Do you work all day and have no time or energy to find out what's going on in the world? Do you get bored and impatient watching TV anchors tell you over and over what's going on? Do you sometimes care more about what Britney Spears is doing than what President Bush said during his State of the Union address? If you answered yes to even one of these questions this is what you've been waiting for! Every week I'm going to give you a quick rundown of the past week's biggest headlines. I won't bore you with minute details and shove tons of information down your throats. These are just the facts with a little humor for measure! And if you want to know more you can always just Google it or ask me.
Celeb Recap:
Hello lover. Celebrity couples had a good week last week. Ashlee Simpson officially took the name “Wentz” but professionally will go by Ashlee Simpson-Wentz. Here’s something to ponder…under what letter will you have to look her up when she releases her next album…S or W? Got you thinking didn’t I?!? After 6 years of dating Calista Flockhart and Harrison Ford may finally be engaged (Ford denies the rumors though). Unfortunately not all Hollywood couples last, shocking I know. The universe has come to its senses and George Clooney is back to being a bachelor. It only took him a year to realize that he had nothing in common with a Las Vegas cocktail waitress. Bill Murray and his wife of 11 years are divorcing, and it’s not going to be pretty. She claims he was violent, a drug abuser, bad husband, etc!
When celebs do bad things they go all out. Rachael Ray may be a terrorist…at least according to many who saw her recent Dunkin Donuts ad. Ray was wearing a black & white printed scarf that “resembled” a keffiyeh, a traditional headdress worn by Arab men, and therefore conjured up images of Middle Eastern terrorists (http://blog.foreignpolicy.com/files/images/080528_ray.jpg). DD ended up pulling the ad. See kids…too much caffeine and EVOO can do that to a person. Celine Dion is not only a diva on stage but at home as well. According to the Palm Beach Post she uses 6.5M gallons of water at her personal home in Florida. I have a feeling that she’s not BFF with Al Gore. Supermodel Naomi Campbell was charged with assault and 2 other offenses after her big brouhaha at Heathrow Airport. And actress/former child star Tatum O’Neil was just busted for buying crack and cocaine in NYC. She claims she was researching a role as a junkie...that’s what they all say.
Madonna’s adoption of a Malawian boy, David Banda, finally became official. Her new single (‘Give It 2 Me’…which should have been her first single off the new album) and video were just released…and it’s classic Madonna. For anyone who loves Madonna but not ‘4 Minutes’ this will remind you why Queen M rules the world: http://perezhilton.com/tv/?videoid=d227451abf439.
Karma really is a b*tch. After Sharon Stone made a comment that maybe China got hit with a devastating earthquake, that killed over 50,000, due to bad karma for all the abuse the Chinese government has inflicted upon Tibet, Dior dropped several of her ads.
Almost there…Just a few more primaries to go:
So the madness is about to come to an end (hopefully)…we only have a few primaries to go. Tuesday, June 3rd the Dems will battle it out in South Dakota and Montana while Senator John McCain will sit pretty with uncontested wins in New Mexico and South Dakota (just like he did in Idaho on the 27th). Despite inching closer to the Democratic nomination Senator Barack Obama has not been having the best week ever. He misspoke when claiming that his uncle helped liberate the Auschwitz concentration camp (it was his great-uncle and Buchenwald camp), the RNC has been counting the how many days it has been since Obama has gone to Iraq on http://www.gop.com/, and he resigned from his church after all the dramz broke out. On the other hand Clinton just got a huge celebrity endorsement from Mr. Shake Your Bon-Bon, Ricky Martin, and she won Puerto Rico’s primary. Another celebrity got into the political mix as well. Actress Susan Sarandon said she would leave the U.S. if McCain won.
Senator Ted Kennedy just underwent a 6-hour surgery to remove the tumor from his brain. The surgeon says that everything went well and he is in recovery. He will be receiving chemotherapy and radiation to destroy the rest of it.
President Bush did not have a good week either. His former press secretary, Scott McClellan, just released a book, ‘What Happened’ bashing the President and his administration for how major events, such as Katrina and the Iraq War, were mishandled. I have a feeling someone won’t be invited to any White House functions any time soon.
News Potpourri:
I'll leave you with some quick news tidbits that couldn't fit either here or there so they're getting their own paragraph! Ben & Jerry’s has just released a new flavor called ‘Imagine Whirled Piece’ in honor of John Lennon. Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, President of Iran, announced that he wanted to meet with the Pope while he was in Italy. I wonder if the Pope would be able to convince him that the Holocaust really did happen?!? NY governor, David Patterson, announced that NY will recognize legal gay marriages. The 2008 Scripps National Spelling Bee came to an E-N-D this past week. Sameer Mishra won by correctly spelling the word ‘guerdon’. ‘Sex and the City: The Movie’ was a monster hit this past weekend bringing in almost $30M more than expected. Now there are talks of ruining the franchise by making a sequel. Fashion design icon Yves Saint Laurent, the man responsible for putting women in sexy pantsuits, died at the age of 71 after a long battle with illness and a brain tumor. Blues musician Bo Diddley also passed away. The man famous for hits like “Who Do You Love” died at the age of 79 from heart failure. For anyone who’s idea of video games is still Mario Bros…here’s your video of the week: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sGQ20yDDVzQ.
I hope this gives you an idea of what's going on in the world. Buck up…it's not so bad! Rachael Ray is the most dangerous person out there, and the presidential campaign primaries are almost over. All is right with the world!
Now go and have an intellectually stimulating conversation with your neighbor about what you've just learned.
~t
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