Do you work all day and have no time or energy to find out what's going on in the world? Do you get bored and impatient watching TV anchors tell you over and over what's going on? Do you sometimes care more about what Britney Spears is doing than what President Bush said during his State of the Union address? If you answered yes to even one of these questions this is what you've been waiting for! Every week I'm going to give you a quick rundown of the past week's biggest headlines. I won't bore you with minute details and shove tons of information down your throats. These are just the facts with a little humor for measure! And if you want to know more you can always just Google it or ask me.
The Celeb Life:
Britney Spears is slowly creeping back into the headlines. Now that Paris is in “love” with Benji Madden and no longer acts like a party girl, and Lindsay is struggling to salvage the career she buried under multiple arrests and rehab stints, Britney has found her time to shine. Ms. Spears got into yet another car accident. According to my very scientific calculations this is accident #1,347. I guess to de-stress from crashing cars and not doing much else she decided to go on vacation to Costa Rica with (drum roll please) Mel Gibson. This isn’t the first time the duo has hung out. They’re former Malibu neighbors, and Mel and his wife are trying to help Britney find her way through faith. It’s like the blind leading the blind except replace blind with crazy.
In case you were wondering why you haven’t run into any celebs randomly it’s cause they’re all in Cannes, France for one of the most prestigious film festivals. They should be there to promote important movies but it’s become more of a who’s who of celebs just coming to be seen and feel fabulous in the French Riviera. The biggest talk at the festival has been about Angelina Jolie expecting twins. Jack Black broke the news during a promotional interview, and Angie confirmed it. Great, 2 more perfect human beings are about to grace this planet…just what we need. And actually focusing on movies…the new “Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull” movie is all the rage. It’s getting mixed reviews but is expected to blow up the box office.
The Simpson family can add another wedding album to their collection. Younger sister Ashlee married ‘Fall Out Boy’ bassist Pete Wentz in San Diego this past weekend. Rumor had it that the nuptials were rushed due to her pregnancy, which everybody and their mother denied. Well this time rumor was true cause the couple confirmed to all their guests that they are indeed expecting. I wonder if that baby will be born wearing eyeliner? Older sister Jessica has been experiencing her own drama. Despite being escorted to the wedding by ‘boyfriend’ Tony Romo, rumor has it that he dumped her. And with the track record of rumors in the Simpson clan I’m going to believe this one.
Strange but true new celeb couples of the week…Kate Hudson dropped Owen Wilson like a bad habit and is now getting cozy with Tour de France champ Lance Armstrong (that man loves his blondes). For me the oddest couple of the week has to be Jennifer Aniston and John Mayer…I just don’t get it. Bonus point if you can find the connecting person in both these couples! Sheryl Crow was engaged to Lance and is friends with both Aniston and Mayer.
Political Party:
The seemingly never-ending race that is this year’s presidential elections continues to top the headlines. Senator Hillary Clinton won big in West Virginia’s primary giving her more ammo to stay in the race. Needless to say Senator John McCain won by a landslide as well. Since McCain is the presumptive GOP nominee he has been using his free time traveling the country discussing the importance of preserving the environment and other important issues. He also gave a speech depicting what America life would be like 4 years into his presidency…read or take a listen: http://johnmccain.com/Informing/News/Speeches/e8114732-e294-4a0d-b0b6-e5fa16857f61.htm. And he paid a visit to the SNL set: http://youtube.com/watch?v=OF7DBXlt98c. Senator Barack Obama has upped his ‘feisty factor’ this past week. He attacked the media for attacking his wife, he attacked President Bush for indirectly attacking him during a speech in Israel, he’s gone after McCain for criticizing him on agreeing to talk to terrorists/dictators, and he brought back the flag pin. Despite all this dramz he still managed to score an audience of over 75,000 people at a rally in Portland, Oregon (here are some pics: http://thepage.time.com/photos-obamas-portland-rally-with-record-breaking-crowd/). In addition to all the super delegates twice former presidential candidate John Edwards threw his support behind Obama. Biting your nails in anticipation for the next primary? Well Tuesday, May 20th is your lucky day. Clinton and Obama will be duking it out in Kentucky and Oregon.
News Potpourri:
I'll leave you with some quick news tidbits that couldn't fit either here or there so they're getting their own paragraph! California’s Supreme Court took a huge step by legalizing gay marriages in its state. Many Hollywood stars have expressed their excitement. Comedian/TV talk show host Ellen DeGeneres announced that she and girlfriend, actress Portia de Rossi will tie the knot. China is still reeling from a massive earthquake that hit over 2 weeks ago. Today they had a moment of silence for the 34,073 and counting people who died. Tyra Banks chose “America’s Next Top Model” for the 10th cycle of her hit show. ‘Plus size’ a.k.a. ‘2/3 of America size’ Whitney Thompson took the top prize (http://www.cwtv.com/thecw/gen-gallery-antm10-models/14/1). Kentucky Derby winner, Big Brown, won his 2nd title at the Preakness. He’s now 1 title away from having the Triple Crown. Let the off-track betting begin! For all you Broadway junkies the 2008 Tony nominations were announced: http://www.tonyawards.com/en_US/nominees/index.html. It seems like every year either California or Florida is being ravaged by wildfires, and this year is no different. Florida has been battling the fires for the past week. Maxim magazine came out with its ‘Hot 100’ List: http://www.maxim.com/Girls/2008Hot100/slideshow/2463.aspx. At this point I don’t think I have to point out the obvious missing person! In case the thought of summer and bathing suits isn’t motivation enough to get your butt in the gym here’s your link for the week: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-565974/Pictured-The-fat-guinea-pig-thats-size-football--rest-worlds-overweight-pets.html.
I hope this gives you an idea of what's going on in the world. Buck up…it's not so bad! Brad and Angie are reproducing double-time, Hillary is still in it to win it, and you’re only 4 days away from a long weekend (hooray Memorial Day)! All is right with the world!
Now go and have an intellectually stimulating conversation with your neighbor about what you've just learned.
~t
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