T-Time
Weekly News Update for the Week of January 13th–19th 2008
Do you work all day and have no time or energy to find out what's going on in the world? Do you get bored and impatient watching TV anchors tell you over and over what's going on? Do you sometimes care more about what Britney Spears is doing than what President Bush said during his State of the Union address? If you answered yes to even one of these questions this is what you've been waiting for! Every week I'm going to give you a quick rundown of the past week's biggest headlines. I won't bore you with minute details and shove tons of information down your throats. These are just the facts with a little humor for measure! And if you want to know more you can always just Google it or ask me.
The Globes that Weren’t:
So as I previously mentioned the Golden Globes did not actually happen this past Sunday. There was no red carpet, no Joan Rivers talking smack about the celebrities and no drawn-out acceptance speeches. Instead Billy Bush and Nancy O’Dell from Access Hollywood announced the winners from their studio. It was so old Hollywood you truly had to be there. In an earlier T-Time I listed the 8 important categories, the nominees and my predictions for the winners. Well I hope you did not bet based on my obvious lack of “winner-guessing” ability because I was 1 for 8. Here is the list of Golden Globe winners:
Best Picture-Drama:
'Atonement'
Best Actor-Drama:
Daniel Day-Lewis 'There Will Be Blood'
Best Actress-Drama*the only one I got right:
Julie Christie 'Away from Her'
Best Picture-Musical/Comedy:
'Sweeney Todd'
Best Actor-Musical/Comedy:
Johnny Depp 'Sweeney Todd'
Best Actress-Musical/Comedy:
Marion Cotillard 'La Vie En Rose'
Best Television Drama:
'Mad Men'
Best Television Musical/Comedy:
'Extras'
I highly recommend taking the time to see these movies/tv shows. If the Hollywood Foreign Press says they’re the best of the best then they may be on to something.
Death Becomes Them:
Celebrity has taken a morbid turn this week. The Associated Press, AP, announced that they would be increasing their coverage of Britney Spears. That’s how insane her life has become. The AP thinks she’s valid enough news just like the Presidential elections and the war in Iraq. See…these T-Times don’t seem so far-fetched anymore. I’m totally paving the journalistic way. But enough about me…back to Britney. Part of upping their coverage is writing an obituary for poor Ms. Spears. Based on her current lifestyle she could drop dead at any moment so they just want to be prepared. Oh in case you were wondering, Britney did not attend her latest deposition and has lost custody of her kids indefinitely. But it’s ok cause she has her married, paparazzo boyfriend to console her. Lindsay Lohan is still paying for her many DUI’s. Her latest debt to society is going to be working at a morgue. I guess the whole point is to see dead people and be scared out of your mind to ever drive drunk again. But if you’ve seen Paris Hilton without makeup and weren’t scared straight I doubt a morgue will fix you! Brad Renfro of The Client fame was found dead in his apartment earlier this week. At the tender age of 25 he had already fought many battles against drugs and alcohol, and it seems unfortunately he lost. He obviously wasn’t in a good place because two days before his death he had "F--k All" tattooed on his back.
A little bit of Primary, a little bit of Caucus:
Another week and another string of primaries and caucuses. This election is getting more interesting by the day. There is no true front-runner for either party as of yet, but here are some of the recent results. Mitt Romney spent all his time and energy in Michigan where he was born and his father was governor, and it paid off. Romney took first spot for the GOPs while Hillary Clinton beat out her fellow Dems. Clinton and Romney also ruled in the Nevada caucuses. John McCain showed again that he’s a force to be reckoned with by grabbing hold of South Carolina and was trailed by Huckabee and Thompson. The Democrats will fight it out in South Carolina on January 26th. And the Sunshine State, Florida, is on deck for January 29th. If you’re interested to see to whom some celebrities have donated check out this link: http://perezhilton.com/2008-01-14-who-gave-and-to-whom. As of now, in the national poll, Clinton and McCain reign supreme. Let’s see what South Carolina and Florida bring.
Weekly News Update for the Week of January 13th–19th 2008
Do you work all day and have no time or energy to find out what's going on in the world? Do you get bored and impatient watching TV anchors tell you over and over what's going on? Do you sometimes care more about what Britney Spears is doing than what President Bush said during his State of the Union address? If you answered yes to even one of these questions this is what you've been waiting for! Every week I'm going to give you a quick rundown of the past week's biggest headlines. I won't bore you with minute details and shove tons of information down your throats. These are just the facts with a little humor for measure! And if you want to know more you can always just Google it or ask me.
The Globes that Weren’t:
So as I previously mentioned the Golden Globes did not actually happen this past Sunday. There was no red carpet, no Joan Rivers talking smack about the celebrities and no drawn-out acceptance speeches. Instead Billy Bush and Nancy O’Dell from Access Hollywood announced the winners from their studio. It was so old Hollywood you truly had to be there. In an earlier T-Time I listed the 8 important categories, the nominees and my predictions for the winners. Well I hope you did not bet based on my obvious lack of “winner-guessing” ability because I was 1 for 8. Here is the list of Golden Globe winners:
Best Picture-Drama:
'Atonement'
Best Actor-Drama:
Daniel Day-Lewis 'There Will Be Blood'
Best Actress-Drama*the only one I got right:
Julie Christie 'Away from Her'
Best Picture-Musical/Comedy:
'Sweeney Todd'
Best Actor-Musical/Comedy:
Johnny Depp 'Sweeney Todd'
Best Actress-Musical/Comedy:
Marion Cotillard 'La Vie En Rose'
Best Television Drama:
'Mad Men'
Best Television Musical/Comedy:
'Extras'
I highly recommend taking the time to see these movies/tv shows. If the Hollywood Foreign Press says they’re the best of the best then they may be on to something.
Death Becomes Them:
Celebrity has taken a morbid turn this week. The Associated Press, AP, announced that they would be increasing their coverage of Britney Spears. That’s how insane her life has become. The AP thinks she’s valid enough news just like the Presidential elections and the war in Iraq. See…these T-Times don’t seem so far-fetched anymore. I’m totally paving the journalistic way. But enough about me…back to Britney. Part of upping their coverage is writing an obituary for poor Ms. Spears. Based on her current lifestyle she could drop dead at any moment so they just want to be prepared. Oh in case you were wondering, Britney did not attend her latest deposition and has lost custody of her kids indefinitely. But it’s ok cause she has her married, paparazzo boyfriend to console her. Lindsay Lohan is still paying for her many DUI’s. Her latest debt to society is going to be working at a morgue. I guess the whole point is to see dead people and be scared out of your mind to ever drive drunk again. But if you’ve seen Paris Hilton without makeup and weren’t scared straight I doubt a morgue will fix you! Brad Renfro of The Client fame was found dead in his apartment earlier this week. At the tender age of 25 he had already fought many battles against drugs and alcohol, and it seems unfortunately he lost. He obviously wasn’t in a good place because two days before his death he had "F--k All" tattooed on his back.
A little bit of Primary, a little bit of Caucus:
Another week and another string of primaries and caucuses. This election is getting more interesting by the day. There is no true front-runner for either party as of yet, but here are some of the recent results. Mitt Romney spent all his time and energy in Michigan where he was born and his father was governor, and it paid off. Romney took first spot for the GOPs while Hillary Clinton beat out her fellow Dems. Clinton and Romney also ruled in the Nevada caucuses. John McCain showed again that he’s a force to be reckoned with by grabbing hold of South Carolina and was trailed by Huckabee and Thompson. The Democrats will fight it out in South Carolina on January 26th. And the Sunshine State, Florida, is on deck for January 29th. If you’re interested to see to whom some celebrities have donated check out this link: http://perezhilton.com/2008-01-14-who-gave-and-to-whom. As of now, in the national poll, Clinton and McCain reign supreme. Let’s see what South Carolina and Florida bring.
Not a Good Time to be a Cruise:
Cruise stock has slowly been plummeting ever since Tom went AWOL and began jumping on couches declaring his love. This week a controversial, tell-all book about Mr. Cruise came out. Andrew Morton, an English author, has finally released his book, Tom Cruise: An Unauthorized Biography, with all the deep, dark secrets about Cruise’s life. He claims that although Tom is heterosexual (which many people dispute) Suri is actually the reincarnation of Scientologist founder L. Ron Hubbard. Katie Holmes was apparently impregnated with Hubbard’s frozen sperm. Morton also claims that Katie signed a contract to marry him and carry the child in return for a whole lot of money and fame. Nicole Kidman, his 2nd ex-wife, doesn’t see her kids often because she never converted to Scientology and was basically forced out. Apparently she even considered becoming a nun after her divorce. In addition to the book’s release there have been several videos leaked on the Internet showing Cruise discussing/promoting Scientology and how it saved 9/11 victims, can beat psychiatric drugs, etc. If Tom weren’t crazy enough we got a full helping of crazy with his wife Katie. Katie has been promoting her horrifically cheesy movie Mad Money (which bombed in the box office), and displaying her best fembot/Stepford wife impression. When asked about her daughter Suri, Holmes exclaimed that she’s a wonderful woman and artist. Suri is 20 months old. What kind of woman could she possibly be? And artist…is finger painting the sign of the next Renaissance? When asked about her marriage she describes it as amazing. Her costars in the movie? Amazing. The experience of running the NYC Marathon? You guessed it…amazing!
News Potpourri:
I'll leave you with some quick news tidbits that couldn't fit either here or there so they're getting their own paragraph! Oprah is continuing in her quest for world dominance. It was just announced that she will be getting her own TV network called OWN (Oprah Winfrey Network) which will be part of the Discovery network. More Oprah…that’s a-ok with me! The FDA has just approved the safety of meat from cloned animals. Although it will be many more years before this meat hits your local supermarket shelves it is technically safe to eat. And for the cherry on the sick and twisted sundae, the meat doesn’t have to be labeled as cloned. It’s a voluntary process. I don’t know about you, but I’m about ready to become a vegetarian. O.J. Simpson was released from jail on a $250,000 bail. But don’t worry I’m sure he’ll be back soon…it’s like a second home to him. After 12 years on the Great White Way, Rent is closing its curtains for good. But if you can’t live without you can find the sub par movie on DVD. Nancy Pelosi has taken her duties as House Speaker to new heights by promoting her “Greening the Capitol” plan. Part of the plan is to replace the unhealthy typical cafeteria food with higher quality cuisine in the congressional cafeterias. Forget about the war and economy; let’s get some brie and hummus in the joint. Eddie Murphy and his wife of 2 whole weeks, Tracy Edmonds, have decided to split. I just can’t figure out why I’m not surprised by this. Matthew McConaughey and his model girlfriend, Camila Alves, announced that they are expecting their first child. Hallelujah…a gorgeous guy like Matt would be a waste if he didn’t reproduce.
I hope this gives you an idea of what's going on in the world. Buck up…it's not so bad! The AP is going to cover even more Britney news and our dear politicians will be eating better meals. All is right with the world!
Now go and have an intellectually stimulating conversation with your neighbor about what you've just learned.
~t
You can also check this out on www.myspace.com/tgitt or on my new, official blog http://ttimeupdate.blogspot.com/
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