't be on with the Big O for a while? GOP VP pick Sarah Palin. Although Oprah is publically endorsing a candidate, Senator Barack Obama, for the first time in her career, she does not want to use her show as a platform for the presidential campaign. But Oprah's dealing with her own dramz. Her momma, Vernita Lee, is being sued by a high-end clothing store for owing over $155,000. I wonder if Momma O has any family to turn to for help?!?

Blistex came out with the list of the best celeb pouts. I know what you're thinking...Angelina's #1. Well you're wrong! Keira Knightly took the top spot. Keira's lips look like they haven't seen food in months...those Blistex folks are crazy! Surprisingly enough the New Kids On The Block comeback is doing fairly well. And if the 90s are too recent, then maybe a little 80s flashback will make you smile. There may be a new Ghostbusters movie coming soon! Stephen Colbert will have his DNA sent to space as part of the "Immortality Drive". And I'm only writing this because it's so bizarre, and I refuse to believe it, but Michael Jackson and Pam Anderson have reportedly been seen hanging out together. I'm chalking this one up to ridiculously, impossible. Madonna continues to do what she does best...be controversial. While performing on tour in Rome, she dedicated her hit Like a Virgin to the Pope. So naughty! And Tommy Lee Jones is suing Paramount Pictures for $10M claiming he missed out on the profits from his hit movie No Country for Old Men.

57 Days and Counting:

Now that the Republican National Convention is over, the political craziness has quieted down a smidge. Senator John McCain's VP pick, Sarah Palin, has become the rockstar for good and bad reasons of these elections. Her speech at the RNC brought in over 37.2M viewers (McCain brought in 39M viewers, just edging out Senator Barack Obama who brought in 38.4M). Palin's even helping raise money for Obama's campaign...his campaign raised almost $10M after her speech. Despite not making it onto Oprah's show, Palin has finally agreed to do a sit-down interview with ABC News later this week. The magazine US Weekly, T-Time's Bible, was called out for its bias political coverage for favoring the Dems over the GOPers. No big deal, right? Wrong...they've apparently lost thousands of subscriptions!

What you didn't register/re-register to vote yet? Must have slipped your mind…I'm sure. T-Time did it and so should you!

Wanna See My Muscle?:

Despite the Olympics being over, it was another big week in sports. Disgraced Olympic athlete, Marion Jones, was released from prison after serving time for lying to Feds about about her steroid use. Human dolphin Michael Phelps has been doing his celeb rounds by presenting at the VMAs and will continue by hosting SNL this coming Saturday, Sept. 13th. And what is a T-Time without a little OJ Simpson back in court news? That man must be so comfortable at this point...he probably spends 1/3 of the year either in court or a jail cell. This time he's back in front of a judge and jury to decide his fate after that Vegas robbery incident where he claims he was just trying to get back items that were rightfully his. The Tennis U.S. Open came to an end. Serena Williams beat out Jelena Jankovic for the women's U.S. Open title (her 3rd overall), and Roger Federer beat out Andy Murray for his 5th consecutive U.S. Open title and 13th Grand Slam title. Even the White House got into the sports action by hosting the final t-ball match on South Lawn. And sadly, Patriots QB, resident hottie, and Gisele's bf Tom Brady injured his knee during a game and will be out all season. I wonder if he'll need caretaking while Gisele is out stomping on runways?!?

News Potpourri:

I'll leave you with some quick news tidbits that couldn't fit either here or there so they're getting their own paragraph! NY has been keeping busy. The Tennis U.S. Open finished its run in Flushing, NY, and now all the fashionistas are in town for NYC Fashion Week. You can check out some of the hottest runway shows here. Oddly enough elephants have been ruling the headlines lately. MTV used an elephant in their Russell Brand/Britney Spears VMA promo ads, rapper T-Pain arrived at the VMAs on an elephant, reports show that Japanese elephants are good at math, and an elephant in China became hooked on heroin after eating heroin-laced bananas but is recovering from its addictions after a stint in rehab. That's the beauty of news...you can't make this stuff up! Coney Island's iconic Astroland is closing down for good. Microsoft's much-anticipated commercial response to Apple's funny ads went on air, and it wasn't all that funny. You can decide for yourself. If you didn't know who Bill Gates was or why this commercial was made, you would barely know the product they're promoting! You can decide for yourself.

I hope this gives you an idea of what's going on in the world. Buck up…it's not so bad! Roger Federer is getting closer to becoming the best tennis player ever and Britney's back!!! All is right with the world!

Now go and have an intellectually stimulating conversation with your neighbor about what you've just learned.

~t

You can also check this out on my official blog