Do you work all day and have no time or energy to find out what's going on in the world? Do you get bored and impatient watching TV anchors tell you over and over what's going on? Do you sometimes care more about what Britney Spears is doing than what President Bush said during his State of the Union address? If you answered yes to even one of these questions this is what you've been waiting for! Every week I'm going to give you a quick rundown of the past week's biggest headlines. I won't bore you with minute details and shove tons of information down your throats. These are just the facts with a little humor for measure! And if you want to know more you can always just Google it or ask me.
Pop Go The Celebs:
Britney Spears has been laying low lately. I guess trying to prove you’re not crazy is hard work. Well her hard work is paying off cause she has taped her 2nd appearance on ‘How I Met Your Mother’. Here’s a sneak peek: http://youtube.com/user/howimetyourmother?ob=1. On an even higher note Ms. Spears attended another custody hearing and had her visitation rights expanded.
Lindsay Lohan hasn’t had much luck resurrecting her personal life or career after her multiple rehab stints. After a picture of the “actress” wearing a fur coat was published a girl went public that Lohan stole the coat from her. Apparently this isn’t the first time. Lindz also had some klepto tendencies during her 3rd stay in rehab where she stole from co-patients. Next time you go out and are missing something you know who to look for! Lohan’s mom, Dina, was actually just honored as one of Long Island’s Top Twenty Moms by an organization called ‘Mingling Moms’. Were they smoking crack?!? I could make a top twenty list as to why she’s the worst mom ever…her daughter has been in multiple car accidents, has entered rehab for drugs AND alcohol all before the tender age of 21, can’t be trusted with other peoples’ property, and now Dina is pimping out the younger kids on a reality show for the E! Channel.
In celeb justice: actress Uma Thurman can finally breathe a sigh of relief. The man accused of stalking her over the past couple of years was found guilty and could face up to a year behind bars. And Hulk Hogan’s son was sentenced to 8 months in jail and 5 years probation for a car accident that left his good friend in critical condition.
Around the World in 30 Seconds:
The Olympic torch continues its tour around the world. This past week it achieved what most humans have never done…the torch made its way to the top of Mount Everest. Ok…it wasn’t the actual torch but a special one that could stand up to the elements. It’s still quite an accomplishment!
Russia continues to pretend that it’s run as a democracy. The new president Dmitri Medvedev was sworn into office and “shockingly” chose the former president Vladimir Putin as the Prime Minister. How creative…if you can’t be president again just make the people vote for your pick and then have yourself chosen as basically 2nd in command.
Myanmar is still reeling from the devastating cyclone. The full damage is still uncertain, but the death toll is estimated to reach as high as 100,000. At first the government was refusing America’s help, but they’ve finally come to their senses and are allowing U.S. aid into their country.
Israel just turned 60 years old. Despite all the drama over the years the country has managed to not only survive but also prosper. Not sure how to celebrate? Falafel...duh!
Politics Potpourri:
Democratic presidential candidates Senator Barack Obama and Senator Hillary Clinton were really going at each other before the Indiana and North Carolina primaries. Clinton narrowly won Indiana, but lost North Carolina by a big 14 points. Although they each one, Clinton’s narrow win has increased talk about her dropping out. And more and more superdelegates are throwing their support behind Obama. But if I know the Clintons, and I almost feel like I do, they’ll have to physically remove a kicking and screaming Hillary. David Letterman is all over the presidential race. He had both Obama and Clinton on his show, on separate nights of course, to do his ‘Top 10’ List. Some parts were funny some not so much, but here are both clips for your enjoyment: http://youtube.com/watch?v=T9scCjieHWM / http://youtube.com/watch?v=vyzeqihfmhY. The wonderful Garden State was back in the news due to its quality politicians. Former NJ governor Jim McGreevey and his soon to be ex-wife Dina Matos McGreevey having been battling over the details of their divorce in court. The court happenings are being held private but I’m guessing it’s going something like this:
DM: I never knew you were gay. I was deceived. Give me your money.
JM: I don’t want to give you my money. I’m a gay American…leave me alone. Do you want me to bring up the threesome with the driver?
DM: Ok forget it. Just give me some of your money.
One of president Bush’s twin daughters got married this past Saturday. Instead of choosing to have a big blowout in the White House Jenna Bush and Henry Hager decided on a private and simple ceremony on her parents’ ranch in Crawford, Texas. Here are the officially released pics: http://abcnews.go.com/US/Springtime/popup?id=4832462&contentIndex=1&start=false&page=1. And yes, she will be taking his last name.
News Potpourri:
I'll leave you with some quick news tidbits that couldn't fit either here or there so they're getting their own paragraph! Monday, May 5h was a sad day for ice cream lovers. Irvine Robbins one of the co-founders of Baskin-Robbins ice cream died at the grand ol’ age of 90. I’m using his long life as inspiration and excuse to eat ice cream every day! Just when you thought you couldn’t care less about the happenings of ‘The Hills’ crew MTV announced that they are coming back for a 4th season. Woohoo…I can’t wait to see more Lauren/Heidi drama! The North Lauderdale City Commission is calling for Florida to split into 2 states, North and South Florida (very original). They claim it’s in the best interest of the citizens and residents of the Sunshine State, but I think that uptight North Florida is just sick of party-crazy South Florida. First Pluto is no longer a planet and now Florida is going to become 2 states!?! I can’t deal with all these changes. Both Tina Turner and Madonna have announced upcoming tours. Speaking from experience Queen M is an amazing performer so her tour is a must-see, and Turner is an icon who also puts on a high-energy show. I’ve already bookmarked Ticketmaster.com! In case you’re like T-Time who over-ordered checks and hence are still using snail-mail you may like to know that the price of stamps has gone up again to 42¢. ‘Iron Man’ continues to dominate the box office while ‘Speedracer’ crashed and burned. And in quite possibly the most exciting news of the week the ‘90210’ spinoff show is making more progress. Jennie Garth is coming back as Kelly Taylor, who is now a guidance counselor. And rumor has it that Tori Spelling will also be on the show. The only thing that would make this complete is the return of Brandon and Dylan!
I hope this gives you an idea of what's going on in the world. Buck up…it's not so bad! 90210 is coming back and Britney is normal enough to see her kids more! All is right with the world!
Now go and have an intellectually stimulating conversation with your neighbor about what you've just learned.
~t
No comments:
Post a Comment