Do you work all day and have no time or energy to find out what's going on in the world? Do you get bored and impatient watching TV anchors tell you over and over what's going on? Do you sometimes care more about what Britney Spears is doing than what President Bush said during his State of the Union address? If you answered yes to even one of these questions this is what you've been waiting for! Every week I'm going to give you a quick rundown of the past week's biggest headlines. I won't bore you with minute details and shove tons of information down your throats. These are just the facts with a little humor for measure! And if you want to know more you can always just Google it or ask me.
Diva Update:
Some of our favorite divas were making headlines this past week. Both Madonna and Mariah Carey beat separate Elvis records. Mariah’s new single ‘Touch My Body’ went to #1 on the Billboard Hot 100 Singles chart making it her 18th song to hit #1 (Elvis previously held the record with 17 songs). The only thing standing in her way of being the ultimate record holder is a small English band called The Beatles (they have 20 #1 songs)! Not to be outdone Madonna broke an Elvis record as well. Madonna’s new single ‘4 Minutes’ is her 37th Top 10 hit which means she has now surpassed Elvis Presley with the most Top 10s. The ultimate R&B/Hip Hop collaboration happened this past Friday when Beyoncé and Jay-Z got hitched. The couple have yet to confirm the reports, but 6 years of dating + a NY marriage license + white tent full of white flowers + celebrity guests in dresses and tuxes = wedding. Naomi Campbell proved yet again that beauty will only get you so far when you have a severe anger and violence problem. Campbell was arrested yet again this time for causing a raucous on a plane and spitting on a police officer in London’s Heathrow Airport. I can’t blame the poor girl though…the airline wouldn’t let her bring ALL of her luggage on the plane…how rude!
Olympic Sized Drama:
The Olympics keep stirring up controversy. Riots and protests are breaking out all over the world. When it was announced that the Olympics would be held in China protesters began fighting the games. They are fighting China’s cruel control over Tibet. During the initial torch-lighting ceremony in Greece protesters tried to break up the ceremony. Now the torch is traveling through Paris and is receiving more attacks. The torch had to be extinguished twice and eventually was placed on a bus for safety. Apparently this in not only an international issue…climbers in San Francisco scaled the Golden Gate Bridge and put up massive banners saying ‘One World, One Dream. Free Tibet’ and “Free Tibet 08”. President Bush and other political leaders are being asked to boycott the games this year.
Knock, Knock. Who’s There? The Next President:
The presidential campaign continues to roll out fun and exciting news. April Fool’s brought out the silly side of the candidates. Hillary Clinton has lightened up a bit and even made a few jokes. To see what she challenged Barack Obama to check out: http://www.redlasso.com/ClipPlayer.aspx?id=71435656-84aa-406d-9d97-e125e9b3aee9. John McCain also let loose and poked fun at David Letterman on ‘The Late Show’ (even copying his mannerisms): http://youtube.com/watch?v=0_I3Gr-O2Ak. Clinton’s campaign finally released their tax returns from 2000 through 2006 with some 2007 information as well. Between the 2 Clintons they brought in almost $109 million. FYI…your tax return is due April 15th…so you better get on top of that. Since Obama and Clinton are still duking it out for their party’s nomination, McCain is continuing to focus on a VP candidate. Rumors have begun to swirl that Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice may want the position. McCain received a monster endorsement…Heidi Montag (from 'The Hills’ “fame”) said she would vote for him. Unfortunately Ms. Montag isn’t registered to vote. Don’t be like Heidi and register to vote at: http://rockthevote.com/.
News Potpourri:
I'll leave you with some quick news tidbits that couldn't fit either here or there so they're getting their own paragraph! March Madness has come to an official end and the Final 4 has become the Final 1…Kansas beat Memphis (75-68) to win the NCAA Championship title! Science has taken a twisted turn. Scientists in England made a human/cow embryo by combining a cow egg with a human cell, but the embryo only lasted 3 days. Oprah had the pregnant man on her show. The transgender man is really a woman who transitioned into a man but kept her reproductive organs and is now expecting his/her first child (try to keep up). On a lighter note the New Kids On the Block reunion on the Today show was kind of anticlimactic cause they didn’t even perform. But no worries…they will be back to perform May 16th! Comedian Jerry Seinfeld had a little scare when his car’s brakes failed and his car flipped over, but he was able to walk away unhurt. Academy Award winner and National Rifle Association president Charlton Heston passed away at the ripe age of 84. Princess Diana can finally rest in peace. A jury in London concluded that her death was a combination result of her driver being drunk and the paparazzi chasing their car. I feel like it’s my duty as a distributor of important information to warn you of a cereal recall. Malt-O-Meal cereal is being recalled due to fears of salmonella contamination. For more info check out: http://money.cnn.com/news/newsfeeds/articles/djf500/200804071558DOWJONESDJONLINE000590_FORTUNE5.htm and get rid of the cereal if you have it in your pantry. Pam Anderson isn’t letting a 3rd divorce keep her down. It has just been announced that she is getting her own reality show on the E! Channel. Matt Damon and Sarah Silverman continue to rub their love affair into Jimmy Kimmel’s face. To celebrate Kimmel’s 1,000th show they put this ad in the Daily Variety: http://www.people.com/people/article/0,,20188213,00.html.
I hope this gives you an idea of what's going on in the world. Buck up…it's not so bad! The Clintons only made $109 million more than you and Pammie is coming back to the small screen. All is right with the world!
Now go and have an intellectually stimulating conversation with your neighbor about what you've just learned.
No comments:
Post a Comment