Do you work all day and have no time or energy to find out what's going on in the world? Do you get bored and impatient watching TV anchors tell you over and over what's going on? Do you sometimes care more about what Britney Spears is doing than what President Bush said during his State of the Union address? If you answered yes to even one of these questions this is what you've been waiting for! Every week I'm going to give you a quick rundown of the past week's biggest headlines. I won't bore you with minute details and shove tons of information down your throats. These are just the facts with a little humor for measure! And if you want to know more you can always just Google it or ask me.
Spears, Spears Everywhere:
So a little teenage pregnancy and bi-polar disorder can’t keep the Spears clan down. Slowly and surely both Britney and younger sister Jamie-Lynn have been regaining their footing. Ms. Spears has been cleaning up her act. She had a guest role on ‘How I Met Your Mother’. Check out the highlight clip here: http://youtube.com/watch?v=44ivR3k0pa8. Britney’s dad is still her legal conservator which means he controls everything she does. She’s seeing her kids a few times a week, and she’s opening up a dance studio. Jamie-Lynn has also had a busy week. Little Ms. Spears is officially engaged to her baby-daddy. She also guest-starred on Ashton Kutcher’s new show ‘Miss Guided’. Hopefully she won’t continue to follow in her sister’s footsteps cause that would be just too much craziness to handle!
Getting Sporty On You:
T-Time prides itself in making the loyal readers well-rounded conversationalists so in honor of March Madness, in addition to the celeb gossip and political roller coaster, I’m going to fill you up with some sports news. The madness is slowly coming to an end with the Final Four in place. North Carolina, Tennessee, Kansas and UCLA will be duking it out for the NCAA title and the title as the best men’s basketball team in the nation. What makes this Final Four even more special is that they are each ranked #1 in their respective divisions. Tennis champ Serena Williams has been seen all over town with rapper Common. Common must be quite comfortable with his masculinity if he can date a Williams sister! Another tennis champ has found true love. Cutie Andy Roddick has found “the one” in the form of a Sports Illustrated swimsuit model, Brooklyn Decker. The pair just announced their engagement. And God’s gift to Earth and soccer star/stud, David Beckham made his 100th appearance (or cap if you want to sound super intelligent and European) for England. He’s only the 5th English player to hold such an honor. Could he be more perfect? I think not!
Love Celeb Style:
This was not a good week for celeb relationships. Couples were officially dropping like flies!
1) Denise Richards officially dropped the married last name ‘Sheen’, as in Charlie Sheen, and had the tattoo of his name covered up with a fairy.
2) Pam Anderson and Rick Salomon finally had their quickie marriage annulled
3) Jackass star Johnny Knoxville’s wife had had enough a while ago, but their divorce just came through.
4) Robin Williams and his wife of 19 years, 2nd wife who used to be his nanny when he was with the first wife (keep up!), Marsha Garces Williams are getting divorced as well.
Red, White and 3 Candidates:
After a quick Easter break the race was back on. Even presidential hopefuls have to deal with privacy protection. It was discovered that 3 State Department contract workers breached Barack Obama’s, Hillary Clinton’s and John McCain’s passport files. Nothing too personal was leaked. Clinton “misremembered” her trip to Bosnia in the 90’s claiming she was under heavy attack when really it was a pretty pleasant welcome. Obama took a break from campaigning to go bowling and proved that he’s a much better speaker than bowler. Someone finally crossed the line and asked Chelsea Clinton, who’s been out stumping for her mom) about the whole Lewinsky scandal, and she wasn’t having any of it (her exact words were “it’s none of your business”)! McCain has been busy trying to keep his name in the news. Now he’s traveling the country reminding the people what true Americans he and his family are (in addition to him, his grandfather, father and son have all served for the U.S.A.) If you’re finding it difficult to choose a candidate maybe you need to think outside the box. Instead of who has the better healthcare plan you should ask yourself who do I like more, Brad Pitt or Angelina Jolie? Confused? Check out the candidates and their celeb relatives: http://www.usmagazine.com/pitt_related_to_obama_jolie_to_clinton.
News Potpourri:
I'll leave you with some quick news tidbits that couldn't fit either here or there so they're getting their own paragraph! Lots of false rumors have been flying around the Internet. There is no sex tape, at least not at this point in time, of Lindsay Lohan and her ex-boyfriend Calum Best. The sexually explicit photos of ‘Sex and the City’s’ Kristin Davis, a.k.a. Charlotte, may or may not be legit…the jury’s still out on that. And Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie did not get married. Oprah gave the world another reason to want to be her best friend. She bought her bff, Gayle King, a $7M New York City apartment (the lease is under the name of one of the big O’s many companies). New Kids On the Block are officially getting back together and performing on the Today show this Friday!!! First the Spice Girls, then 90210, and now NKOTB?!? I think the big guy upstairs is finally listening! KFC (Kentucky Fried Chicken) is officially changing its name to KGC (Kentucky Grilled Chicken) so now you don’t have to feel as guilty when you order the bucket o’ wings! Demi Moore admitted to having leech therapy done for health benefits. What happened to a simple nip and tuck procedure? Flying out of New York potentially just got a lot more uncomfortable. On Tuesday, a federal appeals court said “heck no” to an attempt by New York to create a Passenger Bill of Rights which would force airlines to provide food, water and working restrooms for fliers stuck at New York airports. Senator Charles Schumer is trying to fight this and create a national bill, but for now next time you fly make sure you stock up on snacks and steer clear of drinking too many liquids!
I hope this gives you an idea of what's going on in the world. Buck up…it's not so bad! Britney may soon be back to normal and KFC just became a whole lot “healthier”. All is right with the world!
Now go and have an intellectually stimulating conversation with your neighbor about what you've just learned.
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